The Ultimate Fighter 13: Episode 5 Recap & Results

Charlie Rader is getting patched up in the back, and Brock’s on the warpath. It’s a recap from last week that ends up Len walking out while Brock is rampaging. Len brings up that Brock wasn’t even here for his fight, and now he’s walking out? Brock says Len has a chip on his shoulder. They make Len come back in and Brock says that’s what he gets for letting someone else deciding his fight. Brock says he got his ass kicked by Cain Velasquez and he takes full responsibility for that.

Brock says he wants somebody to wow him. Who is it going to be? This ends up being a pretty good pep talk. Brock says he’s not here to make friends. This is his livelihood and it’s kill or be killed.

Back at the house, Len is still complaining about Brock. He says Brock needs to grow up. He doesn’t want any negative energy when he gets a wild card slot, which I’m sure he will.

FIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT: Junior picks Mick Bowman to take on Clay Harvison. This might be a horrible mismatch.

Dana says it’s a big fight for Team Lesnar and that they need to win the fight to get back in the game and get some momentum on their side.

Time for a Team Dos Santos training session. Junior is showing how to properly throw a jab. Lew is once again trying to teach boxing, and it’s annoying Junior. Again. You’d think this guy would learn that he’s just there to teach wrestling, but apparently not.

Junior says Mick is very good at jiu-jitsu and stand-up. Mick believes he’ll pick Clay apart on the feet, which sounds about right.

Team Lesnar hits the gym to train. They honestly need subtitles for Clay, because I’m having a tough time understanding him at this point. Erik Paulson is showing Clay the finer points of a punching technique called the Launching Pad. Yeah, that looks painful. Clay firmly believes that Chris is a narc and is spying on him for the other team. They sure do have a bunch of shots of Chris standing around looking guilty, don’t they?

Later that night, Clay is still complaining about Chris. He says he’ll “straight up drag him into the street and beat his ass. I’ll break the law. I’ve been known to.” This guy is the best character on the show this season, and yeah, that includes Brock Lesnar.

Oh look, somebody wrote “Chris Cope Double Agent” in the sand pit. Chris acts like he has no idea what they’re talking about. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that one of the camera guys wrote that.

Len shows everyone how to make Smores. Chris decides to get everything out in the open. He asks if they believe he’s a narc, and of course, nobody admits it. Chris says he’s a man of integrity. Clay says he’ll take Chris at face value. They really needed a hook for this season, didn’t they? Might be time to change up the game.

Of course, the rest of them obviously still don’t trust him, because they’re chatting like school girls up in the bedroom. Chris blames Tony for the sand writing, and Tony takes major offense. I mean, major offense. Tony wants to fight. The rest of them think it’s absurd that he would call Tony a liar (even though he didn’t call Tony a liar) because Tony keeps to himself and doesn’t bother anyone. Tony says he doesn’t like it when people come at him like that and it would have been a different story on the street. They should have UFC fights on the street instead of in the cage because it sounds like they’d be way more often.

Clay had his brother’s ashes put into the ink used for his tattoos. Yeah, that’s awesome. And creepy. But mostly cool.

Mick admits to writing the sand message. He says it was only meant to be a bit of fun, but apparently the other team isn’t taking it that way. He says he can’t wait to fight and he’ll die before he loses this fight.

FIGHT DAY

Brock says there’s no way Mick can beat Clay. Erik reminds Clay about the launching pad. I suspect we’ll see some of that move during the fight.

I’ll just say it now: I love Mick’s accent. It’s bad ass, and that’s all there is to it.

CLAY HARVISON vs. MICK BOWMAN

Clay runs to the cage. He’s excited. He says it’s going to be a fun fight and the fans will love it. I’m not sure they’ll love the ending, though, and that’s coming from a guy with a strong stomach.

Mick says he’s never been to a decision and he’ll basically walk in there and try to punch his opponent’s head off.

Here we go.

ROUND 1: Clay opens up by advancing quickly with punches. Both guys look very comfortable in there, but Clay more so than Mick. Yeah, Clay’s movement is much better overall. Clay stuffs a Mick takedown attempt and then lands a few shot from standing guard. He falls into the guard but not before Mick can land a few guard attempts. Mick nearly gets a triangle and then an omoplata. Yeah, his jiu-jitsu is on a different level than Clay’s here. Clay lands a huge right hand that staggers Mick, then stuffs another takedown attempt. This is not how I envisioned this fight going at all. Clay suddenly looks pretty tired and he’s not moving like he did to start the round. He still has enough energy to land those punches while pressing forward, though. Both guys are fairly inactive for the final two minutes of the fight with neither guy gaining much of an advantage. HeavyMMA.com scores the round 10-9 for Clay.

ROUND 2: I want a shirt with Brock’s picture on the front and BUDDY written on the back. That would be nice. Clay lands a big right hand and keeps on coming forward. He is utterly drilling Mick every time with those things. They clinch against the cage with Clay controlling the action. Mick lands a big right elbow and then separates. They slug it out in the center. Clay is tired now and getting picked apart because he can’t keep his hands up. Mick is energized by this news and keeps pressing forward with leg kicks. Clay’s really gassed now but he manages to hit the launching pad. Nice work, kid. Big elbow from Mick to close out the round. Mazagatti tells both guys to be ready for another round. Keith Kizer says the fight is over, however. Huh? That was clearly a round apiece for both guys. At least the judges prove they’re not just stupid while on pay per view and live fight broadcasts. They’re stupid here as well. I’m already ranting and I haven’t even heard the decision yet.

Clay says he jammed up his finger pretty bad, but he wasn’t going to quit.

Official decision: Clay Harvison by unanimous decision.

Brock says he’s excited to get the big win. Mick is crying in his locker room and Junior is telling him to put his head up high and accept the loss. Mick says he doesn’t ever want to feel like that again and he hopes Dana gives him another shot. I suspect he will.

And now Clay gets his gloves cut off and OH MY GOD THAT IS DISGUSTING. Yeah, that’s a horrible broken pinky. The bone is sticking out of the skin. It’s a compound fracture. Dana says he’s out and the doctor agrees. His season is over. It’s no problem, though. A fight like that will earn you another chance with Dana whenever you’re healed, and Clay will be back.

That was gross.

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