Japanese Porn Star Collects Twitter’s Semen

This is a beautiful little fairy tale about the wonders of the Internet and its ability to make dreams come (snicker) true. Once upon a time, there was a Japanese porn named Uta Kohaku. She was all set to star in a film heroically named Semen Collection 2. But then tragedy struck! How would they ever get the 100 bottles semen needed to do the movie?

It all seemed so doomed.

But wait! What’s that I hear? I think that’s …. yes! Yes, it is! That’s Twitter coming to the rescue!

Uta Kohaku turned to Twitter where she asked her fan to send her … erm … their personal donations. In came (snicker) 100 plastic bottles of semen, labeled with the donor’s name, from all over Japan. The Internet saved the day again!

As that brave brave lady later tweeted:
“Semen from around Japan has begun to arrive ⊂((・x・))⊃ I will care for them as if it were my own child.”

Now that’s what I call a sticky situation. Okay, that doesn’t really fit logically, but I had to say it at some point.

And they all lived happily ever after, the Japanese porn star and her 100 plastic bottles of strangers’ semen.

(h/t Gawker)