“The Voice versus Mayhem, this is so cool. You know I didn’t watch the Rogan special. I heard a lot about it but I didn’t watch it deliberately because I didn’t want to spoil this experience. I don’t know if you’re asking me anything similar but I wanted this to be a unique experience so I’ll watch it afterward because, like, I hear it was freakin’ awesome, but I haven’t watched it yet because I want it all to be a surprise. So what are you gonna ask me? Ha! You can’t tell me that! That wouldn’t be a surprise now would it!”
I usher Mayhem to reception and introduce him to Judith. She sits him in the high chair and places an apron around Mayhem’s neck when Chris enters with a panicked look and calls Judith and myself into the gym.
“We have a slight problem to do with the lighting,” says Chris. “The skylight is causing headaches so we’re going to have to erect a canopy over the two of you. It’s nothing to get alarmed about but we will need some more time.”
“What do you want us to do?” asks Judith.
“Stall,” says Chris. “Just stall Mayhem until we’re ready. We’ve booked the gym for a couple of hours and then the students will start coming in so we’ve got to get through this as quick as we can, but right now we just need you to stall. Is that cool?”
Judith nods. She’s a talker and by the stories she tells I’m betting she’s stalled some of Hollywood’s best and biggest over the years.
“Easy,” she says. “I don’t know much about this Mayhem so I will get to know him. He seems like a cool guy.”
“Told you,” I butt in.
“Oh, this will be so much fun.”
Half an hour later and having undergone what was surely the longest make up session of his life, Mayhem enters the gym where the set is finally lit to perfection. He takes a seat opposite me and plays Angry Birds on his i-phone while his lapel microphone is attached.
“This thing gets so freakin’ hard after a while.”
“Oh man, I love Angry Birds,” I say. “I just got into it.”
“I have been playing for ages,” says Mayhem. “I think I started the Angry Birds craze. Well, I mean, maybe not started it but I think I sure contributed to it. How much time have we got?”
“We’re about to start now,” I say.
“Oh, shit! Well in that case…” he switches off his phone and flings it to the floor.
“Can you hold off the addiction for the next hour?” I ask.
“I think so. How does my make up look?”
“Fine,” I answer. “How is mine?”
“Sexy mate,” he says, feigning an Australian accent. “Man, I tell you what, that make up lady is nice but damn can she talk!”
I glance at Chris and we both smile, trying not to laugh. Mayhem spies the bag of props nearby but its zipped up and he can’t see what’s inside.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Props,” I grin.
“What props? Nobody told me about props!”
“You will see.”
“Schiavello you’re crazy, man. What the… I mean… I don’t know what to expect. You’re crazy.”
“Takes a crazy man to interview a crazy man,” I say and turn to Chris. “We ready to do this.”
“Cameras?”
“Camera one, hot,” says the first camera operator.
“Two hot,” says the second camera operator.
“Three hot,” says the third.
“We’re rolling. On your queue Michael.”
“You ready?” I ask Mayhem.
“To be interviewed by The Voice? Of course! I think so!”
“The way I see it, we survived a record eight hour long Dynamite broadcast together and kicked some serious ass on it. This will be a walk in the park, right?”
He nods. “This is going to be fun!”
“Let’s do this.”
Over the next 90 minutes we discuss topics ranging from Mayhem’s nomadic childhood to living out of his van; trying his hand at stand-up comedy to landing the hosting role on MTV’s Bully Beatdown and his favorite beatdown moments. We chat about fantasy matches against a number of opponents including Anderson Silva, Wanderlei Silva and Yoshihiro Akiyama, who it’s decided is simply too sexy for Mayhem to ever fight. I play a game of “knock out, choke out, wedgie or bowl of friend shrimp” and we talk about the infamous Strikeforce Brawl in Nashville which I recreate in unique fashion that takes Mayhem complete by surprise, particularly with my recreation of the Diaz Brothers and Jake Shields.
When Chris gives us the wind up, it’s a shame as Mayhem and I have so much more to talk about.
“That was so much fun,” he says, taking off his microphone. “I can’t believe some of the stuff you pulled out!”
“Oh man, that was so funny. Really good stuff brother, really, really good.”
“I know I’m no Joe Rogan but–”
“You’re Mayhem,” I say and shake his hand. “Wouldn’t want you to be anyone else.”