Nikki Bella had recently welcomed her first child with her boyfriend Artem Chigvinstev when he left home for the Dancing With the Stars bubble. It was a long few weeks for the new mom, who had hard time watching her man get close to another woman — even though she knew it was completely platonic.
Chigvinstev was partnered with former Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe. Nikki Bella opened up about her struggles while filming her reality television show Total Bellas. The episode in which she got candid about her feelings aired on Thursday, January 21.
“It’s been so f–king hard. I’m trying to keep it together and … I’m about to lose it. I’m about to have a massive breakdown,” Nikki Bella said.
“It’s not about her and him. Like, I don’t have a fear of Artem going off. That’s not it. It’s wanting what she’s getting from him. Can he come home and laugh with me? Can he come home and ask me how I’m doing? Like, I want to feel wanted and sexy,” she added.
Nikki Bella has nothing against Kaitlyn Bristowe, and seems to maintain the feelings that she expressed last year.
“I really love Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn is an amazing person—let’s take dancing aside—she’s an awesome person… So it makes me feel bad if I came off in a different way ’cause I don’t want that,” she previously said on her Total Bellas podcast, according to E! News.
Here’s what you need to know:
Nikki Bella Previously Admitted She Was ‘Mean’ to Artem Chigvinstev
Nikki Bella struggled with postpartum depression after welcoming her son, Matteo, in July. She had moments of feeling completely alone as her beau was away in Los Angeles, going after the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy (which he won).
In September, she chatted about the challenges she was facing, opening up to her sister on the Total Bellas podcast.
“I’m not gonna lie, I did have moments of being mean. I did have moments when I looked at him and I hated him. It’s true. There were times I’d look at him and I’m like, ‘I think I hate you’,” she said.
“I was starting to feel invisible. … It just started to build up. Being alone with [our son], Matteo, and just feeling lonely and not loved and invisible,” she added.
Kaitlyn Bristowe Praised Nikki Bella Ahead of the ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Finale
Ahead of the Dancing With the Stars finale, Bristowe praised Nikki Bella. She completely recognized how challenging it was for Nikki Bella to be home with a newborn while her Chigvinstev was working.
“This is the last time I’ll bug you for votes because THIS IS FOR THE MIRRORBALL. This is for 19 year old Kaitlyn who was told she wasn’t a good enough dancer. For Artem’s first finale, baby and fiancée,” she said on social media, according to E! News.
“…And Artem.. from wanting you as a partner 5 years ago, manifesting this, finally meeting you, an injured ankle hiccup, your brilliant choreography, a few 10’s and A LOT of hard work. Thank you. And thank you @thenikkibella for being an incredible partner and mama during this time. Not easy. And you did it all while being so supportive,” she added.
“To see him perform…his smile could not get any bigger. You just felt his excitement and his love and his passion and more than anything, his happiness,” she concluded.