If you love weird Christmas ornaments that make people say, “What the–?” then you’re in the right place. We’ve combed through the internet and found the most unique and absurd ornaments that will leave you wondering why the heck they were made in the first place. Plus you can get away with giving supremely weird gifts because they are technically Christmas-y. Christmas coffee cups can also get pretty out there.
Y’all, I’m shook. This is a Christmas ornament depicting Darth Vader Choking Admiral Motti and it has sound effects. I’m not above some dark decorations but this is from Hallmark.
Attempted murder with sound effects is literally a Hallmark Keepsake. How 2020 is that?
I’ve listened to the audio and it’s a good recording of the featured scene, but it’s fully and deeply disturbing to listen to the sounds of someone being choked in the context of a Christmas ornament.
But, hey, maybe you’re into that and this Hallmark Keepsake is for you.
I’d say this Dinosaur ornament is on the weird spectrum but as it sells out year after year, it’s a beloved type of weird.
Named Blitzer, their story is that this T-Rex pulled Santa’s sleigh before the reindeer and with his open mouth and fearsome jaws, I’m not one to argue.
This cast-stone dinosaur wearing a Santa hat is hand-painted for great detailing. A heavy glass Christmas ball ornament sits between its legs for I’m not sure what purpose but it does look amazing next to Christmas tree lights.
You can buy this as a single ornament or a set of three.
If you know someone who would be really into an incredibly realistic miniature of a six-pack of Bud Light, Kurt Adler has you covered.
This mini-beer run is officially licensed by Anheuser Busch. The bottles are made from resin for the glass effect and the carton is made of cardboard. The printing is impressively accurate for an ornament that is only 2.6 inches tall.
As a member of the LGBTQ community, I wouldn’t call the December Diamond line of queer mermen weird as a whole–however, this merman is a veterinarian. How does that even work?
I could get behind a fish doctor, but this merman is holding a puppy (who is looking a little freaked out if you zoom in on its face). This puppy might be fine for a paddle around, but Fido is not going to love being dragged under the sea to a watery vet appointment.
The other option is that our vet gets transferred to a little personal aquarium to work in an animal hospital on dry land which is also ridiculous.
The December Diamond’s Cowboy Merman “Cowpoke” makes about as much sense both because he’s not going to be that helpful on a cattle ranch and because the ornament is holding a hobby horse he doesn’t have any legs.
December Diamond mermen tend to be about eight inches tall and made of resin with glitter detailing.
We’re all familiar with that traditional Christmas character Eyeball Man, the dapper man with an eyeball for a head. No? Of course not because that’s absolutely ridiculous.
Nevertheless, we have this Christmas ornament with a portrait of an eyeball wearing a Victorian-era suit complete with top cat. I honeslty love it. It’s a lovely addition to a goth, horror, or steampunk tree.
The original painting is by Lisa Zador of New York and she creates these unique Christmas ornaments as well.
It comes in a gift-ready felt pouch with a ribbon for hanging.
If you ever got it in your mind that you’d like a slug ornament for your Christmas tree, this is as slug as it gets–minus the slime.
This blown-glass ornament is six inches of bright yellow banana slug. Six inches is a lot of slug. Other than the gold glitter, it’s disturbingly realistic with a rounded mantle, ribbed edges, and four tentacles.
Fun fact the ribbed part of a slug is called the skirt which just made this slug cuter in my mind.
This is a nice gift for folks from the Pacific Northwest.
For the sasquatch lover in your life, we have this holiday bigfoot ornament from Design Tuscano.
Sasquatch has gone all out this year with a jolly Santa hat, a sprig of holly, and an armful of Christmas lights. Design Tuscano is known for their highly-detailed hand-cast resin figurines and this bigfoot ornament won’t stay in stock for long.
This is a perfect gift for the criptid-hunter in your life.
This is an ornament for people who don’t love Christmas but don’t hate it either.
Perfect for those who care just enough to have ornaments but that’s as far as it goes. The two-inch classic glass Christmas ball is matte black with white lettering.
This is a porcelain snowflake with a realistic photo of sausages on it. Happy holidays.
I’m sure it’s celebrating a traditional Christmas dinner but the combination of the white star or snowflake shape and the greasy sheen on the sausage including flecks of burnt carbon picked up from the pan is just a bit too much for me.
Plus the border of the star makes it look like it’s a weirdly shaped plate full of sauerkraut, brats, and mashed potatoes.
The only reason I can fathom this existing is to enjoy the complete absurdity of it.
The poop emoji surrounded by cubic zirconias would be weird enough but then suspending it within a silver snowman creates so many questions about what’s going on here.
It’s unclear if the snowman is wearing this poop charm as a necklace, if someone has pooped on the snowman, or if we are viewing the poop that is inside of the snowman with a bejeweled X-ray. I’m not sure I want to know but you’ll surely give your guests something to talk (and laugh) about when they see this.
This ornament is crafted in America from bronze and coated with sterling silver.
Nothing goes with candy canes and tinsel like Georgie’s bloodied paper boat from the movie IT.
Except pretty much anything goes better with candy canes and tinsel than a child’s toy that got him murdered by an evil Stephen King clown. That said, you can absolutely buy this SS Georgie Christmas ornament complete with details like blood spatter and that it was made out of the “Derry Herald.”
It’s made from laser-engraved wood that is painted to create a realistic newspaper (and blood) effect. It’s not covered in wax like the real thing but I still bet it will float if you know what I mean.
This classic from Accoutrements, this squirrel ornament is sporting tighty-whities.
It’s made of glass which gives it a traditional, classy feel that the underwear with stitching details throws completely out the window. The squirrel just looks so pleased with himself in his briefs, that you’ll smile every time you see him.
Brussels sprouts have the reputation of being everyone’s least favorite vegetable–which led to them being given a Christmas ornament for reasons no one knows.
I love that this ornament is life-size for a healthy sprout and has great detailing from the glitter-enhanced cabbage-leaf wrinkles to the white stalk at the base. It’s mouth-blown glass in the traditional old-world style.
Full disclosure, I love Brussels sprouts. If you hate them, you haven’t had them cooked well but I digress. Even I don’t know why they made an ornament out of them. I assume it’s to taunt young children.
This is a blown glass ornament of a unicorn, which I can get behind, but it’s really more like a person’s body with unicorn’s head who is wearing pink lederhosen.
Along with the glittery pink lederhosen, it also has glittery sneakers and kneehigh socks. It’s just a pile of really strange choices in the form of traditional glass ornament.
Nothing says “Peace on earth and goodwill towards men,” like the Iron Throne from Game of Thrones.
I don’t think I need to say anything else about how not-Christmas-y this is so let’s move on. This 4.5-inch tall resin cast of the Iron Throne is officially licensed and highly detailed. Each of the bent and woven swords has a unique hilt and the base has a rough stone finish.
It’s undeniable perfect for any Game of Thrones fan in your life. I just wouldn’t call it jolly.
If I were to do a Christmas word association, deli meat is going to be near the bottom of the list, which is why this realistic salami Christmas ornament has me pretty confused.
I was raised Italian-American but this is still on the strange side for me. The blown-glass Proscuitto ham and salami are almost too realistic to be Christmas-y down to the speckled white coating of mold on the outside of the salami. (Yup, that’s mold. I was today-years-old when I learned that too.)
Maybe it would make sense if you hung them together but the idea of a tiny bottle of olive oil on my Christmas tree just makes me crack up.
They are classic blown-glass ornaments with glitter detailing and hand-painting. They just also happen to be realistic hunks of deli meat.
For those looking for an ornament that will make 90 percent of people squint their eyes and say, “What?” this is for you.
It has taken the niche meme of, “Notice me, senpai” from Japanese anime and otaku culture and added in a pie pun. That’s a bridge too far from understanding for most folks over 40 and many under.
So it’s a weird item any time of year, but it makes even less sense to hang on a Christmas tree.
The ornament is a flat metal disc made from recycled aluminum and crafted in the United States.
Made by Old World Christmas, this traditionally mouth-blown glass ornament features a glittery skeleton called Mr. Bones.
It’s a classic Christmas company using a long-honored craft but taking a sharp left turn away from Christmas and landing solidly in Halloween. The little gaps by Mr. Bones’ elbows and knees are even filled in with orange for a Halloween color palette.
It comes with the festive silver filigre top and for hanging like all Old World Christmas ornaments and in a festive Saint Nick box.
For those who never get tired of “Guess what? Chicken butt,” we have this ornament.
It’s printed on real wood (one-sided) with a hand-tied loop for hanging. The chicken butt in question is surprisingly thicc with gleaming shine lines that really draw the eye right where you want it.
I love the chicken’s smug expression. They know how juicy their butt is. You go, chickie.
If you keep piranhas as pets this makes sense as an ornament, but I feel like that’s a rather small number of people, leaving the rest of us wondering why there’s a flesh-eating frenzy killer on the Christmas tree.
To be fair, the Smithsonian explains that their scary reputation as vicious killers has been blown out of proportion by the media. In actuality, piranhas would only attack a human if they were starving and that human was dead or nearly dead already.
It seems like you shouldn’t be able to just slap the word “Santaur” on there like it’s a thing. Who agreed to Santa and centaur mashup?
But here we are and the blown glass ornament features a muscular horse body with the upper half of a buff, shirtless Santa Claus. The base does display the label of Santaur in action movie font.
With a flat base and being six inches tall, you can hang this on a tree or use it as a figurine.
It’s a great gag gift or simply to stick on your tree with the rest of your normal ornaments and wait for guests to notice it and crack up laughing.
These ornaments are made from real re-purposed computer circuit boards and are fit to adorn the geekiest tree this year.
Each one will be slightly different in look because they’re all cut from blue circuit boards. If you’ve got a tech industry office party or gift exchange to go to, this is the ornament set for you.
The blobfish is the fish the internet loves and loves to think is totally gross, so why not hang a blown glass blobfish ornament on your tree?
The blobfish has been voted the ugliest animal in the world. That’s not quite fair, however, as the blobfish looks like a totally normal fish in its natural habitat in the crushing pressures of the deep ocean. (They do really look like a hot mess up here though.)
If people recognize this as a quote from the movie Elf it will make sense, but if they don’t, it’s definitely going to seem like a strange choice for a Christmas tree.
The glass ornament has great printing and comes in a gift-ready box.
If your idea of fun is a potential feminism misstep leading to household tensions, I have an ornament for you.
The trope of a husband giving his wife a vacuum for Christmas and it not going over awesomely (to put it lightly) is well-known so approach this at your own risk if you’re considering it as a “funny” gift for the person in your life who does the lion’s share of the household chores.
The fact that it seems like such a landmine item makes this an extremely odd Christmas ornament design. Who is buying these enough that stock is running low?
They are made by Old World Christmas using the mouth-blown glass technique which is traditional.
If you’re a Lord of the Rings house or looking for a gift for an LOTR fan, you’ll love this one that takes the famous, “You shall not pass,” line and twists it a more festive turn.
It’s still Gandalf bellowing at you with his all-business face which is less jolly than most ornaments but it’s still vaguely Christmas-y.
The ornament is laser-engraved on real maple wood and made in Texas.
If you feel like your Christmas tree is just too festive, why not add an ornament of Death.
It’s made of sturdy acrylic and is flat for easy storage. It’s a good choice for the humbug on your Christmas list or a tree with a Christmas Carol theme.
Right off the bat, this is so clearly not a shrimp. A solid 50 percent of this ornament is made up of a snail shell which is not a very shrimp accessory. It’s a hermit crab which is fine. Is it Christmasy? No, but it’s fine.
Its eyes, however, are not fine. The crab is tightly gripping a tall thin present which I can only assume is absinth given the wall-eyed, stoned expression on its face. The ornament is decked out in glitter and sequins but you just know from looking at it that those shiny bits are going to fall off at any second.
This is an ornament to give to someone you don’t like that much–as a punishment.
It’s made with mouth-blown glass and hand-painted.
Imagine how different the classic Rudolph tale would be if all the reindeer were bottles of beer and Santa’s sleigh was a six-pack carton.
Pretty darn different. I’m not sure it’s an improvement over the classic, but Hallmark created this Santa’s Reinbeer ornament just in case you wanted to explore this beer-filled Christmas universe.
The beer bottles and carton are labeled as imported North Pole Pilsner and the loop on Santa’s head is angled in such a way to tilt the ornament so it looks like the beers are trying to fly.
I can understand the idea of this if deviled eggs are a holiday food staple for you but I can’t get past the fact that they didn’t make the eggs pretty.
When you’re thinking of pretty foods, deviled eggs aren’t exactly up there. They’re white scoops with yellow mush dusted with red powder. But, if you pipe the yellow mush on it instead of glopping it on with a spoon, deviled eggs go up about a dozen levels in attractiveness. So I don’t get why when they were designing the mold for the blown glass that they went with a lumpy, sloppy finish.
These are slapdash, lazy deviled eggs with disconcerting red glitter for paprika. But they come with fancy metallic s-hook for hanging and a gift-ready box so it has that going for it.
This wood ornament is an incredibly detailed depiction of Labyrinth’s iconic Goblin King played by David Bowie. I’m not sure how they managed to get a hint of a glint on the glass orb using wood but color me impressed.
Telestic Design products are crafted by hand in the Pacific Northwest of America using sustainably harvested wood. This particular ornament is made from birch.
If you’re looking for a gag ornament gift–this is about as far as the joke can go.
In this friendship test, you have these sets of testes and you give one to your friend and keep one. If they’re truly your friend, they’ll hang the gift on their tree.
They’re great for a laugh between friends all the while supporting American small business. These are made from sustainably sourced birch wood and crafted in the Pacific Northwest.
This is a novelty joke ornament of a joke you’d buy in a novelty store. There’s something uniquely pure about that.
These fake glasses with fake nose and mustache are created from mouth-blown glass in the traditional way that ornaments have been made for 200 years. I doubt our ancestors had this in mind when they invented the process but that’s history for you.
When I think of festive decorations for my tree, my mind doesn’t exactly jump directly to Freddy Krueger.
Don’t get me wrong, Nightmare on Elm Street is one of my favorite horror classics, but it’s weird Christmas material.
The iconic Freddy silhouette is on a four-inch glass ball ornament with a ribbon for hanging. Not sure what ornament you’ll hang next to this one though, except maybe this ornament of a sleeping mouse if you feel like getting dark.
I really like jellyfish decorations but when there’s a jellyfish hanging from a pine tree, something has gone seriously wrong in the ecosystem.
If you’ve got a mermaid or ocean-themed tree this could make sense, but if not, it’s going to look pretty strange.
The jelly ornament is made of vinyl and has the benefit of being significantly more durable than most ornaments. It glows in the dark which isn’t super helpful when the Christmas tree lights are twinkling but when those are off, you’ll have just a single flowing jellyfish where your tree is. That sounds jolly, doesn’t it?
I truly don’t understand this one. The comic has nothing to do with Christmas and seems totally random.
I have no idea what comic series this is from or who the artist is. If you can’t read the text I will describe it for you.
The mother is saying, “Honey, I found the spatula so you can flip the pancakes.”
The small child (who is standing on a chair to reach the stove and who looks like they may be already holding some sort of utensil anyway) responds, “I don’t need it. I put popcorn in the mix so they’ll flip themselves.”
I guess it’s mildly funny but why is it framed with a snowflake? It’s a mystery.
These polyresin cats are some chonkers and have a diameter of about 4.75 inches making them bigger than your standard Christmas ball ornaments so they’ll really stand out on the tree.
I love their stunned, wide-eyed expression. It makes them look like they aren’t sure how they got stuck on the tree and definitely don’t know how to get down.
This freaky three-inch diameter aluminum snowflake features a large photorealistic eye in the center of it.
A Christmas tree covered in these would absolutely give me the creeps. One of these hidden somewhere on the tree is pretty uncomfortable too. I’m sure for some of you this is just the thing you’re looking for–and that’s worrisome.
This porcelain star Christmas ornament could have a festive image on it like a winter landscape, manger, or Santa Claus. Instead, it’s printed with photorealistic uncooked ramen noodles.
It’s printed on both sides for double the ramen goodness and comes with a ribbon for hanging. It’s suggested as good for not only Christmas but baby showers and weddings as well.
I can see how this would be a fun gift for teens going off to college.
Nothing gets me in the spirit of the holiday like a dying snowman–said no one ever.
This simple glass Christmas ball ornament is printed with an image of a melting snowman in the heat. It’s a good gift for a morbid humbug or for those in warmer climates where a White Christmas isn’t the norm.
This Fake Eyelashes Ornament is for people who really love your falsies but I honestly don’t understand how this ever got green-lighted for printing in the first place. And it even looks like it might be slightly cut off at the edges which raises so many more questions.
I was hoping this was some quote I didn’t know about, but from what I can tell it’s just this side of nonsense. The good news is it’s the type of nonsense you can hang on your tree this year if you want.
I’ll admit that this is a beautifully made miniature nautical hourglass with an antiqued copper look which people into sailing would really like.
However, does no one else think it’s pretty weird to make an hourglass that can only hang one way up? The purpose of an hourglass is to turn it upside-down. It’s a hanging ornament; you can’t flip it. That seems pretty silly to me.
It comes with an ornate metal spiral for hanging and has an overall height of five inches and the hourglass is one inch wide.
These adorable plushie ornaments look perfectly Christmas-y at first glance but they’re actually representations of herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia.
GiantMicrobes has taken their normal plushie microbes and added festive touches like sticking syphilis in a Christmas stocking or adding embroidered lights onto gonorrhea.
Most folks will think these are kind of weird but cute on your tree while medical professionals, biologists, and other science nerds will think they’re hilarious.
Moist is the undeniably worst word in the English language and for people who hate this word, they really, really hate it.
That makes this the best white elephant gift, gag gift, or simply an ornament to hide on your tree and observe peoples’ reactions when they see it and the dreaded word.
The ornament is ceramic and is hand-lettered by an artist from Florida.
This ornament falls into the weird category because of how strangely specific it is.
To love this ornament you must both be really into the leggy, evolutionary mystery that is flamingos and also idealize sea-faring murdering criminals (i.e. pirates).
The resin flamingo is wearing a flamboyant coat, black boots adorned with gold coins, and has a large floppy hat with what appears to be a flamingo feather on it which is vaguely threatening if you think about it too long. And that isn’t helped by the fact that this goofy pink bird is holding a sword clearing in the stabbing position.
This is a flamingo who is going to raid and pillage your boat. Merry Christmas, everyone.
Keep your tree or gifts unique with weird Christmas ornaments. We've dug up the strangest, most undeniably ridiculous ornaments you won't believe exist.
