Over/Under on Number of Times John Boehner Cries at the RNC
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Over/Under on Number of Times John Boehner Cries at the RNC

Poor, poor John Boehner. First he’s known only for the fact than his name looks like it should be pronounced Boner. Then it’s for his skin being so orange you’d think either you can peel him to yummy fruit inside or he’s related to Snooki. And then it’s for his crying. Like actual crying, not just complaining. He’s basically a giant orange man baby who openly sobs the second he experiences a feeling. So the question becomes, what is the over/under for number of times he cries at the Republican National Convention?

The Republican National Convention (RNC) was supposed to start today but was postponed due to Hurricane Isaac. (Really? A hurricane with a biblical name shuts down your convention and you don’t see this as a sign? Every other national disaster you blame on those sinful libruhls and gays because clearly God is angry, but nothing on this one?) But don’t worry, the festivities will go ahead as planned tomorrow.

[poll id=”24″]Starting tomorrow we have three days of Republican speeches, invocations, flag-waving, buttons, balloons, and other nonsense, which also means we have a lot of John Boehner crying to look forward to. I’m going to go ahead and put the over/under for number of Boehner cries at six.

Keep in mind that multiple shots of him crying during a single speech still count as one cry. If he continuously cries throughout Mitt Romney’s nauseating drivel Thursday night and they cut to him multiple times throughout the speech, that’s only one cry. Furthermore, a lot of the convention won’t be covered, so when Boehner inevitably cries during each invocation and national anthem, we won’t know about it, so it won’t count.

Given those parameters, I think six is a fair spot to place the over/under. How many times do you think John Boehner will cry during the RNC?

It’s strange that the Speaker of the House and third in line for the presidency is such an epic crybaby. When even Barbara Walters and the rest of The View thinks you cry too much, you might have a problem.

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