41 Weirdest Sex Toys

Get ready for the weirdest sex toys you can find. I’m not here to kink-shame anyone–just think of this as a museum of kinks you didn’t know existed and (I have to assume) a couple of manufacturing mistakes because: yikes.

Price: $ – $
41 Listed Items

What Do I Do If I Like One of the Weird Sex Toys on Here? 

Don't panic! There's nothing wrong with that. Instead, be excited you've come upon an opportunity to explore something you didn't know you might want to explore.

Suprise kinks crop up sometimes and can lead to some fun, satisfying evenings. As long as you're being safe, sane, and consensual, there's no harm in giving it a try. 

These toys exist for a reason.

There's a market for each and every one of them and that's fine.

Did You Know that Being Kinky is Actually Really Normal?

Study after study has shown that what used to be thought of as rare and deviant sexual behavior has turned out to be pretty typical.

The Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon has blown that wide open. (Just don't use that as a blueprint for your own kinky life because there is a mile-long list of problems in the books and movies that will get you in trouble or even injured--like their use of spreader bars.)

The Smithsonian rounded up several studies that all show that not only are people kinkier than we thought, but Americans are significantly kinkier than the world overall. According to a 2005 survey, 36 percent of Americans were actively into kink practices compared to the worldwide average of 20 percent. 

There's this idea that people who are into freaky stuff in the bedroom must be mentally disturbed. That's completely not the case. A 2006 article published in the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality studied a group of people from the kink community and found the proportion of mental health issues (including depression, anxiety, and personality disorders) was comparable to what the DSM estimates as the general average. 

Kinky folks are normal, average folks.

What Is Kink-Shaming?

Kink-shaming is making (or trying to make) someone feel bad about their proclivities or fetishes. Saying people who do X, Y, Z type of things are sick or messed up is kink-shaming. So is saying such and such act is gross. 

And that's not cool. Everyone is into different stuff and that's fine and healthy. I don't like white chocolate but it would be silly to call people who do like white chocolate nasty names, right?

How Do I Not Kink Shame?

Okay, it's really easy. Repeat after me: Your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay.

That is the general rule. There are people who are into sex stuff that you may find weird, strange, or even repulsive.

There are also probably folks who are turned off by the stuff you like. And that's okay. We don't have to all be the same. That would be boring. 

For example, I have a phobia of balloons. (It's a little odd but true.) At the same time, I know there are full communities of people who have a balloon fetish. While that sounds like a nightmare to me, I also think it's pretty neat that as humans we have such a range of interactions with simple objects like a balloon.

Their kink is not my kink but their kink is okay. Simply live and let live without making judgments.

What If I'm Being Shamed?

One, I'm sorry, that sucks. 

Two, that says infinitely more about them than it does about you. 

If it helps, unfortunately, people are going to get shamed by someone for whatever way they're choosing to get down. It's not just people on the fringes who get judged.

LGBTQ folks get shamed for their preferences. There are cultural and religious communities that have loads of shame around oral acts. 

A heterosexual couple having the most vanilla, loving, textbook-standard intimacy you could think of will be shamed based on their marital status. 

If people know about it, they're probably going to have some judgment or another about how you get your rocks off so you might as well do the things you actually enjoy.

A Note on Gender.

For the purposes of clarity, I have used the medical-textbook terms for our anatomy in the above. Please substitute whatever language you use for your sexy parts. Sex toys aren't gendered.


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