A good nickname can turn even the most average athlete into a cult favorite, or in some instances an overnight legend.
You can have the athletic ability of a Big Mac without the pickle and yet still get cheered like a rock star every time you walk out to the field, or in the case of a professional fighter, the cage.
Hell, the proper nickname will cause women all around the arena to take their tops off and scream your name like a deranged big breasted psychopath every time your entrance music hits the loudspeakers.
Of course, if you write for Heavy MMA you do not need a nickname as this type of female reaction comes with the territory.
With that being said, mixed martial arts is home to some of the most creative nicknames in all of sports. In honor of Ryan “Darth” Bader’s co-main event bout against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira at UFC 119, let’s take a look at the top 10 most epic nicknames in MMA today.
If Mark Miller lived up to his true potential and just smashed everyone in sight, he would be the most legendary fighter of all time. More legendary than Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, the entire Gracie Family, Godzilla, King Kong, and all four of the Ninja Turtles combined.
Unfortunately Miller hasn’t had the best of success lately, going 1-5 in his last six fights. Nevertheless, how can we not include “The Meat Missile” on this list? The fact that Miller came up with the name during a brunch conversation with his grandma just makes the nickname all the more spectacular.
You ever wonder why, on snowy days, kids aren’t building as many snowmen as they used to? Of course it could have something to do with all of that technology mumbo jumbo (kids today love their X-Box 360’s), but the real reason is actually far more complex.
You see, because of Jeff Monson, children are now afraid that there snowmen will come to life and choke them unconscious or snap their arms off with high level jiu-jitsu techniques. So when it’s snowing out and your kid is inside chatting to his girlfriend in China via AIM, don’t blame technology… blame Jeff “The Snowman” Monson.
As the most dominant female fighter in the world, let’s just say Cris “Cyborg” is one scary broad. She could probably step into the Octagon with some of the toughest male fighters in the world and completely demolish them within a five minute time period.
The actual nickname itself isn’t really that original but it fits Santos perfectly as she really does fight like an unstoppable “Cyborg”. Plus I’ve seen Santos choke out MMA reporters before so I figured I’d add her on this list just to make sure she doesn’t set her sights on me next.
Roy Nelson isn’t exactly what you would call a “physical specimen.” The beautiful thing about “Big Country”, though, is that he embraces his porky physique and in doing so has become a huge favorite among MMA fans.
His love affair with biscuits and gravy aside, Nelson is actually one of the top fighters in his division. He’s also surprisingly very athletic.
Caceres, a cast member of The Ultimate Fighter season 12 has already became somewhat of a household name and TUF 12 has only just begun airing on Spike TV.
With a 4-2 record, “Bruce LeeRoy” still has a ways to go before reaching the upper echelon of the lightweight division but his nickname alone puts him in legendary status.
The name “Cro Cop” is short for Croatian Cop stemming back to Filipovic’s background as a police officer in Croatia. On that note, am I the only one who would love to see Filipovic star in a sequel to the 1990 film “Kindergarten Cop”?
Just imagine “Cro Cop”, as an undercover policeman teaching a kindergarten class. I fear for the safety of the young kindergartener who dares to cause turmoil in “Cro Cop’s” classroom. A crayon gets thrown across the room and Filipovic will throw his patented left head kick… of course he would miss his target considering the average height for a kindergartener is like, what, like 3 feet? Just a little bit taller than the average dwarf.
As far as nicknames are concerned, it doesn’t get much better than this. Ryan Bader is the light heavyweight division’s resident sith lord which means he gets all kinds of action. In his prime, Darth Vader impregnated more women from galaxies far, far, away than Hugh Hefner has done over the course of his lifetime.
Bader certainly displays the powers of the dark side inside the Octagon as he has kept his unbeaten record intact though four UFC bouts. Now, if Bader switched his nickname to “The Master” he would have taken the number one spot on this list without question.
“Sexyama” is essentially a super hero over in Japan. If you turn on FOX News one day and see a report on an overly tan Japanese man launching kamehameha waves at Godzilla in Tokyo, it’s probably Akiyama.
At UFC 120, “Sexyama” will battle Michael Bisping in the main event free on Spike TV. Coming off a submission loss to Chris Leben, Akiyama will really need to take things to the next level if he plans on remaining a top contender.
Ever since losing a close split decision to Leonard Garcia in an absolute war at WEC 48, Chan Sung Jung has solidified himself as one of the most exciting fighters in the entire world. With his action packed fighting style comes one of the best nicknames in the history of nicknames, “The Korean Zombie”.
It’s a brilliant name and one that sums Jung up to a tee. This Korean featherweight truly fights as if he were a zombie, no matter what you throw at him he just keeps moving forward. You could literally whack “The Korean Zombie” in the head with a banjo and he wouldn’t even feel it.
There has never been a nickname in MMA as horrifically terrifying as “The Axe Murderer”. In his prime, Wanderlei Silva instilled fear into the hearts of every opponent he ever stepped into the ring with.
Little known fact, before every Wanderlei Silva fight in PRIDE they used to take a five minute pause to mop up the urine of Silva’s opponents off the mat. Then they would put the urine in a can and Lyoto Machida would gulp it up for “medical benefits” but that’s a tale for a different time.
The point is, Silva was once an unstoppable killing machine in the light heavyweight division. His best days may be behind him, but you cannot deny “The Axe Murderer” as the most epic nickname in MMA today.
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