NYC Mayor Bloomberg Says No to Free Vibrators, Leaves Thousands of Women Unfulfilled

Trojan Pleasure Cart

Mayor Bloomberg is out of control. First he came for the Big Gulp and I said nothing because I find 7-11s sticky. Then he came for the baby formula and I said nothing because I was not a baby. Now he’s coming for our sex toys (pun INTENDED).

Seriously, doesn’t Michael Bloomberg have anything better to do? There aren’t any bigger problems in all of New York City? This is what he has to spend his time on?

Trojan, the country’s most famous condom company, had planned on a promotion to distribute 10,000 vibrators in Manhattan out of what it called “Pleasure Carts.” It had already given out over 400 vibrators in two hours, when an unidentified New York City official shut the event down. Where does he get off? Apparently not on a vibrator.

The city has claimed that this was due to a permit issue.

I don’t think the hundreds of people still waiting in line when the city shut down the giveaway agree.

“I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” — Linda Postell.

“Bloomberg doesn’t want anyone to have fun. You can’t have a giant soda. You can’t have a vibrator.” — Melody Henry, bar owner from Park Slope.

The end result is Bloomberg leaving hundreds, maybe thousands of the city’s denizens unfulfilled.

Bloomberg, Bubi, denying your people sexual release is now way to win their favor. What is it about people having a good time that causes you such outrage?

In Singapore they’re encouraging their people to have sex! Do you really want to be worse than Singapore?

Bloomberg might be the biggest party pooper of all time.

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