Scientists Give Dudes Excuse for Passing Out After Sex

Go straight from scoring to snoring — science is on your side, guys.

Sorry, ladies, but eggheads in France have uncovered one of the most bulletproof “not my fault” arguments in the history of male-female relations. Their new research proves what guys have always known: It’s only natural to pass out right after sex.

The newly released functional-neuroimaging study examines the brain’s activity before and after orgasm. It shows that the cerebral cortex, or so-called thinking area of a man’s brain — yes, we have those — immediately shuts down after the blowing of one’s load; meanwhile, a flood of powerful brain chemicals like oxytocin induces relaxation and sleep.

Basically, men are biologically predisposed to go directly from passion to paralysis. So while your girlfriend is elbowing your ribs and berating you for your brutish insensitivity, millions of years of evolution are whispering a sweet lullaby of satisfaction that says “Your work is done here — now fall asleep right away and get some rest so you can be alert in the morning and kill a woolly mammoth without getting gored by a saber-toothed tiger.”

Sleep scientist Dr. Neil Stanley tells the Daily Mail:

As frustrating as it is for most women that their male partners just roll over and fall asleep after sex, men aren’t entirely to blame. Humans are the only animals in which sleep and sex are linked, and while often seen as just a poor excuse, there are scientific reasons why men feel tired after sex.

It’s not often that science lands so squarely on the side of men, so enjoy this one, guys. Blind her with science.