Steven Spielberg‘s ill-advised and often icky-creepy update to the Peter Pan legend stars Robin Williams (who else?) as a grown-up Peter, now a boring corporate lawyer with a wife and two children of his own; when his kids are kidnapped by his old adversary, Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman), and taken into Neverland, the Boy Who Could Fly has to get his youthful spirit back to rescue them. Hook is a big, bloated and oddly charmless production (not to mention long — why in the hell is this two and a half hours?) that’s kept from completely sinking by the occasional amusing character moment (most of them provided by Bob Hoskins‘ long-suffering Hook minion, Smee) and a handful of inspired flourishes from Spielberg (though, for the most part, the director seems to be on auto pilot throughout). Julia Roberts is pretty much an embarrassment as Tinkerbell, though at least her ridiculous performance doesn’t step (or fly, rather) into the realm of tastelessness — the sight of the Lost Boys finger-painting all over Williams’ shirtless body certainly does. Eww.