This is the 2002 TV movie remake that every bone in your body probably told you to steer clear of, so chances are you know close to nothing about it other than it is most certainly not Brian De Palma’s now-classic 1976 original. TV re-dos of perfectly fine Stephen King movies tend to be intolerable disasters (if you saw The Shining starring the guy from Wings, we’re so, so sorry), but the new Carrie manages to dodge that bullet and ends up being just simply pointless. You know this tune: a high school girl with telekinetic powers who’s constantly put-upon by her classmates and overprotective Jesus-freak mother finally snaps at a formal and unleashes fiery hell upon her tormentors, proving that you should never even think about pouring pig’s blood all over the prom queen. Angela Bettis has the intensity (have you seen May? Whoa!) but is at least ten years too old for the role of Carrie (and looks it); meanwhile, Patricia Clarkson makes for a considerably watered-down version of her Bible-thumping mama who wouldn’t last two seconds in the ring with Piper Laurie. There’s nothing new here except for maybe some updated special effects (and wardrobes); watch it for a few minutes strictly as a curiosity piece and then pop in your DVD of De Palma’s version.
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