The Phallostethus cuulong is a member of the Phallostethus (Penis chest) family. Fish in this family have genitals conveniently located near their faces.
Thanks to National Geographic we now know there is a whole family of fish whose genitals are located right next to their mouths.
Now before you get all high-and-mighty about the weirdness of the engineering behind this location, remember what your genitals are right next to, aight?
Anyway, this awesome fish family is called Phallostethus, Greek for — get this — Penis Chest!
Scientist just discovered a new member of the Penis Chest family, which gave this NatGeo article the awesome occasion to explain how Penis Chest mates get nasty:
…the male uses its bony “priapium” to clasp a female while he inserts sperm into her urogential opening, also located on the head …
Head-to-head, if you will.
While most fish do their banging in the space of about 1.23 seconds, the Penis Chesters make some looooove, says Natural Museum of Natural History Fish Curator Lynne Parenti:
[They] “actually couple, staying together for a remarkable period of time.”
So not only do they f**k with their heads, they’re really good at it. Nature is awesome.