The TUF 12 coaches pick their teams, and we get our first fight of the season.
LAST WEEK: Twenty-eight lightweights arrived in Vegas for their chance to deal with Josh Koscheck for six weeks. Oh, and the chance for UFC glory as well. Georges St. Pierre says it’s the perfect scenario because he’s the ultimate good guy while Koscheck is the ultimate bad boy.
At least I think that’s what he said. I don’t want to be that guy, but subtitles wouldn’t hurt us at all this season.
In the end, fourteen of the fighters make it into the house, and the 12th season of the Ultimate Fighter officially gets under way.
EPISODE 1202: “WELL PLAYED”
The fighters arrive at the house. Bruce Leeroy is still wearing his yellow Bruce Lee outfit. I hope he wears nothing but that same outfit throughout the whole season. The Ultimate Fighter house has received a nice upgrade, looking much classier than it has in the past. The fighters are understandably overwhelmed despite probably seeing this house on television for several years now.
Heavy’s own Jonathan Brookins says that Bruce Leroy and Jeff Lentz are the two biggest characters in the house. Yes. One of them is wearing a full-body yellow leotard while the other has bright red hair and says he’ll never tap out to a submission hold. Lentz also notes that it’s easier to pull your arm out of a hold when it’s broken. He actually said this. He’s also smoking a cigarette and takes “four, five, six or seven shots.” I foresee bad things in the future for this young man.
The next morning, it’s time to head to the gym for team selection. Team Koscheck is already assembled and discussing fighter rankings. Koscheck has Michael Johnson ranked as the top guy.
Greg Jackson tells Team GSP they should pick the first fighter instead of the first fight. GSP unveils a bit of treachery by writing his fighter rankings in giant letters and then holding his card so Koscheck can see his rankings. He wants Koscheck to pick guys based off his list so he can get the guys he wants. That dastardly Georges. Koscheck appears ready to take the bait.
TEAM PICKS
Koscheck chooses to take the first fighter, so GSP gets the first fight selection.
The coaches make the rest of their selections. Dale Sayers is the final pick, which bums him out, but he’s ready to prove everybody wrong.
GSP does an awesome rendition of the Full Metal Jacket speech. This needs to be seen to be believed. He says he’s going to act more as a training partner than a coach because he believes he’ll be more useful that way. He introduces his coaches, all of whom appear to have majored in philosophy in college.
Team Koscheck hits the gym for a training session. Koscheck says he has the edge over St. Pierre because he’s been here before. He believes in mindless training, which is directly opposite from the methods St. Pierre employs. Koscheck introduces his coaches, which includes American Kickboxing head Bob Cook and Daniel Cormier. The funny thing? They actually name Cormier on screen, which is strange considering Jake Shields was the odd man out last season. Koscheck says he’s definitely the heel this season. Yes, he is.
GSP gets to pick the first fight. He chooses Bruce Leroy from his team to take on Jeff Lentz. GSP says Leroy wanted the fight, so he gave it to him. Dana White says he doesn’t agree with coaches allowing his fighters to pick the fight, but then again, he’s a control freak and GSP isn’t. Koscheck says it’s a great fight for his team.
Jeff Lentz introduces himself. He noticed a hitch in Leeroy’s game yesterday where he taps his foot every time he’s going to engage, so he plans on taking advantage of that. Koscheck says Lentz has the perfect opportunity to come out and put on a show. Lentz says his game plan is to hurt Bruce so bad that he wants to go home tomorrow.
Back at the house, Bruce Leeroy is sporting a sweet formal Chinese gi. This guy is one of the best characters to ever appear on the show.
Lentz is outside at night, smoking a cigarette and doing some shadow-boxing. He says this is the first fight where his parents won’t be there for him.
FIGHT DAY
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Bruce Leeroy does some meditating and yoga outside. Meanwhile, Lentz smokes a cigarette. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things prepares you for a fight, while the other gives you lung cancer and limits your cardiovascular system.
I should note that Leeroy is wearing his sweet Chinese formal gi to the gym for his fight and does some light sparring with GSP. Lentz says he can’t wait to kick the stupid look off Leeroy’s face.
ALEX CACERES VS. JEFFREY LENTZ
ROUND 1: I’ll refer to Bruce Leeroy by his real name of Alex Caceres from this point forward, though it pains me to do so. Alex comes out with a smile on his face and opens with a head kick. Lentz tries to catch a second kick but falls down. Alex tries another head kick followed by a spin kick. Lentz is pushing forward. Lentz nails a running front kick and then clinches against the cage. Lentz uses a nasty foot stomp. GSP implores Alex to get back in the center of the cage, but Lentz is holding him tightly. Lentz uses some knees to the thigh and tries a trip, but Alex stuffs it. Lentz gets the clinch back. Lentz tries another trip and misses, giving Alex the opportunity to clinch Lentz against the cage, but he can’t hold him there, getting overpowered by Lentz and pushed back into the cage. Herb Dean tells both fighters they need to work. Lentz tries a double-leg, but Alex clinches on a guillotine. Lentz walks around for a bit and escapes from the guillotine, but gets caught again. He escapes from that one and ends up on top. Both guys get back to their feet. Alex escapes, but Lentz gets the clinch again. Alex just isn’t strong enough to deal with Lentz in this position. Herb Dean separates the fighters and restarts in the center of the cage. Alex misses a head kick, but then lands a nice kick to the body. Both guys are throwing kicks and punches with wild abandon. There is literally no defense going on here. Lentz gets a trip and takedown as the round ends. Heavy.com scores the round 10-9 for Jeff Lentz.
Between rounds, Phil Nurse works breathing exercises with Alex while Jeff Lentz talks trash.
ROUND 2: Alex misses a front kick. Lentz nails a head kick of his own. Lentz gets another head kick. GSP tells Alex to get to the center of the cage. Both guys trade punches before Lentz clinches Alex into the cage. Alex tries a guillotine but Lentz slips out. Alex gets something that looks like a takedown but somehow ends up on the bottom with Lentz in half-guard. Lentz uses elbows from the top before Alex gets him back into the guard. Alex gets a triangle, and Lentz slams him, but the hold still appears to be tight. Lentz fights it as hard as he can, but eventually is forced to emphatically tap out. Quite the win here for young Bruce Leroy.
Lentz says he didn’t handle things the right way. He thought he could bust through the triangle, but just couldn’t power his way out. Dana says he doesn’t root for guys on the show, but he’s definitely rooting for Bruce Leeroy. Me too, Dana. Me too.
Bruce Leeroy puts on his Chinese gi and does some kung fu moves. What does he have to say to his future opponents? “I’m Bruce F*cking Leeroy.” Somebody is paying tribute to Kenny Powers, and I am a fan.
NEXT WEEK: Leeroy celebrates by drinking a lot of liquor and making fun of Jeff Lentz, which apparently means he’s gone “overboard.” Koscheck accuses his team of losing focus and screams at them a bunch. Georges St. Pierre does some smiling. Mike Tyson stops by the gym. Yes, Mike Tyson. This will be quite the season.
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