Heavy Kendra Wilkinson reveals how desperate she was before she sought treatment.
A former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant has shared how dark life felt recently as she struggled with deep depression. In September, Kendra Wilkinson was hospitalized after initiating a visit to the emergency room.
A couple of months later, in an update she provided via Instagram in November, Wilkinson explained she had undergone treatment for anxiety and depression.
Now, Wilkinson has given a detailed interview to People revealing just how dark and difficult things got before her hospitalization.
Here’s what you need to know:
Kendra Wilkinson Hit Rock Bottom
On January 16, People shared their interview with Wilkinson. The former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant, who competed in season 12 of DWTS with Louis van Amstel, reflected on her journey. Before getting treatment, Wilkinson hit a point where she asked her ex-husband, Hank Baskett, to take her to the emergency room.
“I was in a state of panic. I didn’t know what was going on in my head and my body or why I was crying,” Wilkinson recalled. She revealed she had hit “rock bottom” and “was dying of depression. I was hitting the end of my life, and I went into psychosis.”
“I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to live anymore,” the mother of two said of that difficult moment.
After having Baskett take her to the hospital, Wilkinson spent two months undergoing intense treatment. She revealed she returned to the hospital a week after her initial emergency room visit and at that time, she was prescribed antipsychotic medication.
From there, Wilkinson started outpatient therapy that included getting therapy three times each week. “It was the lowest place I’ve ever been in my life,” the former “Girls Next Door” star admitted.
Wilkinson’s mental health was so bad at that stage she “was giving up and I couldn’t find the light. I had no hope.”
Wilkinson Is Proud of Herself & Doing Great Now
As Wilkinson opened up about her mental health journey, she noted there was no one incident from her past that contributed to her issues. In going through treatment, she “had to face my demons,” the reality television star admitted.
“It’s not easy to look back at my 20s…Playboy really messed my whole life up,” Wilkinson revealed. She felt shame related to her failed marriage and stress over trying to jumpstart a career in real estate.
In addition, Wilkinson has been estranged from her family for years and pulled away from many friends after her divorce. On top of all that, she was trying to prioritize her children, her son Hank IV, 14, and daughter Alijah Mary, 9.
“I was isolating, hiding, blaming myself, blaming the world. I was spiraling out of control and I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to survive,” Wilkinson admitted of how she felt at her worst. “There was a moment where I looked at my ex-husband and I said, ‘Take me to the hospital.'”
Accepting her need for medication was “the hardest thing to do,” Wilkinson noted. “It meant I had to accept that I have some mental illness, and I didn’t want to have to do that.”
The former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant was just 18 years old when she decided to live in the Playboy mansion and embrace the party life. That move came several years after she started using drugs at only 15. Ever since then, she has struggled with her self-esteem. Now, however, she’s eager to put the “vortex of horrible things” behind her.
After months of hard work, Wilkinson feels “aligned” and like herself again.
“I’m living now…I feel like I’m the best mom I can be,” Wilkinson declared. She continued, “I’m giving my kids all I got. I’m giving myself all I got.” She also admitted, “I’m so proud of myself…I survived.”