Law enforcement agencies around the country are struggling to deal with the rash of creepy clown sightings that are spreading quickly across the United States.
Throughout the country, police are warning the public that posing as a creepy clown could result in criminal charges and is behavior that’s scaring people.
However, some law enforcement officers didn’t stop there. Some of their responses are more comical than others. At least 33 states have experienced creepy clown sightings so far. Some clown sightings are just hoaxes or jokes, but law enforcement agencies around the country say they are taking them seriously and, in some cases, increasing patrols in areas where clowns were spotted.
Here are the funniest law enforcement reactions and quotes about “creepy clowns” invading their jurisdictions:
Police Chief Warns Town Clowns: ‘It’s Game Over Son!!!’
Police Chief Kenneth Hampton, of Tchula, Mississippi, is developing a reputation for not mincing words. In one recent Facebook post (about other criminals, not clowns), he wrote, “Now let’s get down to Business!!! The only question yall should be asking is WHO’S GONNA GET GOT FIRST and WHO’S NEXT!!! Damn I love my job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
So, it’s not surprising that he’s not going to stand for creepy clowns in his town. The chief saw a creepy clown himself and told WJTV: “Let’s just say there is a lot of boots in Tchula and he could be on the receiving end of several of them.”
He also wrote on the police department’s Facebook page: “To whom it may concern. Who ever you are running around in Tchula wearing a clown suit waving a sword and scaring the hell out of people, let me give you some advice. STOP IT!!!! Because if I roll up on you and you wave that damn sword at me. IT’S GAME OVER SON!!! I’m gonna teacha how da duggy!!! Chief Kenneth Hampton.”
Can You Shoot a Clown? In Utah, It Depends on the ‘Variables’
In a lengthy missive posted to Facebook, the Orem, Utah Police Department advised:
We understand that clowns to some people are already ‘creepy’ and some people have a phobia of them, we see that. However, if someone is standing on the sidewalk, dressed like a clown and they don’t have any weapons and they are just standing there not chasing anyone around and you call us, when we respond and that person decides to look at us and walk the other way without saying a word, we can’t do anything.
Somewhat hilariously, the police department opened its clown communication by saying: “Here’s seven words we never thought we’d be saying…..’Let’s have a serious talk about clowns.'”
The police say more than 40 people have called with clown questions and some asked whether they can legally shoot clowns: “Can I shoot or take action against someone that is dressed up like a clown”? The department suggests, “That’s not a simple yes or no question. It has a lot of variables to it.”
Here’s the entire post:
‘Ignore the Clowns’ – Even If 10 of Them Get out of a VW Bug
Really? Even then?
Deputy Chief Tracy Basterrechea, of the Meridian, Idaho Police Department, has a colorful way with words and a simple message for people afraid of creepy clowns: “Our message is ignore the clowns. If 10 of them get out of a VW bug, ignore it,” he said, according to KTVB.
To make sure the message got across, the police department reiterated its point on Twitter:
The community has dealt with its share of clown-related calls, including social media threats to a middle school.
‘Pop a Cap in the First Clown You See’
This cop quote is not really very funny; however, it certainly is colorful. It’s landed a Denton, Texas police officer in controversy, according to the Dallas Morning News.
The Morning News says Officer Latrice Pettaway wrote on Facebook, “This clown crap is really getting on my nerves,” and then allegedly advised:
Please handle it. Pop a cap in the first clown you see. Someone needs to just hit one and the rest of these fools will learn.
The department was looking into the social media posts, said the newspaper.
NYPD Anti-Terror ‘Honcho’ Speaks out on Clowns
The New York Police Department has more important issues on its hands than clowns. Things like terrorism threats.
Not surprisingly, the NYPD is advising people “don’t be afraid of clowns.” After all, the NYPD has crack investigators working hard on the clown threat. According to The New York Daily News, that message was delivered by “The NYPD’s anti-terror honcho” who said police had “drilled down” into clown reports before deeming the clowns harmless.
Connecticut Police Reveal They Prefer Homey the Clown & Can’t Spell Krusty
The Naugutuck, Connecticut police have been investigating school clown social media posts, and, in a Facebook post on the investigation, the Police Department revealed police only like Homey the Clown and “Crusty” the Clown.
“And last …. will I ever again ‘like’ clowns …. well …. its not likely …. they are creepy characters …. and the only ones I really ever liked were ‘Homey the clown’ and ‘Crusty the clown’ … hardly the clown ambassadors … The jury will need to remain out on this question folks ….”
A Facebook comment writer immediately notified the police that it’s actually spelled Krusty.
In another post, the police advised parents to “relax,” writing, “Hi all … just an update to all you parents out there – ALL IS WELL!! The schools are all in session and the day has been very uneventful … except for learning … there is much learning taking place … and clown free learning at that …”
At Least Cows Can’t Juggle or Pack Themselves Into Clown Cars
Say what? That was the message from the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Department in Nebraska. The department has received reports of creepy clown sightings but hasn’t found a clown.
“We only have cows out creeping around,” said Chief Deputy Roland Kramer of the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office, according to the NpTelegraph. “And a few coyotes.”
According to the news site “Kramer pointed out that cows cannot juggle or pack themselves into little cars, they don’t generally wear makeup and they’re likely not a threat.”
Police Warn Clowns That ‘Many Texans Carry Firearms’
Clowns beware: Texas is not friendly turf for clowning around.
Police in Keller, Texas, had a warning for clowns, according to the Fort Worth Star Telegram: “To the pranksters: We encourage you to keep in mind that certain types of threats, particularly against schools, can be prosecuted as felonies. Also, that many Texans carry firearms.”
Discuss on Facebook