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America’s Got Talent Premiere 2014: Top 5 Spoilers

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1. There’s a Child Genius

“According to reality, yes, I’m that smart.” Young Adrian begins the season with his piano act, and he’s something else. The kid is in the 8th grade at age 9… he skipped five grades. Ladies and gentlemen, he is a child prodigy. He says in his before-act interview with the judges that he wants to be a doctor, but can’t do that at his young age, so he decided to be a musician. Howard doesn’t believe that he’s playing without a track, so the kid plays a second song and does phenomenally. Howie finishes by saying “England has Harry Potter. We have you.”

2. Comedians, Comedians, and more Comedians

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“All you need is punchlines, and then you’ll have an act.” Howie was not happy with the comedians that took the stage before Dan…so thank goodness Dan was funny. He’s 44-years-old, and we weren’t sure if he was gonna succeed or fall on his face… he soared. He had kind of a quirky, awkward demeanor, and Howard described him as Jerry Seinfeld and Jon Lovitz’s love child. His humor was self-deprecating, but it was good enough to get him a standing ovation by the judges.

3. A Man Does a Handstand 50 Feet in the Air On Two Metal Poles

Ricardo is a 49-year-old (really fit) guy who builds a two-poled construction 30 feet high… while doing a handstand. His assistant throws him building blocks into the air. Ricardo was nearly hitting the ceiling. He must have been 50 feet high by the end, holding a handstand on top of the poles the entire time. The judges loved him, and they loved his assistant who we later learned is his son.

4. Donnie Valentino Can SING… Not

This was kind of sad. The guy thought he had a really great voice and said that God gave him a gift. It wasn’t a gift… Howie said he’d never seen anyone voted off that quickly. Heidi thought it “just didn’t sound good at all.” But the guy asked if he could keep singing to get to the high notes, and unfortunately, the high notes weren’t better. It was a bit tough to watch, cause the guy seemed to be really sweet.

5. A 93-Year-Old Man Pulls a Car with His Teeth

93-year-old Mike actually pulls a car with his teeth. And, yes, they’re his real teeth. He’s adorable, dressed in white sneakers, blue cargo shorts, and a shirt with his father’s name on it, and the camera follows him into the bathroom before his act to watch him brush his teeth. Mike explains how, during WWII, he traveled the country bending poles with his head and breaking chains with his teeth. The act had to be performed outside, so the judges and fans head on out to the middle of New York City, where good ol’ Mike does the UNTHINKABLE and ACTUALLY moves the car, occupied by his brother, his brother’s wife, and his girlfriend, by a chain that he bites on.

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