Nick Cannon Felt Insecure With ‘Alpha’ Mariah Carey Marriage

Heavy/Getty Nick Cannon reflects on what it was like to be married to Mariah Carey.

Nick Cannon recently opened up about his former marriage to pop icon Mariah Carey, discussing how the relationship impacted his sense of identity and self-worth. Appearing on the “Ray Daniels Presents“ podcast on October 24, the 44-year-old “Masked Singer” Host revisited his time with Carey, highlighting the internal struggles he faced while married to one of the world’s most celebrated entertainers.

The relationship, which lasted from 2008 to 2016, shaped Cannon’s understanding of himself. He recounted feeling overshadowed by Carey’s fame, leading him to question his role and identity outside of being “Mariah’s man.”

Admitting Insecurities

Cannon expressed that his marriage to Carey, who was already a global sensation, stirred feelings of insecurity and led him to doubt his worth outside the relationship. “I got married in my 20s to the biggest star in the world,” Cannon shared. He revealed that, often at night, he would question his purpose and identity. “I would lay up at night thinking, ‘Is this who I am? Am I Mariah’s man?’”

GettyMariah Carey and Nick Cannon arrive with children Monroe Cannon (2R) and Moroccan Scott Cannon (top) at the 31st Annual Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards in 2018.

Throughout the marriage, Cannon admitted he had grown “comfortable” with the luxuries that came with Carey’s lifestyle, such as waking up late and enjoying lavish amenities. However, he noted a gradual erosion of his “hustler” spirit, especially after the birth of their now-13-year-old twins, Monroe and Moroccan Cannon. As the father of two, Cannon found himself questioning his role within the family hierarchy, describing a shift where he felt more like a support than the main character of his own life. “I’m carrying the purse, the diaper bag and I’m standing on the corner waiting,” he expressed. “She’s rocking being the alpha,” he added saying “I believe she needs a dude like that…I’m just not that dude.”

Getty(L-R) Nick Cannon, Moroccan Cannon, Mariah Carey and Monroe Cannon at the Nickelodeon’s 2017 Kids’ Choice Awards in 2017.

Cannon’s insecurities began to spill over into his professional life, as he started doubting whether his career successes were truly his own or the result of his association with Carey. “I was wearing suits every day because I’m trying to prove that I’m a man,” Cannon joked, admitting that he felt a need to assert his masculinity due to the power imbalance in his marriage.

Life After Carey

Since his divorce from Carey in 2016, Cannon has focused on his own identity and personal goals, even jokingly attributing his expanding family to his newfound sense of purpose. With twelve children from several relationships, Cannon said he now has “so much to do,” adding a lighthearted explanation: “That’s probably why I have 12 kids now.”

His journey to self-discovery has been marked by a health battle with lupus, which he said helped him refocus on what matters. Despite his feelings of admiration for Carey, Cannon acknowledged that their relationship had run its course. Yet, he playfully hinted at unresolved feelings, saying that Carey is “the one that got away.” In an interview with E! News on August 6, Cannon remarked that he would be open to rekindling their relationship, humorously conceding, “She don’t want me.”