The worst thing about the upcoming UFC card this Saturday is that we already know that Anderson Silva and BJ Penn are going to win. Read that sentence again. Isn’t that a terrible thing to say? But sadly, it’s the truth. Once these two juggernauts win, what is left? Anderson has a potential match up with Chael Sonnen, but that’s not gonna be an easy PPV to sell, unless Chael miraculously turns into GSP.
As for BJ, he’s damn near untouchable at 155. He’s talked about a jump to 170 again, but that GSP feller kinda hinders any plans for BJ to truly dominate at two weigh classes.
What we really need is for these guys to lose. I also need a million dollars for writing for Heavy.com. But neither of those things are going to happen. I have a better chance of awakening tomorrow with six zeros on my paycheck than Anderson and BJ dropping their belts. And the chances of that happening are slim and none, and slim just took a fight with GSP in August.
I mentioned GSP three times (now four!) in an article that wasn’t even about GSP. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, GEORGES. (GSP count: Six)
As I sit here in beautiful San Diego and continue to be bombarded by earthquakes, I can’t help but think about the rumbling that could happen if Jake Shields were to beat Dan Henderson at Strikeforce on April 17th. I mean sure, there would be rumblings just from the victory alone, but I’m using my warped Vince McMahon WWE style of thinking.
You see, Jake Shields is in the last fight of his Strikeforce contract. Dana White has expressed publicly that he would like to have Jake Shields on the roster and would start a bidding war for him so that at least Jake would get a hefty payday, even if it were from Strikeforce instead. So let’s say Jake does what many do not believe he can do, and defeats Dan Henderson. From that, we have a free agent who is Strikeforce’s middleweight title holder. Upon which, Dana White would then bid for Shields. Let’s say Dana is successful and Jake comes to the UFC.
Cue UFC 114. May 29th. Las Vegas, Nevada. The weekend of the UFC Fan Expo. Rashad Evans takes on Rampage Jackson in a highly anticipated matchup. Right before the main event, Dana White announces his new signing. In walks Jake Shields with the Strikeforce middleweight belt. All that work that Strikeforce had put into their organization, down the drain.
“IT WAS ME, AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!” -Vince McMahon reveals to Stone Cold Steve Austin that he was the “Higher Power”
Yeah, I watched wrestling as a kid, what’s it to you? I just think it would be something epic to see. When WCW signed Alundra Blayze from the WWF, she was the women’s champion and dumped the belt in the trash live on Monday Nitro. What happened after that? Well, Blayze went on to drive monster trucks, WCW went out of business, and Vince McMahaon is a gazillionaire.
Ok, now that I think about it, don’t listen to me Dana. I don’t wanna see you broke or Jake Shields driving the monster truck nicknamed “The Blanket.”
But we have another problem, Strikeforce. On the same card I just referenced, Mayhem Miller announced he would be fighting. Now, maybe the fact that he is my hetero life-mate has blurred my thought process, but the man is one of the most marketable stars in MMA and he is being relegated to undercard status with the CHANCE to be on the televised portion. That’s like inviting people over for Thanksgiving dinner and saying you MAY bust out the turkey – if there is a great enough demand for it. Does Shinya Aoki have his own MTV show? Does Gegard Mousasi have over 30k Twitter followers? Exactly.
Shape up, Strikeforce! You’re lucky I’m gracing you with my eyes during this free program.
In a promotion that I don’t know the name of and couldn’t pronounce if I did, former World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski is facing off against Tim Sylvia. One guy is a mildly popular former world champion. The other guy is Tim Sylvia. I want to care about this fight, I really do. But after seeing what Ray Mercer did to Big Tim (see below, it’s like watching a professional boxer knock out a wounded giraffe), as well as knowing the only action Timmy has had recently was punching a fat dude in the gut at Ellismania 4, makes me skeptical. That’s not even tossing in the amazing display of Pudzianowski’s mitt work (again, see below, it’s like watching a giant polish baby rhino swinging at pillows), as well as his mma debut (one last time, see below, it’s like watching a giant polish baby rhino attack a koala bear).
This is a crazy train wreck just waiting to happen. You know when promoters get that crazy look in their eye? “We’ll have you jump a 200 foot canyon while saddled to a rocket…but the rocket has baby piranhas in it that have knives strapped to them.” You don’t want to watch, but you kind of have to. At least this isn’t on Strikeforce. Heck, maybe it is. They won’t promote Mayhem Miller, how would I even know if Tim Sylvia and Giant Polish Baby Rhino (or GPBR for short) are on the card?
That’s all I got for today. New Loco Life this week, high five.
PPS. GSP (Seven!)