Allison Holker Explains Why She Stopped Dancing After Husband tWitch’s Death

Heavy/Getty Allison Holker.

Allison Holker gave fans an update on her life more than one year after the death of her husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss. The former “Dancing With the Stars” pro dancer, whose new book, “Keep Dancing Through,” was co-written with her late husband, said dance helped get her family get through their massive loss – although she put dancing on pause for a while.

Speaking with Entertainment Tonight on January 16, 2024, Holker, 35, admitted that she didn’t dance for “almost five months” after her husband’s death.

“[Dance] so close to every memory I really share with Stephen,” she said. “There [were] parts of me that didn’t know if I was ready. It almost felt like maybe if I dance for the first time it’s my final release of him. I don’t know if I was trying to hold onto him or if I was scared to share that with him. I’m not sure which one it was but it took me a very long time to do it. “

On December 13, 2022, Boss, died by suicide at age 40. Holker had been married to the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” producer since 2013,  The couple frequently posted dance videos together and with their kids Weslie, 15, Maddox, 7, and Zaia, 3.

Allison Holker Finally Shared a Dance Video in August 2023

In May 2023, Holker told People magazine that she was still hesitant to dance months after her husband’s death. “I haven’t danced yet,” she said at the time. “I’ve wiggled with my kids here and there… but I haven’t yet. I know that I will get there. I will.”

“That will probably be, honestly, my last step into healing,” she added.  “The healing will be going on forever. I know that’s gonna be a big step for me, but I’ll get there.”

In August of that year, Holker finally posted a dance video after trading moves with pal Brittany Perry-Russell. “Truly felt so good to dance again,” she captioned the clip on Instagram. “I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. I was both scared and excited. But dance has always been there for me… even now and I am so grateful for that.’ She thanked her friend for making the experience  “so fun” and “safe.”

In 2024, Holker told ET she called Russell when she felt ready to dance again. “I didn’t want to do it alone, I was too scared to do it alone,” she added. “[Brittany] came over, and we danced, and I feel like I just got so much off of me, and I actually felt so connected to Stephen, and I felt so connected to myself and to her and my home… It was such a great release for myself.”

Allison Holker Explained How Dance Helps Her Family Now

In the interview, Holker said she’s keeping the “dancing through” message as a mantra for herself and her children.

“The only thing I can do is keep dancing through,” she said. “I just put on music, and we go wild,” she said.  “It’s like in our house when we start dancing, it’s just freedom. I just allow my kids to be kids and express themselves through movement, and you can feel so much angst leaving their body. I have found it to be a really healing thing for us individually.”

In September, Holker posted a video of her dancing with her two youngest children on National Dance Day.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to reach the toll-free Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It’s available 24 hours a day, seven days a week (dial 888-628-9454 for assistance in Spanish). You can also speak with a trained crisis counselor anytime by texting HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.

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