Justin Bieber Sued for Unpaid Penis Enlargement/Abortion Loan

If I were a Bieber fan, I wouldn’t be too worried about this one. But a Michigan man, claiming to be the father of Bieber’s girlfriend, Selena Gomez, is suing Justin for stealing his credit card, as well as not paying back money owed for an abortion for his daughter, according to TMZ.

According to the man, an abortion costs $426.78, which he lent in cash to the Canadian singer and for which he has yet to be reimbursed:

Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my canadian bear rug.

Bieber’s old pal Usher has gotten himself tied up in this legal quagmire too, according to the plaintiff:

Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth of july 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring kate perry firework song in my ear drums.

Usher’s lawyers have so far been unavailable for comment.

The conclusion of the suit is a plea to Americans who are ready to stop Beliebing:

I’m an emotional mess… America must boycott biebers music!

The litter of errors across the document suggest that this man, claiming to be Selena Gomez’s father, did not go through the proper legal channels for filing a suit of this nature. In reality, he seems to be an angry man, angry at Bieber, angry at Usher, angry at everyone.

Gomez’s dad, Richard Joel, divorced Selena’s mother when the singer/actress was 5 years old. Here they are together:

Bieber has been the target of nonsense lawsuits previously. In 2011 a woman tried to sue him for hearing damage received during a 2011 show. Then, more seriously, he was accused of fathering Maria Yeater’s baby. The woman claimed the child was conceived during a romp in his backstage area. The claim was later dropped when Bieber offered to do a paternity test.