Sol Pais’ Journals Show Fixation With Guns, Columbine

A website in the name of Sol Pais contains page after scribbled page of journal entries that show a fixation with guns and document severe depression and hopelessness. There are also references to the Columbine school shooting.

The website, which you enter by clicking on a skull, takes its user on a tortured journey inside the mind of a young woman whose life appeared to be spiraling toward death. One journal entry appears to include a drawing of one of the Columbine shooters:

You can see more excerpts from the journals throughout this article. Be aware that some of them are graphic and disturbing.

Sol Pais, a South Florida teenager whom authorities say was “infatuated” with the Columbine massacre and its perpetrators, became the subject of a massive manhunt in Colorado after authorities said a “potential credible threat” led Columbine High School and other schools to close. It all led to a frightening few days for parents and students as the 20th anniversary of that massacre approaches.

Pais, of Surfside, Florida, was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound not “terribly far” from Columbine, the local sheriff said on April 17, 2019, after a series of schools closed their doors because, initially, authorities could not find the troubled teen.

“We can confirm that Sol Pais is deceased. We are grateful to everyone who submitted tips and to all our law enforcement partners for their efforts in keeping our community safe,” the FBI said on Twitter. The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office confirmed that Pais died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A woman hiking in near Mount Evans told a local news station she was asked to leave by police because, “a naked woman matching the description with a gun was spotted in the area running through the woods.” The news station reported that 20 to 30 officers, including members of a SWAT team, were spotted in the area.

Authorities had previously declared that Sol Pais was infatuated with Columbine and was “armed and dangerous,” saying she had flown to the Littleton, Colorado area, purchased a shotgun, and then disappeared.

The online writings in the name Sol Pais show a disturbed and depressed mentality. Heavy has reviewed a disturbing website and a Listography profile that link to the website. Authorities have not confirmed or denied whether the postings and journal entries belong to the now deceased Sol Pais. However, the pages, which date back to at least last August 2018, use the name Sol Pais and the listography, which links to the website, contains a photo of a woman who looks extremely similar to the law enforcement photos released of the suspect. Furthermore, according to The Miami Herald, Miami police detectives found Pais’ “deeply disturbed” online postings after her parents reported her missing, which led to the FBI’s involvement. When that agency determined that she had flown to the Denver area, that led to the public outreach.

The 20th anniversary of the Columbine massacre was only days away on April 20.

Here’s what you need to know about the website and journal entries:

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The Website Uses the Name ‘Dissolved Girl’ & Contains Hand Drawings of Guns

The website exists under the username “Dissolved Girl” online. Journal entries and pages on the website contain the name Sol and Sol Pais.

“Being alive is f*cking overrated,” one page reads. “How do I pull it out of me? I’m f*cking empty.”

“Be the best killer you can be,” reads the tagline to the listography page that links to the Sol Pais website. Under the header “to do in my lifetime,” the page listed, “self destruct, burn out, walk away, reject apologies, fade.” There is also a last.fm page with the same bio picture as the website in the name Sol Pais. Its user listened to a flurry of music through the afternoon of April 15, most recently “Nine Inch Nails — Burn – From ‘Natural Born Killers’ Soundtrack.”

One of the scribbled diary pages on the website reads in part, “The fact of the matter is I was the one unfortunate enough to be Sol…I know my time is running out. And I am ensuring that my time is running out. Life is much easier when everything leads up to one day, one day which you know will occur.”

The website and Listography pages in the same name contain very disturbing comments.

A January 15, 2019 entry on the website reads, “I feel like a pot of scolding (sic) water on the verge of boiling over… so dangerously close to spilling over.. and what that may cause is yet to be seen and most likely a hazard, to myself and others. i’m afraid of my currently unknown capacity for pain and misery and anger. each time it gets exponentially worse and worse. my soul is in deep suffering and dis-belonging. i have done quite a good job at keeping all of the explosive energy inside of me but every time… worse and worse. and worse.”

An entry from September 2018 reads, “i wish i could distance myself from everybody in this f*cking world, as far away as possible from this poison that is the human race. i can’t stand anybody that surrounds me, i don’t wanna hear anymore human’s voices, only about 10 of them or less that i can stand to be around, but only one voice i truly want to hear every day and yet i can’t… life is merciless and i will always question why this universe decided to create humans.. ”

You enter the website by clicking on a skull.

The website contains more than 60 scanned in spiral notebook pages from a journal; the last page is signed “Sol Pais” on March 31, 2019 and contains the lyrics from a Nine Inch Nails song, “Now I just stare into the sun. And I see everything I’ve done. I think I could’ve been someone. But I can’t stop what has begun.”

Here’s another excerpt:

Her last journal entry was dated March 31, 2019. The entry includes lyrics to the Nine Inch Nails song and is signed Sol Pais:

An Instagram page that links to the website referred to “Dyl” in a comment to another person, an apparent reference to Columbine killer Dylan Klebold.

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The Website Contains What Appears to Be Columbine References

One journal entry appears to refer to the Columbine massacre anniversary. “Had a dream last night about the future and it was eye opening. Was only a week away from the day and I had my [expletive] shotgun…” it reads.

The bottom of the website contains the tagline “1999 – the nobodies.” The Nobodies is a song by Marilyn Manson that was inspired by the 1999 Columbine school shooting, as well as John Lennon’s killer’s comment that he “felt like a nobody,” according to the Marilyn Manson encyclopedia.

That song contains these lyrics:

We are the nobodies
Wanna be somebodies
When we’re dead
They’ll know just who we are
We are the nobodies
Wanna be somebodies
When we’re dead
They’ll know just who we are
Some children died the other day
We fed machines and then we prayed
Puked up and down in morbid faith
You should have seen the ratings that day

While Sol Pais appears to have drawn pictures of the Columbine shooters and of guns, photos being shared on social media of tattoos that claim to be on her legs of guns and of the Columbine gunmen appear to be fake. The tattoo pictures purporting to be connected to Pais are either real images of tattoos that have been online for several years or are photoshopped.

As for other social media accounts, Sol Pais had no obvious Facebook or Twitter pages. There is a privatized Instagram page that links to the above website.

With the 20th anniversary of the Columbine school shooting looming in just days, authorities were taking no chances. “Colorado changed 20 years ago,” authorities said in an evening press conference, adding that the law enforcement cooperation that arose in response to the Pais situation derived from that trauma.

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Authorities Said Sol Pais Expressed ‘Infatuation’ With Columbine & She Appears to Have Sought Advice on a Gun Forum

The Miami office of the FBI first identified a possible threat involving Pais on the morning of April 16, authorities alleged.

“She has made some concerning comments in the past. She has expressed an infatuation with Columbine and the shooting events that happened there tragically 20 years ago,” officials said at an evening press conference. That concerned authorities. They then allegedly discovered that she flew to the Denver area, left the airport and then obtained a pump-action shotgun and ammunition from a store, according to Dean Phillips, the special-agent-in-charge of the FBI in Denver.

On March 29, two days before the date of the last journal entry on her apparent website, Pais posted on a gun forum asking about how a non-Colorado resident could purchase a shotgun there. On the website for “proud gun owners,” a user with the same username as the one Sol Pais appeared to have used on her website wrote, “hello everybody. Florida resident here. I am planning a trip to Colorado in the next month or so and wanna buy a shotgun while I’m there and I was wondering what restrictions apply for me? I’ve found a few private sellers I might want to purchase from; is it legal for me as a Florida resident to purchase a shotgun in Colorado? I’m 18 years old too, if it’s important. thank you for reading, i appreciate any response!”

Pais appears to have joined the gun message board in January 2019. Her signature on the site reads, “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety,” a quote from Benjamin Franklin.

Two users gave advice on the post. One wrote, “If you do not have a valid Colorado driver’s license, you can buy a long gun (rifle or shotgun), and take it with you. For handgun purchases, you could buy it but you would have to have the dealer transfer it to a dealer with a Federal Firearms License (FFL), in your home state and you could pick it up there. If you live in one of the neighboring states this is a fairly common occurrence and a simple procedure.” Another said, “It is legal from a legal FFL, but not from a private party.”

The user appearing to be Pais responded, “so, as a follow up: does anybody know if it’s legal for me as an 18 year old to purchase a shotgun from an FFL if I reside in Florida instead of Colorado?”

After getting more advice, the user revealed her plans. “first of all, thank you for taking the time to answer my question and in that extent – i really do appreciate it. i’m flying in but plan on coming back in car for a road trip, and i’m aware of the law requiring that the gun be stored in a locked container, etc. i have it all planned out, have friends coming with me who own guns and know what they’re doing. i’m currently in the process of contacting both CO and FL gun stores but just wanted a second opinion, gun laws can get tricky and i want the most info i can get, even if i have to take it with a grain of salt.

The user added, “to answer your question, i just wanted to take the opportunity of this trip to buy a shotgun and go shooting/hunting somewhere nicer than FL, lol, and with friends who know more than I do. CO forests beat FL forests any day. plus if i bought the gun in FL i’d have to go through the trouble of dealing with the airport but driving back should be a simpler process. thank you again for your response!”

In another post, the user added, “i’m located in Miami (unfortunately), a majority of the people I come across here aren’t big fans of guns in general lol. i’d love to meet like minded people that live near me; the only IRL conversations I’ve had about guns with people have been in gun shops/ranges with strangers. I’ll look for shotgun clubs! thank you so much!”

When alerted to the fact that the user they had been interacting with was likely now the subject of a massive FBI manhunt, one forum member replied, “Well that’s kind of scary.”

Sol Pais has had an “infatuation with Columbine and the perpetrators of Columbine,” authorities revealed. They said the comments were “mostly spoken.” However, they said there was no threat made toward a specific school. They didn’t reveal the specific comments.