Pamela Anderson gave details about a traumatic event from her past.
The 55-year-old “Baywatch” alum opened up about her painful childhood in the Netflix documentary, “Pamela, A Love Story,” where she revealed that she wished for the death of a female babysitter who repeatedly molested her as a child — and then her wish came true.
“It was like three or four years of abuse,” Anderson said in the documentary, per The New York Post. “She always told me not to tell my parents. I tried to protect my brother from her.”
Pamela Anderson Revealed She Thought She Killed Her Babysitter With Her ‘Magical Mind’
Anderson revealed that she wished for the death of the abusive babysitter and even confessed to trying to kill her by stabbing her “in the heart with a candy cane pen.”
“I told her I wanted her to die,” the actress revealed. “She died in a car accident the next day.”
Anderson admitted that after the sitter’s sudden death, she believed she was responsible for the accident. “I thought I’d killed her with my magical mind,” she said. “I was sure that I did it, that I’d wished her dead and she died. I lived with that the whole of my young life.”
Anderson did not reveal how old she was when her babysitter died, but she previously said that the abuse took place when she was between ages four and eight, according to People.
Pamela Anderson First Publicly Told the Story About Her Babysitter in 2014
Anderson’s confession in “Pamela, A Love Story” is not the first time she has talked about her babysitter. She first revealed the traumatic story in 2014 while speaking at an event for the Pamela Anderson Foundation, according to the Associated Press.
“I did not have an easy childhood. Despite loving parents, I was molested from age six by a female babysitter,” she said at the time, according to The Daily Mail. Anderson also revealed she was raped by a 25-year-old male acquaintance when she was 12 years old. She told the crowd that she “wanted off this earth” following the abuse and that her love for helping animals “saved” her.
Anderson went into more detail about the babysitter’s abuse during an appearance on British journalist Piers Morgan’s “Life Stories” in 2018.
According to E! News, Anderson recalled the molestation and death of the woman her parents had hired to watch her, although her timeline for the abuse was shorter.
“I had a babysitter and she molested me for I think a year,” she told Morgan. “I remember wishing her dead and she ended up dying the next day in her graduation in a car accident.”
“I thought, ‘Ok, now I’ve killed her. I’m magic. I can’t tell my parents about this and I’ve killed her,’ so I started believing that I had this special power to kill people,” she revealed. “I was scared to tell [my parents] that this happened and I was also scared to tell them that I killed her.”
In a January 2023 interview with NPR, Anderson revealed that years after the trauma with her babysitter, she still “felt kind of like a prisoner of my childhood.”
“I just felt like I couldn’t – I was really confused,” she said. “I just was painfully shy, paralyzing. It was such an awful feeling. And so when I did get to LA, when I did push myself to kind of make these kind of brave choices, it was life or death for me. It really felt like I was doing something to overcome and take my power back.”
READ NEXT: DWTS Pro Mourns Terrible Loss