If you haven’t yet watched American Vandal, you should. It’s a hilarious spoof on the true-crime documentary genre that takes a written-off social outcast defendant only to unravel the prosecution’s supposedly open-and-shut case.
But the dickumentary doesn’t revolve around a murder mystery. It revolves around a dick mystery. Literally. There’s even a hashtag asking the question, like a raunchy game of Clue: #whodrewthedicks? (If that word offends you, you’re interested in the wrong show.)
So, then, who drew the dicks? That’s what a lot of people want to know. There are entire Reddit threads devoted to dissecting various theories. Warning: There are numerous spoilers ahead.
First, the set up. The original Netflix series, available for streaming on the Netflix site right now, is an eight-episode satire of oh-so-serious shows like Making a Murderer, Serial, and Jinx that redefined the true crime genre. Only, in this case, the characters are actors (yes, American Vandal is not a real story despite what a lot of people think on Twitter.)
.@funnyordie‘s #AmericanVandal is now streaming on Netflix!
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The main character, Dylan Maxwell, is a dim-witted high schooler (shades of Steven Avery and his nephew Brendan Dassey) who is accused by the school board and other authorities of spray painting big red penises on multiple teachers’ cars in the Hanover High School parking lot. Although he admits it’s pretty “funny,” he adamantly denies drawing the dicks. The evidence against Dylan looks clear cut: There’s an eyewitness who saw him do it (Alex Trimboli); he had a penchant for drawing dicks on a teacher’s white board before; that teacher claims that her tire was also slashed, and Dylan probably targeted her because of an ongoing feud that dates back to her dislike of his brother; and there are inconsistent statements about where he was during the dick drawing timeline.
Then it all starts to unravel through a Cold Justice-style investigation by two high school wannabe filmmakers. The series revolves around their mockumentary, and the behind-the-scenes footage, spliced as it is with social media videos and text messages, makes it all feel real. But it’s not.
So, who drew the dicks? From the start, there’s a key clue: Someone deleted security footage of the parking lot during the mayhem; there were only 9 students (and one teacher) who had access to that footage. The students are known as the “Morning Show 9.” The teacher with access had a rock-solid alibi. The suspect list grew as the students filming the documentary considered whether a couple might have drawn the dicks.
The entire first season of American Vandal drops this Friday on @netflix ! And yes, for the last time, it is absolutely a real show.
Warning: If you really don’t want the plot spoiled, stop reading.
Making a Murderer left out the alternate suspects, posing more questions than it offered new answers, and focused instead on poking holes in the state’s case against Avery and his nephew for murdering a photographer on the family’s junkyard property (the nephew’s conviction was overturned, although the state is appealing that decision.)
In the end, American Vandal points toward one key suspect, and builds a compelling case against her (yes, her), but stops short of passing final judgment. That’s because the evidence against the final suspect is also circumstantial, and the show compellingly demonstrates time and again how it would be possible to make it look like most of the Morning Show 9 members drew the dicks if you really wanted to go there. After all, many of them had opportunity and motive, as did others at Hanover High. As the viewer gets sucked into one red herring rabbit hole after the other, it becomes inescapably clear how easy it would be to rush to judgment. Against lots of people.
As one character sums it up: “I’ve learned that suggesting guilt is a whole lot easier than proving innocence. It’s not difficult to make any member of the morning show 9 look like they could have done this. They all had the opportunity, and most had the motive. But our evidence against them is circumstantial.”
The key suspect list:
Alex Trimboli
He is the key eyewitness against Dylan (he says he saw him draw the dicks!), but the school board’s star witness is prone to serial embellishment (no, he didn’t really get a hand job from the hottest girl in school; I mean, have you seen Alex Trimboli?) Maybe Alex drew the dicks so he could discover them and become the hero. Or is it possible that Trimboli was wrong but just mistaken?
Mackenzie Wagner & Dylan Maxwell
Dylan’s girlfriend is forced to reveal a damning video that exonerates both Dylan and herself while implicating her in other misdeeds, but, for a time, we’re sure she did it, maybe with Dylan all along. After all, she’s furious at the gym teacher because he was sleeping with her mother, she trashed his office, and his vehicle may have been treated to the first dick (based on paint splatter evidence.)
Mrs. Shapiro
Is it possible that Mrs. Shapiro framed Dylan by coercing Trimboli into identifying him as the dick drawer? After all, the secretly malevolent Spanish teacher once set up another student for something else. Plus, her tire wasn’t really slashed. It had a nail in it, which led her to invent a new, ridiculously convoluted theory that Dylan might have hammered the nail into it. Someone needs to tell Mrs. Shapiro that the simplest answer is usually the right one.
Peter Maldonado & Sam Ecklund
Maybe the documentary filmmakers drew the dicks, in the one case to create the fodder for a movie, and, in the other case, to force prom’s cancellation to prevent a secret crush, Gabi Granger, from going there with someone else. Seems plausible. Plus, they had access to the footage.
The Wayback Boys
Maybe Dylan’s crew of misfits helped plot the dick drawing; some of them were captured on video that gave them an alibi, but people heard them at a party supposedly planning the prank. But which prank?
Brandon Galloway
The frat boy archetype provably had the red spray paint can in his hand at a party, but he also left it behind.
Sarah Pearson
The hot girl at school has a rock-solid alibi, but she’s briefly entertained as a suspect too. Hey, it gives her more screen time.
Christa Carlyle
The school president who’s always got a protest is upset with Coach Rafferty, who wasn’t too keen on her football team tryout, and she’s upset the school district dismissed her complaint – and maybe she had an accomplice. After all, she doesn’t know CPR, although she claimed a CPR training session as her alibi, and her boyfriend, the hunky camp counselor, Van Delorey, certified the training.
In the end, the show leaves you thinking the dick drawing couple is probably Carlyle, with her boyfriend in tow (maybe he drew them, and she deleted the footage), but stops short of certainty. After all, that’s the entire point of the series – and its true-crime predecessors – how easy it is to shape a case, especially against people who just “look off” or are socially not desirable. Caryle is given the benefit of doubt that the school board didn’t give Dylan.
However, Reddit has a full thread of people who argue it’s not so clear cut. Some theories from the Reddit thread:
Yes, Christa Did It
Her cast switches legs! Said one Reddit comment writer, “She did it because she wasn’t just mad at Rafferty, she was mad at the whole system for ignoring her. They did a great job of setting this up with her being very political, she’d be someone who would see things not just in terms of interpersonal conflict, but the role and culpability of the institutions that protects itself from criticism.”
https://twitter.com/TypeAndrew/status/909091966087872512
Guys, spoiler alert; Christa CARlyle’s bf is named VAN DELorey #caseclosed #AmericanVandal
https://twitter.com/HiMyNameIsAIex/status/909954283315105792
Christa & Coach Rafferty Did It
“Christa drew the first dick on Coach Rafferty’s car, but then Rafferty drew the other 26 dicks to draw attention away from himself and prevent an investigation from exposing his misconduct case.”
Lingering mystery: What did Coach Rafferty say to Christa anyway? (And who gave the tip off about the Rafferty office vandalism?)
Peter Did It Because He Hooked Up With Sarah Pearson
Some eagle-eyed viewers, reported IndieWire, spotted something suspicious: “When the crew goes to investigate the logistics of the summer camp, Sarah Pearson’s hand-carved hookup list includes the initials ‘PM.’ Could this maybe be a secret nod to Peter Maldonado, effectively changing our perception of everything we see over these eight episodes, including that final party confrontation with Sarah?”
However, IndieWire asked the show’s creators and they said, no, it wasn’t purposeful, and they don’t think Peter’s comfortable around girls.
Pat Micklewaite
As one contributor put it, Micklewaite “was throwing some serious dick around in that school. He may have done the dicks simply as a display of dominance.”
Ming
The sweet and inexperienced exchange student had access to the security footage. “You’re all wrong, it was for sure Ming. Don’t buy into his act people!” wrote one comment writer on Reddit.
Mr. Kraz
We all know Mr. Kraz has no boundaries, so who knows what he’s capable of? “Who knows, maybe Kraz was in on it? When the gym teacher won teacher of the year, you can see Kraz walking out in disappointment,” wrote one Reddit sleuth.
Co-creator Tony Yacenda told IndieWire: “In the real world, you never know for sure a lot of the time. The way we described it is that Peter’s probably 90 percent sure he knows who drew the dicks.” Referring to the show’s other creator, he added, “Now, Dan and I are 100 percent sure, but I like that we live in a world where our documentarians are kind of unreliable narrators and can’t be 100 percent sure.”
American Vandal is painting the internet red with #DicksEverywhere! @netflix @funnyordie
Yacenda told Mashable, “I think we are, as a culture — especially now — infatuated with the idea of injustice and the justice system and whether or not somebody’s falsely accused, and we fancy ourselves the type of person that can watch something and be the judge and the jury and figure out a crime.”
Of course, if you watch the show, you also know: Dylan drew the dick. Just not those dicks.
