Whatcha Gonna Do? When Hulkamania Has Sex On Video With You? Joining the ranks of Tommy Lee, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, Hulk Hogan has been elevated from wrestling has-been to Internet sex star. A new video was unleashed online today of the 59-year-old Hogan having sex with a woman, being secretly filmed. TMZ first reported the tape’s existence back in March, and it’s turned into reality today. Here’s what you need to know.
1. Hogan’s Sex Partner is the Ex-wife of his Friend Bubba Love
This isn’t some chick Hogan picked up while signing boobs at a Hooters, she’s the ex-wife of his good friend and Tampa radio host Bubba The Love Sponge. Her name is Heather Clem, and she’s pretty damn hot. So the mystery remains as to what effect this sex tape will have on the friendship between Hogan and the Love Sponge. Even though they had a pretty heavy divorce this year, the Sponge and Clem are believed to still be close.
2. Hogan is Currently Married
Everybody knows that Hogan and his marriage to the mother of his children, Linda, has been over for some time, but did anyone else know that he got remarried? Well he did, in 2009, to 35-year-old Jennifer McDaniel, a friend of his daughter. The sex tape isn’t dated, so it’s difficult to gauge who’s cheating on whom.
3. There’s a Mystery Man in the Room
The weirdest thing in the tape, okay one of the weirdest things on the tape is the “mystery man,” who tells Hogan and Clem to “Do their thing”. He leaves, and when Hogan leaves at the end of the tape, Clem tell hims to go to the “office to see him.” Not to mention the fact that Hogan is wearing a “Bubba The Love Sponge” T-shirt — classy.
4. Hogan has a Ridiculous Tan Line
When the former world champion undresses it takes a moment to realize for certain, but yes, the Hulkster has a fetching thong tan line around his ass. Seeing this has destroyed my childhood memories. This is the man for whom I cheered so loudly during Wrestlemania VI?
5. Hogan’s Ring Tone is His Daughter’s Song
While in the middle of pleasuring Mrs. Love Sponge, Hogan takes a time out to answer his phone. His ringtone is one of his daughter’s amazing hit songs [sic]. The only reason he breaks is because he thinks it might be “Nick,” his son who spent time in prison after a dangerous driving incident in 2008. When he sees who it is, “F*ck no” is his answer. It was probably Vince McMahon.
6. Hogan Has a 14-Inch Python
For a man who has probably taken more steroids than a 14-year-old North Korean gymnast, Hogan has another python to add to the two on his arms. The man looks like he could pleasure a female elephant.
7. Hogan Was Going to Meet His Son Afterward
Another rumor making the rounds is that Hogan and his son were at one point dating a couple of identical twins, something the Hulkster alludes to when telling his sex partner what he’s up to for the rest of the evening. So let’s hope Hogan was heading straight from this sex session to another four-ball session with his young son.
8. Hogan is Pursuing Legal Action Against the Tape
Hogan’s not happy about the tape, calling it a “gross invasion of privacy” that he was filmed in secret and gave no consent. This was enough to scare off the noted pornographers of Vivid Entertainment, who claim to have been offered the tape prior to its release online.
9. Hogan’s Ex-Wife Claims the Woman is Her “Best Friend”
This is a real kicker. Hogan’s wife of many years, Linda, claims that Heather Clem is her best friend. Eh, what? The Hogans and the Love-Sponges certainly to have a strange way of practicing their friendship.
10. Hogan Practices Safe-Sex
At several junctures during the love-making Hogan ensures that his “rubber” is still on. And the bit when they’re finished and Clem carries his juice-filled condom away like she’s putting a dirty sock in the hamper is one of the cringiest things that has ever existed.
If you feel like you can stomach watching the video, here’s a link to it, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.
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