Damn Right I’m Rooting for the Cardinals


At this time, last year, Drew Magary gave voice to what many thought and unleashed hate on a group of people who were not expecting it (I know that sounds like U.S. foreign policy, but it actually relates to baseball, but good job linking the two, good effort).

Yes, some St. Louis baseball fans did not know how to react to the standard hate one accumulates from being good for a long period of time and forgot to check their white privilege or whatever that’s supposed to mean, and yeah, they’ve been good for a while. In fact, very good.

But if you’re gonna hate on them for that and that alone you’re just trolling and you’re doing it poorly.

If you were actually gifted enough to play for a Major League Baseball team, and money wasn’t an issue, you’d want to play for the Cardinals. The organization is smart, the fans are knowledgeable, the media isn’t miserable and your chance at winning is great.

Somehow, in the past year, rooting for the St. Louis Cardinals, which humble midwesterners think feels good and should feel good, was meant to feel bad, because a hit job was ordered and very well executed. But that’s absolute nonsense. The Cardinals win because they have smart people who run the team and, yes, they spend money, which is actually laudable and something that the rest of the owners should be SHAMED INTO ACTUALLY DOING and we shouldn’t complain about someone trying to win. If we’re actually thinking, we should be shaming organizations who don’t care about anything other than profits, which far too many owners focus on.

I’m a lapse baseball fan that needs a reason to watch. The reason could be “Hey there’s a game on tonight, no one will complain about me having a few beers!” Or it could be genuine emotional investment. My genuine emotional investment this year is two-fold:

1) The anti-Cardinal meme is now boring me.

2) It’s actually bothering nice people.

What are you complaining about? That a mid-major team wins all the time and is vaguely passive-aggressive about being self-congratulatory about it?


Really? I’ve met St. Louis fans. They’re actually awesome. They travel like college football fans, they’re knowledgeable and friendly and people who, if they’re gonna sit next to you either at your home stadium or their own, are quite pleasant. I’ve been to Mets and Yankees home games. I’ve seen plenty of opposing fan bases schlep into New York and most are terrible, because they live in New York and are from someplace else–like 50 percent of those who live in New York–and have the worst habits of both places. Cardinals fans are the first opposing fan base that I would defend in a brawl.

I will be rooting for the St. Louis Cards for multiple reasons:

1) Loyalty (Will Leitch, dude)

2) Return on emotional investment (They Win a Bunch)

3) Slate Pitch (Your Crankiness Amuses Me Internet)

4) No real other options (I Mean, Really)

Let’s Go Cards!

Update: Cardinals Fans, You Aren’t Making This Any Easier For Me!