Is there any better feeling than going down to the record store and coming out with an armload of music? I mean, aside from making love to a supermodel on top of a mountain of puppies? Here’s the new releases for this week.
Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson – Break Up. Oh, man, Scarly Jo. So hot, so pretentious. Here you are dipping your toes into the world of music once more, with a short album of cuts recorded three years ago in a garage with troubadour Pete Yorn. Let’s just be frank here, if you locked me in a garage with Scarlett Johansson, the result would not be released on CD. DVD maybe. If you know what I’m saying, which is that we would have sex.
Raekwon – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Part II. You can say one thing for the Wu-Tang Clan – they don’t mind treading old ground. As the Staten Island posse has faded farther and farther into irrelevance, anime soundtracks and other tomfoolery, it’s easy to forget that their 1990s heyday was amazing. 14 years after the Chef’s solo album, he’s dropping a sequel. This sucker has been waiting to come out since 2006, and from what I’ve heard it’s worth the wait.
Rodrigo y Gabriela – 11:11. You know what’s awesome? Playing the guitar really freaking fast. This Mexican duo met in a thrash metal band and decided that they could shred far better with no drums or bass slowing them down. Their Led Zep and Metallica covers made them YouTube sensations, and this looks to be another great record.
Phish – Joy. The new record from America’s worst-smelling rock band will bring pleasure to the hearts of dirty hippies and retailers of special mushrooms the country over. You know exactly what to expect from this: bluesy, jammy noodling for overtanned crystal cowboys to do that weird arms up in the air dance to. If you have sex to this record, there is something wrong with your brain and you’re going to wake up in a shed somewhere with a Confederate flag for a roof.
Amerie – In Love & War. She’s hot, the first single’s banging, but summer’s over, baby – you gotta drop this kinda stuff when the Jeep tops go down. Nobody wants to listen to this stuff when you’re digesting Thanksgiving dinner. Better luck next time.
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