The Smark Rant for UFC 39: The Warriors Return

Heavyweight title: Randy Couture v. Ricco Rodriguez

Dana White strongly hinted in his previous interview that he considers Couture to still be the champion, although the Nevada Athletic Commission felt otherwise and thus the title is vacant. Ricco has his back painted with an ugly-ass website ad, finding new ways to annoy the fuck out of me. And you thought that guys being sponsored by Condom Depot was the height of tackiness. Couture, as you’d expect, gets the clinch on the fence and tries some dirty boxing, but Ricco takes him down. Randy quickly stands it up on the fence again. Back to the middle for some good boxing from Couture and a superb leg sweep takedown, taking control on top and trying for a guillotine, then finishing with another great takedown to put an exclamation point on the round. 10-9 Couture, of course.

Second round and Couture gets it to the ground again, controlling on top and then passing to half guard before Ricco is able to wrap him up again. Couture lets him up and then gets another vicious takedown before firing away from the top, and Ricco’s yell of pain on the way down is a great thing to hear on a petty level for me. He just annoys me SO MUCH. Hey, nobody said I had to be objective. 10-9 Couture again.
Third round and Couture is all smiles, catching a flying knee attempt for another takedown (#4 in a series, collect ’em all!), then he pounds the back of Ricco with knees until Ricco shoves him away and ends up on top. And even then Randy is throwing rights from his back! Ricco tries to pass and Couture nearly catches him with a choke from the bottom in a glorious reversal attempt, but Ricco remains in control on top. Ricco tries for a couple of submissions, but gets nothing and the round ends with Couture on top again. 10-9 Rodriguez there, but I could be swayed very easily the other way.

Fourth round and it’s uncharted territory for Ricco, but he comes out with a takedown and works from the top. He finally uses his size effectively, trapping Randy on the fence and bringing down elbows to really make Couture carry his weight. Randy just gets mauled for the entire round, and Ricco gets full mount with 30 seconds left and fires away, but Randy escapes and reverses to a guillotine as the round ends. Ricco, classy guy, tries to kick Couture on the ground, but misses. No point deduction there, but fuck him anyway for that. 10-9 Ricco, as he got greedy at the end and let Randy back into it, because otherwise it was 10-8.

Final round and it’s anyone’s fight. Ricco gets a good combination to start and takes Couture down against the fence, using the ground and pound again. This is bad news for Couture. Ricco pounds away, and Big John stops it to give Ricco the heavyweight title. Kill me now. Yeah, I knew it was coming, but that doesn’t make it any more fun to watch. It was a hell of a fight, and I’ll give Ricco credit for executing his game plan. But I just hate watching him so much.

This was a hell of a show that again failed to make any money for Zuffa, as it was starting to look like they would go the same way SEG did. But next time, it’s the show that puts UFC on the PPV map again: Tito Ortiz defends the light heavyweight title against Ken Shamrock!