Stassi Schroeder Shares Heartbreaking Secret About Her Past Experience With Self-Harm

Heavy/Getty/Bravo Stassi Schroeder.

Stassi Schroeder opened up about a heartbreaking moment she shared with her daughter and how she will someday have to explain it further to her.

In an interview with Bustle published on September 5, 2024, the former “Vanderpump Rules” star revealed that her 3-year-old daughter, Hartford, noticed a scar on her body. The scar was from Schroeder’s past experimentation with self-harm.

“When I look at myself naked, Hartford will see a little line, and she’ll be like, ‘Mommy, ouchie,’” Schroeder shared in the interview. “I’m like, ‘Oh, God, that feels dirty. How will I ever explain to her that this was something that I chose?’”

Schroeder has not previously talked about her experiences with self-harm. In her upcoming third book, “You Can’t Have It All,” she also opened up about her past suicidal thoughts and Adderall addiction, Bustle reported.

As for why she is now sharing the stories of the past, darker period in her life, the mom of two explained, “It just feels like it’s been a secret, and I don’t like secrets. I think that’s part of maybe why I do what I do — podcasts, just living out loud. Because there is this feeling of: ‘I’m free. Everyone knows my [expletive]. I don’t have to hide anything.’”

Stassi Schroeder Addressed Her Past Issues With Substance Abuse

GettyStassi Schroeder.

“Vanderpump Rules” fans saw some of Schroeder’s outbursts on past seasons of the Bravo reality show. What fans didn’t know at the time was that Schroeder was taking the prescription drug Adderall, sometimes with alcohol.

Schroeder addressed her drug use during the “Vanderpump Rules” season 7 reunion after her then-boyfriend Beau Clark talked about a drunken, “dark passenger” meltdown she had during a cast trip to Mexico. “I think it’s old stuff and her insecurities combined together with alcohol and it all comes out,” Clark said. “I don’t think it’s some deep thing that it’s her persona. It’s not Stassi.”

Schroeder then admitted that she mixed Adderall with alcohol. “I want to figure out what it is that’s making me like this. And I hurt my friends, I hurt him, I hurt myself,” she said. “And that was a moment where I was like — and I didn’t want to, like, full-on come out and say this, but I’m not gonna take Adderall again. Like, I’m not gonna do that.”

Adderall is a prescription medication used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder and the sleep disorder Narcolepsy, per WebMD. The drug is sometimes misused recreationally as a stimulant.

During her reunion confession, Schroeder told Bravo host Andy Cohen that she “completely” stopped taking Adderall.

Stassi Schroeder Talked About ‘Dark Passengering’

GettyStassi Schroeder and Beau Clark.

Schroeder has talked about her dark moments, which she has dubbed “dark passengering.” In a 2023 appearance on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, she said her dark alter-ego “became a thing” when she started dating Clark.

“I would go absolutely psycho on him,” she said. “Like I mean breaking phones, texting him 73 times in a row, yelling, screaming. Threatening things, like violence, when I wouldn’t get my way.”

Schroeder said the episodes would occur when she wanted to go home early, and the more social Clark would want to stay out. “I’ve always had like a trigger when it came to that,” Schroeder said, adding that in light of the “Scandoval” cheating scandal she feels “validated.”

“It’s like shady things in that group of friends always happen after hours so I would start freaking out. Like, why does he want to be out with my friends and not coming home with me?” she explained. “And I would go just insane on him. That’s why he would call it the Dark Passenger, it’s like I would literally see red. Like, anger’s the only motion that overtakes me. I see red. I can’t control it, I can’t stop myself.”

Schroeder previously said her pregnancy saved her from spiraling after she was fired from “Vanderpump Rules” amid a racism scandal.  According to Us Weekly, in an episode of “The Good, The Bad, The Baby” podcast, Schroeder told Clark, “I think [it] made me so much better to be pregnant while I was going through a hard time.”

“If I wasn’t pregnant, I probably would have just like … gone to alcoholism, Xanax,” she said. “I would have lashed out, dark passenger-ed. And I think our baby 100 percent saved me.”

 If you or someone you know is struggling or in emotional crisis, help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Please call or test the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.  If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, help is available by calling the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.