The Loco Notion: Aldo vs. Faber

Once again, I am back to give you, the fans, what you have all not been asking for…my opinion on the Aldo vs Faber card last night.

Tyler Toner v Brandon Visher

I’d love to comment on this fight, but I was late due to the hotel not providing me with an iron, and therefore, having to wait until one of the staff could bring me one. I can’t roll out in wrinkles. From what I hear it was a quick fight, so I’m bummed I missed it. But I’d be more bummed if I didn’t look dapper. And so would you.

Rani Yahya v Takeya Mizugaki

I’ve used the term Spider Monkey to describe a lot of people (my mother, my best friend, Charlie Sheen) but no one personifies it better than Rani Yahya. You know that dude from Bloodsport jumping around on all fours? That’s him. But Rani has decided to add strikes to his repertoire. Not clean, crisp strikes…but strikes nonetheless. However, there is only one way to neutralize a spider monkey, and that is a Mizugaki. Miz gets the unanimous decision victory.

Chad Mendes v Anthony Morrison

Chad Mendes, Chad Mendes, Chad Mendes. All I heard this week. Don’t miss the Mendes fight, etc and so forth. Well you know what, I got here early enough to make sure I didn’t miss it. (It also helped that the guy he is fighting is named Cheesesteak…who doesn’t wanna see a cheesesteak fight?) Well, those people are lucky they were right, because I got a bum knee and don’t feel like fighting 50 people from Sacramento. Mendes came out, got his distance down, and then decided screw it, I’m gonna choke him really fast. So that’s what he did.

Brad Pickett v Demetrious Johnson

I said from the beginning that if this fight went the full 3 rounds, I would buy Matt from Heavy a new pair of Seven jeans.Unfortunately for me, Brad and Demetrious didn’t know that I don’t like spending $200+ on jeans, let alone losing a bet to Matt of all people. However, this fight was worth losing $200 on (nothing is worth losing a bet to Matt). Talk about your back and forth, great stand up and fantastic take down battle. These 2 guys put on a show for the Sacramento crowd, it’s a shame someone had to lose. Brad got the victory, but neither of these guys have to worry about job security. Awesome fight.

Alex Karalexis v Anthony Pettis

Karalexis stated earlier this week that he wanted to fight Donald Cerrone because he didn’t think he was that good, etc…Well, Pettis obviously isn’t Cerrone, because after chopping down Alex’s lead leg, he then slapped on a triangle for the submission victory. So according to MMA Math (which is the most accurate theory out there next to the Theory of Relativity and the Madden NFL video game cover curse), I just saved the WEC from having Pettis face Cerrone, since he would beat him before he even got to the ring. You’re welcome, WEC. Just doing my part.

Chan Sung Jung vs Leonard Garcia

I had the over/under on punches that Leonard would throw in this fight at 846. And that’s just in the first round. To be honest, I should have picked the over. This fight was like Bonnar vs Griffin 2…I don’t mean their second fight, I mean this is the second coming of their first fight on the Ultimate Fighter finale many moons ago. I got lucky and had Leonard’s unofficial coach behind me “Take ’em down, dog! Roundhouse, dog!” Evidently that was enough to put Leonard over the edge, as he got the split decision victory.

Antonio Banuelos vs Scott Jorgensen

I called this to be one of the fights of the night, but now I feel like that would be a slap in the face to Sung Jung and Garcia. Upon watching this fight, I learned one thing…both Jorgensen and Banuelos are shorter than each other. How that works, I don’t know. While this wasn’t fight of the night, it was still a solid battle. Jorgensen just proved to be too much for Banuelos, scoring the unanimous decision victory. Banuelos could have benefited from Leonard Garcia’s unofficial coach from earlier.

Shane Roller v Anthony Njokuani

Roller, a wrestler, wanted to take Njokuani, a striker, down. Weird. It evidently was a good plan. Roller took him down, took his back, slapped on a body triangle and after a bit of a struggle, managed to secure the rear naked choke. Fun fact: Not one punch was thrown. Another fun fact: Solid jiu jitsu was booed. Nice!

Manny Gamburyan v Mike Brown

Either Sacramento hates Manny Gamburyan, or they appreciate anyone who beats their boy Urijah Faber, because Mike Brown got a heck of an ovation (Not counting the drunk dude behind me constantly screaming obscenities at him, of course). Sactown’s “Let’s go Brown! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP” lasted a solid 5 seconds. That’s mostly because Manny took his block off and won the crowd over. So, MMA MATH again. Beat the guy who beat the hometown guy….GET CHEERED LIKE CRAZY. Write that down.

Ben Henderson v Donald Cerrone

Is there anything hotter than watching Ben vs Donald while sitting next to a woman with a giant knee brace on and a huge dip in her mouth? The answer is yes, everything is hotter than that. I was focused so much on little Miss Skoal’s ensemble that I almost missed Ben’s lighting fast guillotine. I definitely did not see that one coming, and apparently, neither did Cowboy.

Jose Aldo v Urijah Faber

I’ve watched Survivorman. I’ve watched Man vs Wild. I’ve watched “Taken” with Liam Neeson…I think Urijah Faber whoops them all in the toughness factor. Jose Aldo is a phenom, no doubt. I don’t know who can beat him. But what I do know is that Faber answered the bell when he could barely walk, was stuck in a crucifix for over a minute and refused to give up. I want my children to be like Urijah Faber.

Just taller.