We really must say, when we started to write this post about inappropriate Christmas sweaters, it was set to be a unisex tome about completely tasteless, but funny, ugly Christmas sweater options. As we’ve discovered, apparently there is some inequality between the sexes when it comes to these cult classics. As it turns out, women’s ugly Christmas sweaters were mostly cutesy ugly. For reasons we can’t begin to explain, the men’s tacky sweaters totally crossed the line, with over-the-top suggestive and bawdy messages and graphics. These sweaters sully Santa’s reputation, feature fornicating arctic animals, openly exhibit snowmen with “carrot envy” and encourage full celebration of the holidays by imbibing in all sorts of naughty ways. Some even featured pockets to carry your booze. Wow, these men’s inappropriate Christmas sweaters are pretty darned cool. Ladies, feel free to buy them too.
Now, just in case you’re looking for the standard ugly Christmas sweaters, don’t worry guys. We’ve got a long list of funny and fun ones right here. They’re mostly church safe and office worthy, and in general, pretty darned hideous. On the other hand, if you’re looking to dress your most obnoxiously offensive, just to outdo your co-workers or friends and family at the next ugly sweater party, these inappropriate Christmas sweaters are almost a guarantee that you will, indeed, win Christmas. Check out these hilarious Top 10 Best Inappropriate Christmas Sweaters 2017, and order a couple now, because they are selling fast and you definitely don’t want to miss out.
1. Daisysboutique Men’s Holiday Snowman Ugly Christmas Sweater
Imagine the blow to a snowman’s ego. Is it a case of carrot envy or just more proof that even in snowman land, size matters? Judging by the hilarious expressions on the Daiseyboutique Holiday Snowman Ugly Sweater, we’re guessing it’s the latter. This soft and thick sweater will be a favorite for all your holiday adventures, and there’s sure to be someone on your Christmas gift list that needs this, right? If you’re looking for a larger sized inappropriate Christmas sweater, the Excited Snowman Ugly Christmas Sweater has a strategically place stuffed carrot on the front that you can wiggle in the most suggestive way, and it comes in sizes up to 5XL. The Snowman Nose Thief Sweater by Tipsy Elves shows what can happen when snowmen turn on each other. One discovers that his key attribute is missing, while his snow pal nearby is suddenly sporting a remarkable joie de vivre! This hilarious and completely inappropriate Christmas sweater is the perfect blue and grey color combo to wear with jeans or slacks. It features a playful snowflake spangled background, with a white and blue striped neckline and cuff pattern. This men’s ugly Christmas sweater is just the ticket for family holiday get togethers, and any other events when you’ll be with people who have a great sense of humor. The high quality, double-panel construction with reinforced seams means this ugly sweater is machine washable so it’ll deliver lots of laughs for years to come.
2. Alex Stevens Men’s Sad Snowman Ugly Christmas Sweater
The life of a snowman is apparently fraught with unexpected trauma, especially from the creatures of nature. This inappropriate Christmas sweater features the poor hapless snowman looking horrified as he gets a golden shower from the neighborhood pooch. This cozy and warm ugly sweater is made of 100 percent cotton and features a brightly appliqued design, making it a standout for all your ugly Christmas sweater parties and gatherings where an offbeat sense of humor can be fully appreciated. This sweater is a pretty snug fitting option, so if you’re looking for more of a baggy grandpa sweater look, you might want to go up a size. This hilarious Christmas sweater is terrific gift idea for your your siblings or father-in-law.
3. Men’s Snowman Stick-up Ugly Christmas Sweater
It takes more than a stiff south wind to melt Frosty, but no snowman’s savings are safe from a snowman who has turned to a life of crime, and is armed with two high powered blow dryers. This cotton and acrylic inappropriate Christmas sweater will get everyone laughing, and the classic red and green motif is perfect for your next ugly Christmas sweater party, or any other time of the winter. This ugly sweater features a snug fit, and runs on the small side, so you’ll want to order a larger size than you might normally wear. If someone on your gift list works in the banking industry, this would be a great gift idea for them. Clearly the crime has already occurred on the Daisysboutique Holiday Snowman Ugly Sweater.
4. Santa’s Relief Light-Up Ugly Christmas Sweater
After a long night of flying around the world, it’s no wonder that Santa and Rudolf have to relieve themselves, but you’d better just hope that it’s not from your rooftop. This inappropriate Christmas sweater comes complete with a light up Santa pee stream and sparkly tinkle from Rudolf too. Despite the fact that it lights up, this 100 percent cotton ugly sweater is machine washable and easy care. The color changing LED lights make quite the splash (pun intended) in the dark, and the nifty battery pack will keep them flashing all night long. In the realm of ugly Christmas sweaters, this one’s a doozie for you or as a gift for someone you love, or don’t. As the old saying goes, don’t eat yellow snow, and the Yellow Snow Ugly Christmas Sweater looks like Santa had one too many egg nogs and decided it was time to spread some of his Christmas cheer. If you’re not looking for a light-up sweater, thhis cushy, soft acrylic sweater washes beautifully and gets a lot of laughs too. If you like to keep Santa’s reputation sacred, the Peeing Elf Ugly Christmas Sweater makes it clear just who’s been naughty, rather than nice.
Price: $25.01 – $34.99
5. Santa’s North Pole Dance Ugly Sweater
Santa’s North Pole dance puts a whole new perspective on what the old elf is doing to get his jollies in the off season, doesn’t it? With dollar bills strewn at her feet, the sexy dancer is cheered on by both Santa and his little elf on this inappropriate Christmas sweater. This 100 percent acrylic ugly sweater is easy care and retains its shape well, but sadly it is only available in a sizes small and extra large. The Pole Dancing Elves Ugly Christmas Sweater comes in lots of size options and it’s equally disturbing in design. Some other inappropriate Christmas sweaters that you might want to consider that do sully’s Santa’s image a bit are the mostly nude dude, drinking and smoking Santa sweater that could be just right for you or someone on your gift list. Or perhaps you’d prefer the not-at-all-erotic Mr. & Mrs. Claus sharing their baubles ugly Christmas sweater. It’s almost enough to give you bad dreams, right? These sweaters are all super affordable, so you might want to get a couple to wear to your holiday gatherings.
Price: $17.99 (70 percent off MSRP)
6. Romantic Santa Light-Up Ugly Christmas Sweater
Just sayin’, this Santa package might not be what you’d want under your tree, but it’s the perfect image for the front of an inappropriate Christmas sweater. With Santa stretched out in all his naked glory on a bear rug, bottle of wine in hand, you’ll forget all about being proper at the holidays and fall into irreverent fun wearing this ugly Christmas sweater. The four flashing LED lights will make certain that you get all the attention you deserve when you’re brave enough to wear it. They are long lasting and motion activated, so this sweater will give you the sparkle of the season, and because these lights are sewn in place, they don’t have an annoying battery pack like some other light up sweaters. Another inappropriate sweater option is the Santa Toilet T-Rex Attack Ugly Christmas Sweater, although it does make you wonder who thinks up these things?
7. Men’s Censored Santa Christmas Sweater by Tipsy Elves
Clearly Santa needs a new red velvet robe, because the one he’s wearing on this inappropriate Christmas sweater has to be censored in front and leaves his bum in the buff on the back. This ugly Christmas sweater is one of our favorites because it has a fun design on both the front and back of the sweater, so you’ll get people laughing whether you’re coming in or leaving the room. This 100 percent acrylic sweater stands up to washing and never loses its color, so you can count on wearing it for many Christmases to come. If you’ve got a party where the sight of Santa’s butt cheeks might not be appreciated, just duck tape an X over them, for an even funnier conversation starter. The woodgrain pattern duck tape is a perfect option for the job.
8. Reindeer Climax Tacky Christmas Sweater
The reindeer on the front of this inappropriate Christmas sweater have gone beyond frisky, and moved into downright brazen buck behavior. Who knew that rut extended through the holidays? Because you don’t want to have to explain this tacky sweater to your kids, we’d suggest you keep this for an ugly Christmas sweater party that’s strictly for adults only. If you’d prefer these badly behaved bovines on a button up style ugly sweater, the Reindeer Double Date Cardigan is a perfectly inappropriate option for either men or women. And hey, reindeer aren’t the only horny animals around the North Pole at Christmas. The Polar Bear Pair Ugly Christmas Sweater is proof positive that cold climates make all the animals desire some closer contact.
Price: $29.95 (53 percent off MSRP)
9. 3 Santas Men’s Chestnuts Roasting Ugly Christmas Sweater
A bare bottomed Santa is warming up his manly bits by the fire on this inappropriate Christmas sweater, and who can blame him? We’ll just hope that fire doesn’t shoot out any sparks or Santa’s going to need a trip to the ER . This ugly sweater is unusual in that it’s a lightweight knit, so it’s easy to wear under jackets. The simple snowflake pattern along the cuffs and hem make this tacky sweater seem perfectly holidayish. If you’ve got loved ones living in a warmer winter climates, this ugly sweater is a perfect gift idea for them. If you get a laugh out of Santa in the semi-nude, check out the buff jolly elf on the Shirtless Santa Ride Ugly Christmas Sweater. For an even more fit, but scantily clad Santa, the Deadlift Santa Ugly Christmas Sweater adds an inappropriate touch by having some noxious toots emitting from Santa’s behind. Oh my.
Price: $29.99 – $34.99
10. Let’s Get Baked Ugly Christmas Sweater
There’s nothing that gets you in the holiday spirit like a little drug humor, right? The Let’s Get Baked inappropriate Christmas sweater is perfect for those pot parties (in states where that sort of thing is legal, of course), but it’s even funnier to wear to your wife’s cookie exchange. You’ll know who is savvy and who’s not, depending on whether they get the innuendo here. This sweater does tend to run a bit large, so if you’re looking for that saggy, baggy look, it’s a great option. Prefer a little liquor humor instead? The 3 Santas Men’s Blizten Sweater features that legendary reindeer looking like the morning after his Christmas Eve flight was pretty rough. The Drinking Santa Ugly Christmas Sweater features a handy beer pocket in front so you can carry your libations from party to party without fear of missing a drink.