Samantha Goudie, a 22-year-old University of Iowa student, recently reached twitter notoriety after blowing a .341 BAC (.4 is almost certainly death), and tweeting lightheartedly about going to jail afterward. Unfortunately, in today’s moralizing and generally awful society, she was criticized heavily. Here’s 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know about Vodka_Samm #thelegend, her story, and the fact that she is my spirit animal.
1. Samathan Goudie Boasted Under her Twitter Handle, Vodka_Samm, That She’d Been Arrested
Sam received a whole backlash of criticism just for this 19 character long twitter perfection.
Alright, fine, Sam got dangerously drunk, but the bottom line is that there’s just nothing wrong with this tweet. Sure, Sam is trivializing going to jail, but then again, she wasn’t arrested for doing anything that really mattered; Sam was grabbed by the long arm of the law after trying to jump a barricade to get onto the field during the Hawkeyes vs. Northern Illinois game according to the NY Daily News.
Yeah, bring on the moral outrage, cowards. The nation’s precious police resources were wasted on enforcing sports-based geographical boundaries. Look, I’m not saying what she did was beyond punishment, but did she really deserve to go to jail? She’s legal to drink and really, the worst thing she did was maybe almost kill herself with how much she drank. She didn’t do anything bad.
2. The .341 Blood Alcohol Content Estimate May Be on the Low End
While social media took to insulting Sam, I wish to bolster her legendary status by suggesting that her ridiculous Blood Alcohol Content reading of .341 is not necessarily representative of her peak BAC during the night. In fact, her buzz could have been on its way down as police measured it at the station after her arrest. Here, the following very scientific graph presents the argument:
3. Sam is Set to Take Her Epic Self into Social Work
At one point, Sam said she might get .341 tattooed onto her arm. Things have changed.
Yes, despite allegations that she is in fact some sort of superhuman, Sam has chosen to leave the “Vodka_Samm” lifestyle for a community-based, productive member of society focus.
She is aiming to get a master’s degree in social work. She said, “I know… how it’s hard to ask for help, I just want to help people through that process.”
4. Sam Was Interviewed After The Incident
She says that she does not want to be known as “Vodka_Samm,” and references her tattoo which says “never a failure always a lesson.”
Sam comes off as very stable, intelligent, and motivated; which only highlights the fact that she had every right to get totally blasted at a college football game.
5. Vodka_Samm (RIP) Has Been Immortalized in a Painting on Ebay; It Sold for $295
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