“Teen Mom OG” star Amber Portwood revealed that she secretly became pregnant two times in her new memoir, “So, You’re Crazy Too.” The first time, she had an abortion, and the second time she suffered a miscarriage.
Portwood, 31, became pregnant for the second time when she was on a break from her then-boyfriend, Gary Shirley. “I was hanging out with a heroin addict and I accidentally got pregnant,” Portwood wrote, per Hollywood Life.
The decision to terminate the pregnancy haunted Portwood, who was suffering from an opioid addiction.
“I finally had an abortion, however, it was devastating to me,” Portwood penned, according to Hollywood Life. “I was on drugs and I didn’t know what I was doing half the time… had nightmares about abandoning my unborn child. I cried uncontrollably for weeks afterward. I didn’t sleep and I lost a lot of weight.”
Portwood is the mother of two children. She shares her 13-year-old daughter, Leah, with Shirley and her 3-year-old son, James, with ex-boyfriend Andrew Glennon.
Portwood Said ‘Death’ Follows Her
When Portwood became pregnant for the third time — which was just after she was released from prison in December 2013 — the “Teen Mom 2” star was devastated by the loss.
Portwood was charged with domestic battery in November 2010 after “Teen Mom” showed Portwood attacking Shirley in August 2009 when their daughter, 1-year-old Leah, was present.
“When I miscarried after falling pregnant by a boy I dated for a few months right after prison, it shook me, even though I had no business having a baby with anyone else at that time in my life,” she wrote, per Hollywood Life.
She recalled “trying to fish the thing out of my toilet for a long time.”
“I wanted to bury it and mourn its loss but I couldn’t get to it,” Portwood penned, according to Hollywood Life. “It’s was one of those moments in my life that I replay in my head over and over: me sobbing and trying to fish something out of a toilet for some inexplicable reason. I swear death just follows me around.”
Portwood disclosed her sister died from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) when she was 5 years. Her sister’s sudden death has continued to haunt her.
“I remember that night like I’m watching a movie. Sometimes I wish she was just here, you know? Like my life would be a little bit different because I would really have to watch myself,” Portwood told Shirley during an episode of “Teen Mom OG.”
Portwood Is ‘Excited’ About Her Fans Reading Her Memoir
Since its release on February 22, 2022, Portwood has been “excited” for people to read “So, You’re Crazy Too?”
“Thank you to everyone who has ordered my book and supported me so much, you’re all such beautiful souls 💖 Excited to keep looking toward the future, it’s so bright,” Portwood wrote via Instagram on February 28, 2022.
Portwood admitted that she’s been afraid to put her story out there.
“It’s so scary to put it out into the universe, but I know my journey has been a transformative one, and I hope it can inspire others to keep moving forward,” the “Teen Mom OG” star said about her book.