The Loco Notion: UFC 110 Picks and Pleadings

G’day mates! See, that’s what I would be saying if I were going to UFC 110. However, I decided not to, because sitting on a plane for 18 hours to go to a country that has co-ed bathrooms just didn’t seem appealing. Heck, by minute 42 of a 45 minute flight to Vegas I’m ready to start screaming and running up and down the aisle. And as a tip, don’t do that in a plane. It’s why I can’t fly Delta anymore.

Mirko “Cro Cop” vs Ben Rothwell

For some reason, the UFC still allows Mirko to use his nickname and not his real last name, which I think is a bad move. If anything, they need to introduce Mirko Filipovic as Cro Cop’s cousin, so that way the fans might be interested again. The legend that is Cro Cop only has seven losses in his career. Three are in the UFC and he squeaked by with a win against Al Turk after he Kevin Burns’d him. (Google Kevin Burns and Anthony Johnson…sheesh, do I have to do everything?) The myth and luster and appeal and sexiness that once was Cro Cop is gone. Instead, we have a man who is afraid to pull the trigger, looks uninspired, and is a shell of his old self. (Hey, just like Marlon Brando) So the UFC figured the best way to get Cro Cop back into the mix was put him against someone who will stand and trade with him. However, let’s not count out one thing…Ben Rothwell has a ridiculously good chin, which is connected to a crazily hard head. I’m pretty sure Cain Velasquez still has bruises on his knuckles from Ben’s domepiece.

My prediction? Cro Cop gets tired of hitting Rothwell halfway into round two and quits, then tells everyone he’ll be back better than ever, and then we’ll never hear from him again. He’ll probably resurface next year at a Japanese pro wrestling event where he dumps a bucket of eels over a girl’s head while she is wearing a schoolgirl outfit made out of rice paper.

Keith Jardine vs Ryan Bader

Call it a personal bias, but after Keith Jardine told me I asked him a stupid question, I kinda hoped that Ryan Bader would smash him. Remember Keith, there’s no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people. Wait…I think that sentence means I’m stupid. Regardless, my questions aren’t stupid, I am. Take that, Keith! Jardine is coming off two losses, which makes any fighter dangerous. But, a desperate Jardine is still going to have trouble with the absolute monster that is Bader. Amazing wrestler, and looks great with his shirt off. Can’t believe I typed that. I mean, I say that all the time in public, but it’s weird to type it. Keith does have the benefit of training with some absolutely phenomenal wrestlers, but Bader has the benefit of never telling me I asked a stupid question. ADVANTAGE: BADER

Joe Stevenson vs George Sotiropoulos

If Joe Daddy is one of those guys that continues to fly a bit under the radar, then George Sotiropoulos is flying so far under the radar, his neighbors are groundhogs. (Get it, because they live underground. So George is really low. Nevermind.) He is undefeated in the UFC, and his Jiu Jitsu game is constantly evolving thanks to Eddie Bravo over at 10th Planet. However, this will be George’s toughest test to date. I suggest George follows BJ Penn’s game plan and try to make Joe Daddy bleed to unconsciousness. Who can forget seeing that stream of blood fly from Stevenson’s head as BJ choked him out? Well, I’m sure Joe can forget. As a matter of fact, I’m sure he did. All that blood loss has to mess with your memory. Hell, I cut my finger making guacamole and I black out. Where were we? Oh yeah, Joe Daddy should win this fight…but it’s the UFC and it’s in Land Down Under town, and after seeing the UFC 109 results, anything can happen. Sooo…George via foot stomps.

Wanderlei Silva vs Michael Bisping

Let’s quickly run down the list of people who like Michael Bisping. Michael Bisping. His parents. Possibly his kids. Maybe his girlfriend. When even your home country of England kinda goes “Meh” when they see you, that’s not a good sign. While Bisping did rebound from getting nearly decapitated by Henderson with a win over Denis Kang, I’m still not impressed. Wanderlei says he’s back to the old Wanderlei, which means Bisping will hopefully go back to the old Bisping who fought against the new Henderson. Read that sentence again, I promise it makes sense. There may be the added pressure on Silva, since the whole world will be watching and hoping for a KO, but this is Wanderlei SIlva here. Wanderlei against a bear? Wandy. Wanderlei against a shark? Wandy. Wanderlei against a bear and a shark? Well, now you’re just talking stupid. (That was for you, Keith!)

Wanderlei by KO, 4 seconds into round 1 (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

Antonio Minotauro Nogueira vs Cain Velasquez

The Mexican in me is telling me to root for Cain. However, the Mexican in me is also too lazy to type out why (I’m part Mexican, it’s okay, I can stereotype). Nogueira is notorious for getting the absolute crap beat out of him, and then pulling out a victory. He’s our generation’s Sakuraba. Which is funny, because Sakuraba is our generation’s Sakuraba. Regardless, Cain can give a beating, and Nog can take a beating. Match made in heaven. I think that in the end, it’s always better to be serving out the beatings. I also think that the years of beatings will take its toll on Nog. I also think I’ve said beatings way too much. In a somewhat passing of the Olympic torch (the summer one, not the lame winter one) I see Cain getting the ref stoppage on this one…and somehow, Nog leaving the cage with his face looking better than when he walked in.

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