‘The Bachelor’ 2020 Premiere Recap: Who Gets Eliminated Tonight?

The Bachelor premiere Peter Weber

ABC

Welcome back to The Bachelor, friends. This season we have Peter Weber in the leading role, a Delta pilot who was the third-place finisher for Hannah Brown’s heart during last summer’s Bachelorette.

This season, Peter has a number of former pageant contestants vying for his heart, along with several flight attendants, a professional NBA dancer, a fashion blogger and even a cattle rancher, which is definitely one of the best and most unusual jobs for a Bachelor contestant. Rootin’ for ya, Cattle Rancher Avonlea!

Follow along with us during this live recap every week, but be warned of spoilers. Seriously, this is a live recap and it will be chock full of spoilers. This is your final warning.

All times Eastern.


The Opening

8:01 — Flashforward! This is the final rose ceremony and host Chris Harrison is giving Peter some apparently huge news.

“Before you do what you’re about to do there is something you should know. There’s something I just found out, all of us just found out,” says Harrison. “I’m not sure how all this ends, so I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

Peter says he feels like he’s going to pass out and then in a voice-over, Harrison calls it an “unbelievable journey like [we’ve] never seen before.”

8:02 — Does it feel like the Bachelor franchise shows just have to keep upping the stakes? When do we get a season where someone is pregnant by the end? Surely that’s something ABC could pull off.

8:03 — The montage of this season is INSANE. There are so many makeout sessions (and maybe more than kissing!) and there’s maybe a slap and someone’s a virgin and Peter’s mom is crying about him not letting someone go. No! Don’t make your mom cry, Peter! Crying moms are devastating.

8:04 — How is this footage of Peter getting in his plane not set to “Danger Zone”? This music is way too chill. Where’s the Maverick vibe, please and thank you?


The Intro Videos

8:11 — We meet our first ladies. Alexa, 27, is an esthetician from Chicago and she’s ready to “bare it all.” Hannah Ann is a model from Knoxville, Tennessee, whose family is super into this, which should be an indicator to the viewers that Hannah might in this for the long haul. Tammy, 24, is a house flipper from Syracuse. She’s super buff and hilarious — going to say it now: Tammy for next Bachelorette. Victoria, 27, is a nurse from Louisiana who raised her sister because their dad died and their mom was an addict. Oof, that’s tough. They’ve built bridges, though, and her mom is sober now. This one is super pretty and has a great story, so keep your eye on Victoria P.

8:15 — Kelley is a 27-year-old attorney from Chicago who is from a huge family of attorneys. She has a previous connection to Peter — she saw him in a hotel lobby and thinks that’s a sign. Well…. hmm. That might be stretching it a bit. Madison Prewett, 23, is a high school basketball star whose dad coaches for Auburn. She seems fine. She has beautiful eyes.

8:18 — Maurissa, 23, is a care coordinator for plastic surgeons. She’s a former Montana pageant contestant who struggled with body image and weight gain after all of her pageant criticism.


The Limo Arrivals

8:32 The limo intro highlights include three flight attendants, which ABC hilariously edits into one girl, Eunice, doing a voiceover about how being a flight attendant makes her unique, edited over several other flight attendants arriving too. Eunice, by the way, wears a giant pair of wings and says that she’s “winging it” and that she’s there “for the flight reasons.” Oh, sweetie.

8:38 — But that isn’t the worst airplane gag. Kiarra shows up zipped inside a suitcase, wheeled in on a baggage cart. Chris Harrison gets the line of the night with, “That’s some David Copperfield sh*t. We should cut her in half later.” Harrison’s got jokes!

8:41 — Deandra shows up dressed as a windmill and asks if Peter is ready for round five, which leads into a lot of “four times?!” jokes. For Pete’s sake, Kylie shows up with a string of condoms, then Katrina makes a joke about Peter loving her “hairless pussy… cat” and Victoria F. makes a joke about how her “dry sense of humor” is the only thing she has that’s dry. OK, ladies, reel it in a little. This is embarrassing.

8:43 — Weirdly, it’s not Avonlea the Cattle Rancher who shows up with an emotional support cow. That’s Jenna the nursing student. WTF. Though in a great Bachelor inside joke, the cow’s name is “Ashley P.” Heeee. To his credit, Peter rolls with all of this nonsense like a champ.

8:46 — Savannah, 27, a realtor from Houston is the first girl Peter kisses, though it’s not entirely by choice. She blindfolds him and then basically forces him to make out with her. He’s into it, but… that would never happen on The Bachelorette? That is not OK.

8:47 — Kelley shows up and Peter actually recognizes her. Well, that makes more sense. It seemed earlier like she just saw him in a hotel and decided that was a sign from God that she should go on The Bachelor and that felt a little weird.

8:56 — Last out of the limos is none other than Hannah Brown and all the girls in the mansion completely freak out. She’s there to give Peter back his pilot wings and wish him good luck. Hmm. This feels like A Thing. Is Hannah going to come popping back up a bunch this season?


The Cocktail Party

8:58 — During the cocktail party, there are a few girls who seem like they get drunk very quickly, though because of the magic of editing, we don’t know what time of night that actually is. But yikes. Get some water, ladies. Also, Auburn Madison needs to stop using the word “like” so much.

9:08 — Hannah Ann gives Peter a painting she did and then they make out, much to the other spying ladies’ dismay. Then Tammy frisks Peter while he has handcuffs on and she kisses him too. Peter is pretty into it. Then after Mykenna interrupts Natasha’s time with Peter, Mykenna gets a makeout sesh. So that’s four girls Peter has kissed and we aren’t even halfway through the premiere episode. Natasha pretty much sums up the entire Bachelor franchise by saying, “There are some cats and some rats!”

9:11 — Hannah Ann can’t stop interrupting other ladies’ time with Peter. She keeps coming back for more and it’s hard not to picture an UnReal producer sitting just off screen poking her with a cattle prod to encourage her to keep interrupting so as to cause maximum drama amongst the contestants. Shiann actually confronts Hannah Ann about it and Hannah Ann says she appreciates Shiann talking to her and respects it and tells Shiann to “make a run for it, girl.” Shiann doesn’t know what to even make of that. Seriously, it’s hard to tell if Hannah Ann is a fake “sugar wouldn’t melt in her mouth” girl or if she’s actually just that genuinely nice. Could go either way at this point.

9:17 — Victoria F. is so awkward. She has to remind Peter about her “my sense of humor is the only thing dry about me” joke and it goes over like the same lead balloon as it did the first time. Oh, girl. Just stop. She goes off and cries about how awkward and stupid it was and… she’s not wrong. She also sighs and cries about how pretty everyone is and she’s also not wrong there. Aww, buck up, Victoria F! You’re also very pretty!

9:22 — Hannah Ann gets the first impression rose, which is not a huge shock. She’s definitely getting what we in the reality TV game call “a winner’s edit.” Meanwhile, Mykenna is getting “the night one drunk girl” edit, though that is pretty much her own fault.


Rose Ceremony

9:29 — Wow, it’s full-on morning. Usually, it’s still at least kind of dark out when they film this. Everybody looks suitably drunk and tired, LOL.

9:35 — The roses go to Hannah Ann (already had), Victoria P., Madison, Kelley, Lexi, Savannah, Lauren, Tammy, Alayah, Jasmine, Sydney, Natasha, Mykenna, Deandra, Sarah, Alexa, Kelsey, Payton, Kiarra, Courtney, Shiann, and Victoria F. That means Peter cuts Avonlea, Eunice, Jade, Jenna, Katrina, Kylie, Maurissa, and Megan. Huge bummer that the cattle rancher didn’t make it; her hometown date would have been amazing.


Group Date

9:42 — Well, this is why they held the Top Gun stuff back during the intro. It’s so they could play it up during the first date. Peter is feeling the need for speed, guys. He’s looking for his wingman. His ego is writing checks his body can cash, amirite?

Paramount

9:47 — The first group date includes Hannah Ann, Kelley, Deandra, Tammy, Courtney, Shiann, Victoria P., Jasmine, and Victoria F. They head to an airfield and there are two female pilots there, one who was the first female Blue Angel pilot and the other who flies combat planes for the Marines. Bad. Ass. Also, they awesomely put the ladies through some actual math tests. It is a little sad that only one of them knows how many feet are in a mile. C’mon, ladies. Do better.

9:54 — Victoria P. is scared of the gyroscope because she gets motion sickness really easily, which is perfectly legitimate. But she cries about it and the show overlays some really serious music and stock footage of the teacups at Disney World and honestly, you would think someone died on the teacups and that’s why Victoria can’t go on the gyroscope. But she does it and then she runs off and vomits in the bathroom. She acts like Peter coming to check on her is the sweetest thing someone has ever done, instead of the bare minimum someone could do if you run off to the bathroom to throw up. Victoria P’s life makes me a little sad, you guys.

10:00 — Here it is, the Top Gun anthem ripoff. Unfortunately, it does not portend a dramatic flight. Instead, the women have to do a ridiculous obstacle course where the winner gets some solo time with Peter. It comes down to Tammy and Kelley, with Kelley not bothering to stay on the airplane bicycle course and instead, heading straight to the finish. Tammy is rightly annoyed that the producers let Kelley win. Yeah, that sucks.

10:11 — “Coincidentally,” the post-date cocktail party time is at the hotel where Kelley and Peter met before filming started. Well played, Bachelor producers. Well played. Kelley, of course, reminds Peter of that and they run off to go “reenact” it in the lobby — and then she gets the rose from this date. Ugh, is Kelley going to be the villain we all hate this season? Because she’s kind of a lot.


Solo Date

10:17 — Madison gets the first one-on-one date and it strikes me how similar she and Hannah Ann are, looks-wise. Kelley kind of fits into that mold too, though she’s not quite as interchangeable as Madison and Hannah Ann. But Peter definitely seems to have a type.

10:22 — Anyway, he takes Madison to his parents’ vow renewal, WHAT?! OK, first of all, that is an insane first date. Secondly, the other girls are going to be soooooo jealous, OMG. That’s amazing. It is also amazing that Peter’s dad cries as his wife walks down the aisle with their other son, Jack. Then they cry some more while they say their vows, Peter’s dad can barely get through it. Stop making me cry, Peter’s dad and mom!

10:33 — But Madison and Peter seem to really have a nice time, they actually have a lovely talk later and seem to really bond, so this girl is definitely a keeper. She’s not going anywhere after this, at least not for a long time. Obviously, Madison gets a rose — and then they get a private concert from Tenille Arts where they slow dance, it’s all very romantic. But it gets even better when Peter’s whole family comes out to dance too, this is a very special date for this show. Madison is super lucky.


Group Date No. 2

10:43 — Hannah Brown is back! Again! She has arranged a “sex date” for Peter and contestants Lauren, Sydney, Payton, Natasha, Alexa, Kelsey, Mykenna, Alayah and Savannah. Obviously, the girls are not super pleased to see Hannah.

“She just seems to just… always be here,” says Sydney. “Why? Why are you here?” wonders Alayah, speaking for all of us.

10:47 — It just gets more awkward as Hannah recaps her relationship with Peter and all the sex they had. Have you guys heard? Have you heard Peter did it in a windmill four times? FOUR TIMES! HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS?!

This is all being done under the guise that Hannah is “helping them be confident in their sexuality.” Hmmm. The girls are then going to have to share a sexual story to a live audience. Ummmm… this all just feels super gross and weird, and the contestants feel that way too, especially because this whole “is Hannah going to join the cast” thing feels very manufactured. Mmm mmm. Nope. Stop it, show.

10:48 — Peter and Hannah talk about their past, getting very emotional. Hannah is pretty-crying with mascara smears and everything. But if she were going to join the show, I feel like the producers would have brought her on as more of a “villain” because that’s the way to wring the most drama out of her reappearance.

10:55 — Peter does ask Hannah to be a part of the house and she says “maybe,” then she says she questions sending him home in Crete “all the time.” Peter says in a private interview that he wants to be with Hannah; he wishes this had all worked out for them and he feels like such a jerk the way he’s treating the group of girls there on his show. Well, if the shoe fits, buddy…

10:58 Coming up next week: The Hannah thing is really bothering everyone and there are pools of tears. Rivers of tears. Whole oceans of tears.

11:00The Bachelor’s new tag line should be, “Come for the drama, stay for Chris Harrison’s dad jokes.”


The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

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