Tide Detergent Thefts Rise as Drug Dealers Prefer it to Cash

tide theft

The days of drug dealers only accepting cash and sexual favors are over!

Tide laundry detergent has become the new currency on the streets. Who knew drug dealers and addicts were fanatical about clean clothes?

In March of last, various news sources reported that a “grime wave” was sweeping the nation, and a man was caught stealing upwards of $25,000 worth of Tide over a 15-month period near Minneapolis.

Then, during a drug raid in the home of a suspected Washington drug dealer, they found numerous large bottles of Tide lining his shelves, in addition to his cocaine stash.

Now, an investigation launched in Maryland has gained some insight into the sudden rise in theft of the bright orange plastic jugs. The brand is so popular that despite economic uncertainty, people are unwilling to not buy Tide. The prestige that comes with washing your clothes with Tide is not something people are prepared do without!

Proctor and Gamble’s marketing director Sundar Raman told New York Magazine that it’s “unfortunate” that people are stealing Tide, but he is reminded “that the value of the brand has stayed consistent.” In fact, Tide is so popular that a 150-ounce bottle sells for about $20, which is 50 percent more than the average liquid detergent, yet consistently outsells its competitors.

That same 150-ounce bottle goes for either $5 cash or $10 worth of weed or crack cocaine. Drug dealers take the detergent and then sell it to local retailers for less than wholesale prices. It’s low risk, high reward as stealing detergent has a mild penalty if caught, with shoplifting typically resulting in a small fine and no jail time.

So addicts don’t need to mug or kill people for cash, the dealer can double his profit, and the retailer gets Tide for cheap. Not to mention that Tide is now referred to as “liquid gold.” It’s basically win-win.

tide theft cartoon

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