Day 1 of the RNC lasted all of 30 seconds before it was called due to Hurricane Isaac. This meant a more packed day two. A ton happened at the convention but here are the top 10 things you need to know so that you can look smart when your friends ask you what you think of the RNC.
1. It’s Officially Mitt
This was more of a formality but last night the GOP voted overwhelmingly to nominate Mitt Romney as their official candidate for presidency. Coulda been you Trump, coulda been you.
2. Ann Romney Got Sappy
The wannabe first lady gave a pretty OK speech that at times sounded more like the last scene of a John Hughes Movie. “I want to talk to you tonight about that one great thing that unites us… I want to talk to you about love,” she said. “Tonight I want to talk to you from my heart about our hearts.” Cute speech but more importantly, am I the only one that thinks that Ann Romney is a bit of a GILF?
3. Chris Christie Held His Own
Big Poppa himself closed out the day with a keynote speech that Republicans are calling “The greatest thing to ever happen since Jesus invented Twinkies” and Democrats are calling “A steaming pile of used Pluto Nash DVDs.” Christie spoke about lessons his mother taught him and about how he is a Republican representative from New Jersey despite the Garden State having a predominantly Democrat population. Overall, Christie spoke well and galvanized the GOP troops but didn’t provide any controversial soundbites.
4. Isaac Couldn’t Stop the GOP
The GOP went on with the convention after a delay via the giant balls of Hurricane Isaac.
BREAKING: Giant penis draped in rainbow flag spotted fleeing GOP National Convention. twitpic.com/aocf4z
#GOP2012— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) August 27, 2012
5. There Was a Disturbing Racist Moment
Apparently someone threw peanuts at a Black CNN camerawoman and yelled “This is how we feed animals.” The person was quickly escorted from the convention and it is unclear whether the culprit was a delegate or just an attendee.
6. Bobby Jindal Didn’t Show Up and then Wouldn’t Shut Up About It
OK! WE GET IT! YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO! Jindal reminds me of that pregnant lady at a party who does not shut up about how she can’t drink alcohol.
First, I will not be speaking or attending the Republican convention in Florida.
— Gov. Bobby Jindal (@BobbyJindal) August 27, 2012
Party conventions are interesting but there’s no time for politics here in Louisiana.
— Gov. Bobby Jindal (@BobbyJindal) August 27, 2012
This storm, like every other storm is non-partisan.This is a time when we must all come together.
— Gov. Bobby Jindal (@BobbyJindal) August 27, 2012
7. Protesters Were a No Show
If there was one good thing that Isaac did for the GOP it was force protesters to stay inside. There were to be an expected 5,000 protesters on the first day of the RNC but stormy conditions whittled that number down to a few hundred. Since then, there have been small pockets of protesters scattered throughout the city but as of today the anti-republican presence in Tampa has yet to be felt.
8. There Was Another Disturbing Racist Moment
Sooooooooo, apparently a bunch of people started chanting “USA! USA! USA!” when the chairwoman of the Committee on Permanent Organization started speaking in her native Puerto Rican accent.
On a scale of Brown V. Board of Education to Michael Richards, that was a State of Arizona.
9. Ron Paul Delegates Got Angry
Ron Paul delegates made a their presence known at the convention. First they were angry because the RNC changed the seating process rules so that Mitt Romney wouldn’t get embarrassed. Then they got angry because the announcers kept failing to announce Ron Paul’s tally of votes (not that it mattered). Awkwardly, when Ron Paul entered there was a loud cheer of “President Paul! President Paul!”
10. Everyone Wore a Cowboy Hat
