Getty The moon.
Despite the recent shutdown of most major sporting events and various stay-at-home edicts from city, county and state governments to help slow the spread of COVID-19, UFC President Dana White is moving forward with UFC 249 on April 18 but has yet to reveal the location.
While fight fans wait on pins and needles for the announcement to be made, we decided to take the proactive approach of helping brainstorm some potential locations for UFC 249.
Read through our top five locations for UFC 249 below.
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1. The Past
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For this one, White would very obviously need to bring in some kind of time-traveling expert (such as Doc Brown from the “Back to the Future” movie trilogy). Once that hurdle was cleared, someone would need to do all the legwork to gather the various items needed to travel back in time (potentially things like a DeLorean, a flux capacitor and some plutonium).
Then there’s the traveling back in time to actually book an available location, and all this assumes the UFC has someone on staff that can handle this important task. That person, of course, would also need to be super careful about not running into their former self during their time traveling experience and would also need to take into account where the past versions of all fighters on the card and support staff would be during the event.
PROS: There would a live audience. Fans potentially wouldn’t have to purchase the PPV because it would have already happened in the past.
CONS: Time travel probably isn’t real. If it is real, there are likely various other risks associated with it such as potentially disappearing from existence or finding out your mom has a weird crush on you.
2. WWE Performance Center
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The WWE has already transitioned to using their performance center for their RAW and Smackdown shows and has plans to use it for Wrestlemania 36. So it could make sense for White to approach the WWE about renting out or sharing that space in Orlando, Fla.
PROS: This site is currently hosting various WWE events so the UFC card could probably go off without a hitch. All that would really need to happen would be replacing the square ring with the octagon. It’s a real place (not fictional).
CONS: It’s very likely the arena could go dark mid-match at some point and the theme for the Undertaker would drop. Sure, UFC fighters enter their fights with a strategy for their scheduled opponent, but what are they supposed to do when the Undertaker uses some kind of special magic to suddenly appear behind them so he can chokeslam them to the ground? Additionally, if any UFC fighter had a best friend, that person will surely be their enemy by the end of the night. This is just standard in the WWE, so everyone with the UFC would want to consider what they’re getting ready to go through with their best friend in that kind of environment. Finally, the University of Central Florida is also in Orlando, so the whole UCF/UFC thing could be super confusing for some locals.
3. Dunder Mifflin Warehouse
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Why not use the Dunder Mifflin warehouse in Scranton, Pa.? It seems to have tall ceilings and plenty of space for an octagon, and the stairwell seems perfect for the walk to the cage. Plus, there would be no rows of empty seats on camera giving viewers at home that gaping, empty feeling some closed sets offer.
PROS: Fighters would get some serious support from Kelly Kapoor and possibly a date for the next night. There would also be no real need for fighters to prepare their own music for their walk to the cage because Darryl Philpin could take care of that with his keyboard.
CONS: The Office is fictional, so if UFC 249 took place there it would also be fictional. Moreover, The Office hasn’t even been on TV since 2012, so UFC 249 would be both fictional and also require some kind of time travel (See No. 1). Finally, if all those things could be sorted out, every time Joe Rogan said “rear-naked chokehold” Michael Scott would giggle uncontrollably.
4. Bruce Lee’s ‘Game of Death’ Pagoda
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Dana White could procure the pagoda from the popular martial arts film “Game of Death”. In one of Bruce Lee’s last films, he took on various levels of opponents on each level of this pagoda. This location would very unique and be unlike any other UFC event ever.
PROS: This house is an icon of martial arts allowing fighters to honor the memory of Bruce Lee, thus motivating them to have the best fight of their lives. Additionally, former LA Lakers center Kareem Abdul Jabbar might be one of the levels as might be movie star/Karate expert Chuck Norris.
CONS: Instead of fighting in a single match, fighters would have to fight several in one evening. Also, opponents might have weapons UFC fighters are not accustomed to dealing with in their typical matches. For example, nunchucks and swords would likely be a serious hurdle for any UFC fighter today (though it would also put the “ultimate” in the Ultimate Fighting Championship). Additionally, Lee’s Pagoda is also fictional and from a 1979 movie that wasn’t even completed until six years after his death in 1973. Obviously, that causes all sorts of various complexities.
5. The Moon
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Our final suggestion for the location of UFC 249 is Earth’s moon. Changing the environment completely for sporting events that usually have a live audience is a great choice. This way TV viewers completely let go of viewing expectations and are open to a brand new experience.
PROS: The moon is not fictional and/or won’t require time travel. The UFC staff and fighters would get to go to the moon. I mean, that’s a pretty big accomplishment for anyone, and this trip would go down as work travel for them.
CONS: This would cost a ton of money. Moreover, the 5-minute limit for rounds may only be enough time for one move on your opponent as the lack of gravity slows everything way down. There’s also the full spacesuit needed due to the lack of oxygen and low/high temperatures. That would seriously hinder a fighter’s ability inside the cage. Furthermore, we’re already experiencing a global pandemic. Should we also risk bringing back some sort of a space virus? Or taking our virus up there to the moon? I mean, if the movie “Outbreak” from 1995 is kinda true right now, shouldn’t we consider that those “Alien” movies might also become possible futures?
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Twitter: @Kelsey_McCarson