Now, most of us are fortunate enough to have started the whole social network thing when we were fairly mature. For that reason, we don’t post or share things that are offensive and painful. Don’t fret if you are cursed with this skill, embarrassing yourself need not be relegated to those times when you drink too much; making tragically shameful facebook posts, tweets, and reddit comments is very much a learnable skill. Here’s 22 methods for those of you looking to get on the ball.
1. Use Photoshop to make it appear like you can do things you really can’t.
Key Point: Don’t pay close attention to details, they’re what give away how cool you really are.
2. Encourage your parents to hit on you on Facebook.
Key Point: Make sure they use incredibly loaded awkward words like “hot,” “banging,” or “sexy.”
3. Pose with your favorite energy drink in a sweet-ass selfie!
Key Point: Half-grin like you’re an aborigine who knows part of his soul is being taken away by the picture for max awesome.
4. Ask for a ridiculous number of likes in exchange for sex.
Key Point: Aim for a number that’s a reasonable quarter as many likes as the most liked facebook post of all time. Totally gonna happen, man.
5. Put an unbelievably hot girl who’s airbrushed to the teeth in all your pictures.
Key Point: Don’t look happy or anything, people will definitely know it’s fake then.
6. Get a tattoo of the hit pop song of the moment.
Key Point: Make sure it’s one of those songs that is so played to death, it actually makes people angry after awhile.
7. Get a tattoo in your grandma’s penmanship that only you know says “I love you.”
Key Point: Remember, you’re the one who knows what it really says.
8. Tell lies about Zach Braff where he might see them.
Key Point: Make sure it’s based off as close to nothing as possible.
9. Pose with your exhaustive collection of Axe Bodyspray.
Key Point: Give a dead stare to the camera. The Axe says everything that needs to said.
10. Get a Nickelback tattoo.
Key Point: Get a Nicelback tattoo.
11. Slowly Photoshop yourself turning into a cow.
Key Point: Look at your hands all like “hey, wait, what?”
12. Um, wait is this guy seriously photoshopping himself turning into a cow?
Key Point: Please stop. This has gone too far.
13. I’m quitting the internet.
Key Point: Dude, your udders look like a horrible ballsack.
14. Finish Photoshopping yourself turning into a cow.
Key Point: It’s not worth it by any stretch, but the final product is apparently the least unpleasant of the process to see.
15. Take a selfie where you show your bum off.
Key Point: Make sure your cheeks are significantly less tan than the rest of your body for maximum effect.
16. Make up your own quotes about womanhood.
Key Point: Avoid proper spelling or original thinking.
17. Show off your new jeans cut up to look like socks.
Key Point: Take the picture at Wal-Mart. People love pictures of familiar places, and anyone who will be into jean-socks will definitely be familiar with Wal-Mart.
18. Make yourself anatomically impossibly RIPPED.
Key Point: Don’t settle for what people will know is fake, make yourself so buff the picture is of a literal impossibility. Don’t forget to copy and paste over anatomy basics like
19. Tell everyone how sexy being an atheist is.
Key Point: Stare in the camera emotionlessly. Remember, the sexiest people in this world are the most logical. That’s why most porn stars study philosophy in college.
20. Congratulate people for their race.
Key Point: Be happier than the people you are congratulating. This helps emphasize how little sense the gesture makes.
21. Wear a shirt with Pedo-bear (a pedophiliac bear) on public transportation.
Key Point: The internet has many memes, you really can’t go wrong wearing any one of them on a shirt out in public.
22. Put two completely contradicting ideas on a political sign.
Key Point: Tell people who to do, but at the same time, tell them “you only live once,” so do whatever you want.
23. Don’t think too hard when making comments.
Key Point: Correct yourself if you deem it necessary, but it’s already too late.
curated from cringe pics, a subreddit on reddit.com
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