When NBC’s Saturday Night Live tapped Ben Stiller to play Michael Cohen, former attorney and fixer for President Trump, and spoof Cohen’s congressional hearing, the variety show left no joke unturned.
With Kenan Thompson playing Rep. Elijah Cummings at the hearing, SNL’s audience took to laughter in the humorous cold open.
First, here’s a primer on what happened in the real-life congressional hearing with Cohen:
Cohen uttered phrases about Trump like, “he’s a racist, he’s a conman, he’s a cheat,” and alleged that Trump knew about the WikiLeaks dump ahead of time. As reports noted, the real congressional hearing featuring Cohen himself was television enough.
But, leave it to SNL to take things a step further with spoofs of the real thing (WATCH):
Here are 15 most memorable jokes from the Stiller/Cohen skit:
1. Thompson’s character as Cummings asks the audience in the congressional hearing to stay professional and to not “ooh and ah” if they hear something outrageous. “This is not ‘Married with Children,'” he says.
2. Thompson’s Cummings also says, “I’m told I should tease this, because it’s all anybody cares about anymore: coming up a performance by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez”…a nod to the young congresswoman’s popularity as #AOC.
3. “For any other president, this would be the most damning and humiliating moment of their lives, but for Trump, it’s just Wednesday,” Thompson’s Cummings continues.
4. “Cohen, you wrote this statement yourself,” Thompson’s Cummings says to Stiller’s Cohen. “Yes, but I had some help from the guys who wrote Green Book,” Stiller’s Cohen retorts.
5. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” Stiller’s Cohen begins. “[This is] not a court!” says Thompson. “Thank you for inviting me here today to correct the record under oath,” Stiller’s Cohen continues. “Last time I testified was also under oath, but this time, I like, really mean it.”
6. “I’m here today to tell you that Mr. Trump is a racist,” Stiller’s Cohen states. The audience is unfazed and silent. “Wow, I thought that would be a bigger reaction,” Stiller’s Cohen says.
7. Stiller’s Cohen then released a copy of the letter he was directed by Mr. Trump to use to threaten the latter’s high school, warning them not to release his SAT scores:
8. “In conclusion, I know that I was wrong,” Stiller’s Cohen says. “And I know it–because I got caught.”
9. “For too many years, I was loyal to a man when I should not have been,” he says. “Now I know how Kloe Kardashian feels.” (The SNL audience gasps and goes, “ooOoOhhh!”)
10. “And now I’m all out of faith,” Stiller’s Cohen says in conclusion. “This is how I feel; I’m cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed, into something real. I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.” The SNL audience laughs at this reference to Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn” song.
11. “Now I’d like to open the floor, so that Republicans can get angry at everybody except the president,” Thompson’s Cummings says.
12. Bill Hader enters to guest feature as Rep. Jim Jordan, the congressman from Ohio at the hearing. He immediately calls the Cohen character a lying piece of human trash. Stiller spoofs Cohen’s constant search for “who’s talking” at his congressional hearing, so Hader’s Jordan shouts, “Where are you looking? I’m right here!”
13. “I’m so angry, I didn’t even wear a jacket today!” Hader’s Jordan says, as the camera pans to this hilarious image:
14. Thompson then announces that he “recognizes the congressman from North Carolina…Rep. Mark Meadows” whose character chimes in: “Now, I couldn’t help but hear Mr. Cohen call President Trump a racist, but it just so happens that I brought with me…a black woman…” A character playing Lynne Patton enters. “…and her name is Omarosa.”
15. “Oh no, no,” Lynne Patton’s character begs for Meadows’ character to halt the racist confusion. “Oh, that is not me…can I leave?”
Thompson responds: “Absolutely; save yourself.”