There are tons of things you need to think about as a stoner. First, you need a smoking device. Do you prefer paper or glass? Next, do you prefer concentrates or flower? Third, do you have a lighter, matches, a butane torch? Last, do you have a way to rid of the smell? All of these are super important to your smoking experience. But, there are other things that will make your high considerably better.
Once you have all of your smoking equipment in front of you, and you’ve taken a few rips, there are a few things that will happen. By now, you’re feeling stoney and awesome. Perhaps you’re hungry and craving some high snacks. Or, you’re freezing your patootie off. I’m pretty sure you can’t call yourself a true stoner if you’ve never experienced the high chills.
How in the world do you combat getting unreasonably cold when you’re stoned? I’ve got one word for you: Onesies. Yeah, you could wrap yourself up in a blanket like a burrito, or a Snuggie or the off-brand Slanket could do the trick. But if you need to go outside, it’s a whole process of putting on a coat, removing the blanket, and putting on pants. Stop that! Get a onesie to combat those terrible high chills.
And if you’re purchasing a onesie for a festival, make sure you’re set in other areas. So be sure to check out festival essentials, awesome gear to bring, festival clothing, and even flow toys. Keep your campsite home-y with camp chairs and a table.
I’ve compiled a list of the best onesies for when you’re stoned and cold. Check it out below!
1. Best Disney Onesie: Adults Stitch Onesie Halloween Costumes
Who the heck doesn’t love a good Disney film? Furthermore, who in the world doesn’t enjoy Lilo and Stitch? This awesome Hawaiian-themed movie leaves you feeling so phenomenal and fuzzy inside. So, why not show that amazing fuzziness on the outside with a Stitch onesie?
Whether you’re heading to a festival and dressing up with a Lilo, or hanging out on your couch alone, this Stitch onesie is perfect. It’s moderately thick and made of 100% polyester fleece, ensuring your warmness all night long. If you’re a pocket fiend, don’t worry because this baby has a pair of them. Just toss it into a cold machine wash to get out any stains or smells. This baby is an all-around amazing choice.
Perhaps you’re more of a pink lover. Check out Stitch’s friend, Angel, in onesie form!
- Made with extremely soft, comfortable material
- Machine washable
- Lilo and Stitch themed – too cute!
- Sizing is off, so make sure to look at measurements
2. Best Cow Onesie: Cow Animal Costume
Mooooooooooo! There’s just something amazing about these majestic black-and-white beasts. They’re highly intelligent and actually form best friends. Plus, they produce delicious dairy products (although you may not be so thrilled if you have a dairy allergy or lactose intolerance!). In addition to their awesome animal qualities, they make for an amazing onesie.
This baby doesn’t just feature a cow pattern. No, it has a full-on hood, featuring eyes, ears, teeth, and nose. Plus, it’s made of a super soft, warm material, and you can snap it closed with buttons. Thanks to two pockets, you can bring your phone, keys, or other important things. So, let out your inner cow and you’ll be mooing with the best of them.
- Sizing is relatively spot on, height-wise
- Has two pockets for storage
- Extremely comfortable and warm
- Cannot be machine washed – colors will fade
3. Best Pink Onesie: Totally Pink Onesie
There are so many different colored onesies out there, such as black onesies, red onesies, and green onesies. And, pink onesies are a super popular choice. There’s just something about pink that makes clothing pop. Perhaps it’s the va va voom of the color, or it’s the fact it’s so bold and out there. Either way, a pink onesie is the way to go.
Let your inner pink shine with the Totally Pink Onesie. It has a comfortable, relaxed fit, perfect for any cozy, chill-at-home situation. Plus, it features elastic cuffs around the wrists and ankles, so you can keep them in place, or adjust them. And, theres a zipper to make for an easy on-off experience. Pink guy, pink girl, pink non-binary–this is the pink onesie for you.
- Amazing fit for tall people – up to 6’2
- Features two pockets and zippers
- It’s super warm and soft
- May not come with pictured tail
- Will rip if pulled too hard
4. Best Pig Onesie: Pink Pig Onesie
Pigs have always been such cute animals. And they’re smart as a whip. In fact, they’re so smart and such awesome creatures that people use miniature pigs as house pets. Instead of purchasing a onesie dedicated to the other animals on a farm (like the cow), opt to dress up in an adorable pig onesie.
This baby is everything you could want. It’s made from an insanely soft fleece material, leaving you snuggly and warm. Rather than a zipper–which can easily get stuck or break–this onesie has snap closures. Plus, if you want matching slippers, you can snag a pair here to fully deck out your outfit. Grab this pig onesie, and you’ll be oink oinking in no time.
- Made of high-quality, warm material
- Has snap closures for ease
- Can purchase matching slippers
- Not built for tall people – only two sizes available
- May be baggier than expected
5. Best Silly Onesie: Onesie Pajamas With a Creature Hood
When it comes to onesies, there are so many crazy colors, designs, and characters to choose from. Some are scary, some are cute, and some are downright awesome.”Downright awesome” comes in the form of a monster. You know what could make it better? Making it a rainbow monster. Guess what….it exists, and it’s known as the Onesie Pajamas With a Creature Hood.
This bad boy is everything you could want in a onesie, and more. It’s made with hypoallergenic synthetic knit, and the material won’t stretch or itch. Whenever it needs to be washed, just toss it into the washing machine–make sure it’s with like-colored clothes, though. You’ll be giggling extra hard every single time you put on this onesie. Don’t miss out on those gut-wrenching laughs.
Price: $19.97 – $26
- Machine washable with similar colors
- Sizing is spot-on
- Material is hypoallergenic and holds its form
- It’s a rainbow creature, sure to make you giggle
- Not ideal for those who dislike bright colors
6. Best Animal Onesie: New Sloth Adult Pajamas
While there are loads of animal onesies out there, most of them are “typical” animals. They’re usually farm animals like pigs or cows (like above), or big, well-known animals like a giraffe. Well let me tell you–animal onesies are not limited to those babies. Instead, there are awesome ones like sloths. Yep, you read that right: A sloth onesie.
This baby is made of an insanely comfortable, soft polar fleece. So, you’ll be nice and cuddle cozy when the high chills set in. For an easy on-off, there are snap buttons, instead of a zipper. It comes with fingered gloves, and an adorable little tail. Just don’t take on too many sloth-like qualities when you smoke and put on this amazing onesie.
Price: $25.90 – $28.90
- Made of a very soft polar fleece material
- Has gloves to keep your hands warm
- Machine washable
- Sizing is off – refer to chart
7. Best Tie Dye Onesie: Forever Lazy Unisex Non-Footed Adult Onesie
When it comes to stoners, people usually have a few stereotypes in mind. First, of course are drug rugs (which you can snag here), second are funky-patterned pants (Like these ones). Third is tie dye. Tie dye is awesome, fun, and looks sick when it’s a onesie.
The Forever Lazy Unisex Non-Footed Adult Onesie totally embodies a tie dye onesie. It has super convenient pockets, deep enough to make sure your phone doesn’t fall out. A wide range of sizes are available from XXS-XXL. Plus, if you need to go number two, theres a discreet back zipper to make your life easier. And it’s not footed, so you can throw on your own shoes or slippers. Go full stoner with the tie dye onesie.
Price: $34.99 – $39.99 (20 percent off MSRP)
- Has super deep pockets
- Features a back zipper to make bathroom breaks much easier
- Made of super comfy, anti-pill fleece
- Sizing is off – refer to sizing chart
8. Best Sleeping Bag Onesie: Adult Lite 5G Wearable Sleeping Bag
Onesies come in a lot of different shapes and sizes. But, have you heard of a wearable sleeping bag? It’s like a onesie, but taken to the next freakin’ level. Not only will it keep you warm, but you can literally fall asleep anywhere. Instead of being cold on the couch, scrounging for a blanket and pillow, just lay down, and you’ll be happy as a clam.
This bad boy has absolutely everything. It comes with super warm booties that you can zip off. Choose from three different colors: Purple, black, and blue. Easily bring your hands in-and-out of this sleeping bag onesie, thanks to no-hassle openings. Sizes range up to an XL, accommodating someone up to 6’4 tall. Change your stoner life for the better.
Price: $97.42 – $178.02
- Easy to remove hands and feet
- Very warm and comfortable
- Great for camping and chilling at home
- Hard to go to the bathroom
- Sizing is off – refer to size chart
- Can get hot, like a regular sleeping bag
9. Best Pokemon Onesie: Kigurumi Charmander Pokemon Onesie
Hey 90s (and many 80s) babies–remember the original 150 Pokemon? If you were playing Pokemon Red, Green, or Blue, on your gameboy, you could choose between three Pokemon: Charmander, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur. We all know everyone chose Charmander or Squirtle, so why not let your inner trainer out and rock it in a Charmander onesie?
This awesome onesie doesn’t have any feet, so you can put on your favorite fuzzy socks or slippers. It’s made of high-quality, soft material. Plus, it has small pockets for quick storage. And, if you really need to go to the bathroom, there’s a bottom flap to make your life much easier. A cute little tail also adorns the bottom. Pokemon is awesome–show off your fandom.
Bigger fan of a different Pokemon? Grab a Pikachu Onesie here.
Price: $17.79 – $25
- Made of extremely comfy, soft material
- Charmander colors are on-point
- Has pockets and a back flap for easy bathroom access
- Sizing is off – refer to chart
10. Best Alice in Wonderland Onesie: Adult Unisex Anime Cosplay Outfit
Alice in Wonderland is easily one of the most popular children’s movie of all time. While there are a lot of famous characters, like the White Rabbit, the Red Queen, and Alice herself, there’s another one that stands on his own: The Cheshire Cat. This confusing, crazy kitty comes to life with the Adult Unisex Anime Cosplay Outfit.
This onesie is made of a very different material: Flannel and coral velvet. This combination is extremely soft and high-quality. Rather than a zipper, this onesie features snap closures. It doesn’t have footies, so you can pair it with your favorite socks or foot gear. Plus, you can toss it in the washer without having to worry about shrinkage.
- Made of super warm, soft material
- Machine washable
- Snap closure for easy on-and-off
- Sizing is off – refer to chart
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