Rumer Willis, a former Dancing With the Stars mirrorball champion and the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, recently opened up about unwanted sexual encounters and the need for sexual consent.
Willis shared some personal experiences while talking about the “gray area” of consent alongside hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow and Gammy on a new episode of Red Table Talk titled “Sexual Consent: What Every Woman Should Know” available to watch on Facebook Watch.
During the episode, the women spoke about times when they have had sexual encounters that they did not necessarily consent to or felt pressured into.
Willis Says She Has Had Unwanted Sexual Encounters
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Consent is a topic that has been present in my life and in conversation more than ever and while it is so hard to talk about it, It is important to speak your truth. There is no gray area. Thank you @Jadapinkettsmith @willowsmith @adriennebanfieldnorris for the safe and loving space to discuss such a sensitive and important subject. @redtabletalk
During the episode, Willis opened up about the time she lost her virginity, saying that she did not do it because it was something she was excited about.
“When I lost my virginity when I was 18, I was more concerned with the shame that I was feeling at not having done it,” she said during the episode. “I was not abused, or it wasn’t rape, but I didn’t say yes, I wasn’t gung ho about it, but I also didn’t say no. I just let it happen.”
She explained that it was with a man who was older than her.
“He was older and took advantage and didn’t check in,” the Mirrorball champion added. “That’s where I feel like the man’s responsibility is. No means no, but what if you can’t say no? What if you’re in a position and you’re going, ‘I can’t express no because I’ve never done that.'”
Later, she told Jada that she has had a shift in perspective since opening up about it for the first time, adding that she wanted to get out “of a victim mentality” and make sure she wasn’t always “placing blame on men.”
“Because in every situation that I’ve been uncomfortable in, it is my responsibility to speak up, even if I couldn’t,” she added.
Willis Explains She Has Had Times When She Has “Completely Froze” When Trying to Say No
During the talk, Willis also opened up about more recent experiences in her life.
“I’m telling you, something happened to me a couple months ago and I hung out with this person for a little while,” she said. “We were kissing outside and I said, ‘Do you wanna come in for a minute?’ And when I ask you to come in my house, that doesn’t mean that I’m saying that you can get me naked, that doesn’t mean I’m saying you can do this.”
She said that as soon as they got in the house, there were hands everywhere, and then when her clothes off she “just froze.”
“I even have so much shame about bringing that up because I feel like I’m such an empowered, strong person, but I couldn’t even do it,” Willis told the women.
Rumer Willis also opened up about the fact that any time she’s been in a situation where she didn’t say no or someone took advantage of her, she blamed herself and punished herself for it.
Willis announced her appearance on Red Table Talk in an Instagram post, writing, “Consent is a topic that has been present in my life and in conversation more than ever and while it is so hard to talk about it, it is important to speak your truth. There is no gray area.”
Red Table Talk is available to stream on Facebook Watch.