The 2013 Golden Globes award show, held Sunday night in Beverly Hills, was a wild ride. If you missed it, here’s what you need to know, with some key clips to catch you up on the most memorable moments.
1. Amy Poehler & Tina Fey Killed It
They basically turned the Globes into SNL. Check out their opening monologue (dialogue?) at the top of the page and another choice moment above.
2. Bill Clinton Showed Up
Surprise! The ex-prez stole the show with a guest appearance to introduce the clip of Best Motion Picture Drama nominee Lincoln. The stars were starstruck. They sprang to their feet in an instant ovation as their hero crashed the party, and many snapped cell-phone pics like teenage girls getting a glimpse of Robert Pattinson.
3. Jodie Foster Said She’s Gay — But It’s None of Your Business
Accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement, Jodie Foster made a long, memorable but confusing speech in which she teased a coming-out announcement but instead railed about her right to privacy. She acknowledged her sexuality — saying she already came out in the “stone age” — but refused to cave to public pressure and make an overt “I’m gay” reveal. And, oh yeah, she’s done acting. We think. It was hard to follow. Here’s the transcript.
4. Ben Affleck Got His Due
After being snubbed in the Oscar nominations, which failed to recognize his direction work in Argo, Affleck took home the Golden Globe win for Best Director – Motion Picture. Argo later won for Best Motion Picture Drama.
5. Claire Danes is Still Annoying
Danes — who seemed as manic as Carrie Mathison, with the wild face fluctuations to match — accepted her Globe for Best Actress in a Television Drama Series (Homeland) by reveling in how much the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is in love with her — “being so insanely generous to me … for so many years now.” Shut. Up. Claire. She’s now won four Golden Globes, including one as a teenager for My So-Called Life.
6. Anne Hathaway is Still Annoying
The only person more annoying than Claire Danes, Hathaway took home the Globe for her supporting role in Les Miserables and instinctively dove into her faux-humility flustered gambit. Almost intolerable.
7. J-Lo Was Basically Naked Again
Jennifer Lopez showed up in one of her famous “look I’m naked … no I’m sort of wearing clothes” dresses. This time it was a flesh-colored number from Zuhair Murad. Not nearly as revealing as this Versace spectacle at the 2008 Grammys:
8. Quentin Tarantino Dropped the N-Word
It happened backstage, not onstage, but Tarantino still made headlines when he uttered the forbidden N-word to reporters while discussing the controversial language in his Django Unchained — which had just taken home wins for Best Screenplay (Tarantino; see his acceptance speech above) and Best Supporting Actor (Christoph Waltz). It was also nominated for Best Picture. He also likened the modern prison system to slavery.
9. Girls Kicked Ass
Girls, the first-season HBO comedy from It-Girl writer-director-actor Lena Dunham, just 26 years old, took home prizes for Best TV Comedy or Musical and Best Actress in a TV Comedy or Musical (Dunham) — an absurdly successful debut. She’s a big deal. Meanwhile, announcing the win in Dunham’s acting category, Parks and Rec star Aziz Ansari thanked the cast of Downton Abbey for getting him stoned backstage — and then proceeded to act convincingly stoned.
10. Homeland Swept
Just as is did at the 2012 Emmys, Homeland swept the top TV categories: best show, best actor, best actress.
Below is the full list of nominees and winners (winners in bold).
Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, Argo
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Best Miniseries or Television Movie
Game Change
The Girl
Hatfields & McCoys
The Hour
Political Animals
Best TV Drama
Breaking Bad
Boardwalk Empire
Downton Abbey
Homeland
The Newsroom
Best Actor, Television Drama
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Damien Lewis, Homeland
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Best Actress, Miniseries
Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gelhorn
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Sienna Miller, The Girl
Julianne Moore, Game Change
Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals
Best Supporting Actress
Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Archie Punjabi, The Good Wife
Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Best Original Score
Mychael Danna, Life of Pi
Alexandre Desplat, Argo
Dario Marianelli, Anna Karenina
Tom Tywker, Reinhold Heil, Johnny Klimek, Cloud Atlas
John Williams, Lincoln
Best Original Song
“For You” Act of Valor
“Not Running Anymore” Stand Up Guys
“Safe and Sound” The Hunger Games
“Skyfall” Skyfall
“Suddenly” Les Miserables
Best Actor, Miniseries
Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock
Woody Harrelson, Game Change
Toby Jones, The Girl
Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gelhorn
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy
Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Maggie Smith, Quartet
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs
Best Supporting Actor
Max Greenfield, New Girl
Ed Harris, Game Change
Danny Huston, Magic City
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy
Best Screenplay
Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Chris Terrio, Argo
Best Actor, Television Comedy or Musical
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Louis C.K., Louie
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Foreign Language Film
Amour
A Royal Affair
The Intouchables
Kon-Tiki
Rust and Bone
Best Actress, Television Drama
Connie Briton, Nashville
Glenn Close, Damages
Claire Danes, Homeland
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Juliana Margulies, The Good Wife
Best Animated Feature
Brave
Frankenweenie
Hotel Transvylvania
Rise of the Guardians
Wreck-It Ralph
Best Actress, Television Comedy or Musical
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Veep
Lena Dunham, Girls
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Best Director
Ben Affleck, Argo
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Best Television Comedy or Musical
The Big Bang Theory
Episodes
Girls
Modern Family
Smash
Best Actor, Musical or Comedy
Jack Black, Bernie
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Ewan McGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson
Best Picture, Musical or Comedy
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Les Miserables
Moonrise Kindgom
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Silver Linings Playbook
Best Actress, Drama
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea
Best Actor, Drama
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Richard Gere, Arbitrage
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight
Best Picture, Drama
Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Zero Dark Thirty
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Golden Globes 2013: Top 10 Facts You Need to Know