There was an interesting news story to come out of Philadelphia today. It gets confusing if you try to report it like a regular news article, so I’ll explain it more like a short story full of national security threats, bombs, planes, and lewd photos. Here goes. This man, Christopher Shell, breaks up with his girlfriend. Simple so far, yeah? And like any healthy 21st century relationship, he has “compromising” photos of her. The girlfriend says whatever and gets a new boyfriend, Kenneth Smith Jr.
Christopher Shell, a bit of an e-dick.
For one reason or another Christopher Shell is a bit of a dick and puts one of these “compromising photos” of his ex-girlfriend up on Facebook and then decides to hop a plane from Philadelphia to Dallas. The new boyfriend, Kenneth Smith Jr., finds out about Christopher Shell being an e-dick and decides the best thing to do is to call the authorities and fabricate a lie that Christopher Shell is on that plane to Dallas with explosives. Great idea, buddy.
Richard Quinn, FBI Special Agent for National Security and Petty Domestic Squabbles
The authorities take this very seriously (obviously), ground the plane and remove Christopher Shell for questioning. The police find no explosive materials on the plane and after questioning Shell for a bit they clear and release him. The police then charged Kenneth Smith Jr. with a long list of offenses. The avenging boyfriend could now face up to 10 years in prison and pay a fine of $250,000.
Christopher Shell hopped on a later plane and made it to Dallas without incident. Except that he was arrested for an outstanding warrant he had in Dallas for possession of marijuana. Idiots all around.