According to ABC’s description of Thursday’s (November 5) episode of The Bachelorette, “Clare’s romantic situation is close to the tipping point as 16 of her remaining men are hopelessly confused about where they stand with the Bachelorette.”
It continues, “Chris Harrison pays Clare a visit and cautions her that her journey cannot continue on its current path, only to have her make a stunning revelation. Chris shares the startling news with the guys that the cocktail party and rose ceremony are canceled. A nervous Clare is about to embark on an unprecedented path to find her happy ending. Will she get her wish or will Dale, the man of her dreams, walk away? Will the other men be left with dashed hopes of a happily ever after with Clare?”
And the previews for this week definitely showed that Tayshia Adams is about to crash the party, so follow along here for all the tears, drama, and heartache.
All times Eastern.
8:05 — It seems like tonight’s the night, gang. We get to the flash-forward where Harrison tells Clare she blew up the show and then it sounds like she’s dunzo! And of course, a lot of guys are wondering…
8:07 — The guy from that gif is Kenny and he comes out swinging, bitching about last night’s group date and saying that Clare basically called them all “pieces of sh*t,” which she categorically did not do. Look, Clare could be handling this a little better, but the way the show is editing her into a villain is irritating. They could have shaped this narrative into a beautiful love story about a woman going after what she wants, but instead, they’re giving her the shrew edit and I am not here for it.
8:10 — We finally get Harrison’s sit-down with Clare. He says this cannot keep going the way it’s going. She says she respects the process, but she only has eyes for Dale. She admits to having stalked his social media while she was in quarantine, but she swears on her father’s grave that they did not have any contact with one another before filming. Harrison asks her point-blank what she wants to do now and she says she wants to spend all of her time with Dale and be able to let him know how she feels.
8:20 — Harrison tells the guys some very circumspect news: no cocktail party, no rose ceremony, and he’ll see them all tomorrow. Huh. They definitely wanted footage of some guys leaving, so they teased them with this to see if anyone would quit, right? Meanwhile, Harrison pulls Dale aside to tell him that Clare wants to spend time one-on-one with him tonight. And back in the group, some a-hole… sorry, it’s hard to tell them all apart at this point… is like, “He’s NOT her guy. She hasn’t made up her mind, get out of her head. F*ck that!” Ooh, you’re definitely going to win her over with that attitude, bro.
8:30 — Clare and Dale have a private dinner and she tells him the story of her parents, how they met once and her dad hitchhiked to see her mom again three weeks later and proposed. They were married three months later and were together for 42 years. Wow, that’s beautiful. Dale shares a similar story about his parents, which is a little bit weird. Not because they couldn’t share similar backstories, but the way he presented it was just a little weird. Like a little socipath-y. But anyway, Clare gets super emotional. She’s terrified to really tell him how strong her feelings are because it’s so scary to be that vulnerable.
8:40 — Back from commercial, they basically say they’re falling in love with each other. They both feel a little crazy and hey — maybe this is real! My husband and I knew after a week, gang, and now it’s been almost 12 years and we have three kids. So, maybe! And now it’s time for some dancing, the music courtesy of “Listen to Your Heart” winners Bri Stauss and Chris Watson. I love that they’re still together, that’s wonderful. And they still sound great together!
8:50 — So, Clare and Dale totally DID IT. The shot of their dress clothes crumped on the floor is particularly *chefs kiss*. Of course, what do they do now? Please let there be a walk of shame for them past the other guys. Please. (Not that I think they have anything to be ashamed of, but y’all know what I mean by the phrase “walk of shame.”
8:55 — Harrison stops by Clare’s place and he’s so giddy when he asks, “Sooooo…. how was last night?!” and it’s the most adorable girl-talk EVER. Clare says Dale loves her and Harrison says, “Proposal time. Tonight.” WOW.
9:00 — Oh! Time for Clare to talk to the men! Get your cringiest GIFs ready. OK, so, Clare basically tells the guys she’s in love with Dale, which was the whole point of this, so yay for her and she’s sorry it went this way for them. Some of them express their concern that she’s going to get hurt, which is a valid point of view. Then one says she should apologize to the group for wasting their time. That is also valid. So she does apologize (sort of) by saying she’ll apologize IF she wasted their time, but she won’t apologize for love. And then magically, all the guys are congratulating her for her courage and saying they’re happy for her. Well, that scene was totally not at all scripted or anything!
8:15 — So, Chris Harrison is Facetiming Neil Lane. “GET ME SOME RINGS, MAN.” Then Harrison sits down with Dale, who is on board to propose, rather than running so hard in the other direction that he leaves a Dale-shaped hole in the wall.
8:30 — Wow, they are really dragging out the second hour of this episode. OK, time for the proposal. Will Dale show up for her? Yes, he shows up! A reminder to everyone who is like, “This is INSANE.” Well, this whole show is insane. Just embrace it and have fun! Be like Clare and Dale, as they say, “I love you” and get engaged. Wow.
8:40 — The next morning, Harrison apologizes to the other guys as they talk about how there’s still so much love to give. Um, what PA is feeding them these lines? And is it just me or do these guys look the exact same in every scene? Did they film all these scenes in the same go or did they not let them leave the common space area for two days? Anyway, Harrison tells the guys their journey is not over and everybody kind of freaks out. He tells them they need to decide if they want to stay or if they’re ready to be done.
8:55 — The guys hem and haw about whether to stay or not. C’mon, why not? If you don’t have a kid at home waiting for you, why the heck not? That night, it looks like everybody chose to stay. Cue Tayshia Adams pulling up in a limo!
The Bachelorette airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.