Chris Brown and Mob Wife Drita D’Avanso: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know

The New York Post is reporting that femdom’s favorite face-smasher, Chris Brown, has been seeking advice from Mob Wives star Drita D’Avanso, in the unlikeliest of relationships. As if Holly-weird couldn’t get any stranger, here’s 10 things you should know about this tandem of female terrorists.

1. They Met at W.I.P, the Same Club Drake Slashed Brown’s Face Open.

Earlier this summer, the two hip-hop/R&B stars slugged it out, along with their respective crews, in a melee that involved bottles being thrown around like an NBA Championship locker room party. Chris Brown’s girlfriend at the time, Karrueche Tran (more on her later) suffered a concussion and Brown, himself, received a nice gash upon his chin. A handful of others were also injured in the brawl, many of whom are currently suing the two stars for inciting the fiasco.

2. D’Avanso Was Actually There the Night of the Brawl.
In an interview with Page Six, Drita confirmed that she was there the night of the bottle heaving, hanging out with Brown and fellow “Golem-armed” diva, Mary J. Blige. But, when Drita sensed something violent was about to go down, she high-tailed it out of there.

3. Brown is a Huge Fan of Mob Wives

The reason that this relationship began? Chris loves Mob Wives, and why wouldn’t he? As a working woman-beater, one has to stay atop the latest advances in removing a woman’s make-up with balled fists. His love for the show is more fundamental research than entertainment fodder.

4. Brown is Seeking Relationship Advice From Drita
God, I’m getting sick just from typing this. Who better to get relationship advice from, other than a woman whose significant other has been jailed twice? Drita has exhibited fantastic judgment in choosing a partner, and she should probably start her own service focused on proper etiquette during conjugal visitations, but doling out relationship advice to a criminally charged woman abuser? That seems a bit over her head. As for the reason Brown needs advice…

5. Brown Recently Released a Video Detailing His Love For Two Women

Being the second coming of Ike Turner isn’t easy, and Brown recently released this video of himself detailing, drunkenly, his love for the two women in his life: Rihanna and purported ex, Karrueche Tran. The balls on this guy. First you beat the s*** out of a pop-starlet, apologize not for your actions but the “situation” in which it occurred, then have the gumption to produce, and I mean highly produce, a promo professing your love for these two extremely confused women. The best line of the vid? “You know…I don’t wanna hurt either, either or.” Apparently he’s speaking solely on the grounds of emotional pain, because as we all know, inflicting physical pain is one of his specialties.

6. Drita is a “Street Girl”…Whatever That Means
In the same interview with Page Six, concerning her relationship with Brown, Drita stated:

“I met Chris at W.i.P. He was a fan of the show. Two nights after that I went again. I’m a street girl, and I’ve known guys who have no problem throwing down. I have instincts. I throw down, too.”

So basically, Drita, with her history of befriending and marrying violent types—herself one of those violent types—recognized the tension mounting in the club between Drake and Brown that fateful night, and decided to skate out of there, pronto. Because that’s what “street girls” do. They run from “street stuff.” The hypocrisy of this entire situation is sickening.

7. The Two are Infamous for Hitting Women
We all know what Chris Brown did to Rihanna the night of the Grammy’s a few years back, but if you’re not a fan of VH1 reality shows concerning bitter wives of mobsters, here’s a refresher on just what it is that Drita likes to do on her spare time. Hint: it involves beating the crap out of women.

8. Apparently, They Don’t “Talk Every Day”
Drita has stated that she and Chris do not speak everyday, which is akin to saying, “We just speak every other day.” It’s obvious she doesn’t want to let loose on just how much advice she’s divulging to Brown when it comes to covering up knuckle calluses.

9. Drita Doesn’t Really Want to Speak Much On Their Relationship
The Mob Wives’ star cut short her correspondence with Page Six when pressed for further information on their conversations, because, really, her publicist probably told her to shut the f*** up, which is great advice, as professing your relationship with a convicted woman beater is not the best thing for your image.

10. Rihanna Is An Idiot

Underpinning all of this is the fact that Rihanna, the mega pop-star whose face was left more swollen than Big Ang’s (another ‘Mob Wife’) lips—courtesy of Brown’s vicious attack—is back with the man who did the deed. To that I say: you get what you ask for, stupid. I hope he doesn’t use your face for a speed bag this time around, but if he does, well, the world told you so.