Florida Governor Signs Law to Kill People Faster

Rick Scott. Getty Images

People from Florida have it hard this month. First they find out the government is spying on them, and now their state government is trying to kill them faster. That’s right, today Republican Governor Rick Scott officially signed House Bill 7083 also known ominously as the “Timely Justice Act of 2013.”

The act will closes bureaucratic loop holes so that those sentenced to death “do not languish on death row for decades.” I guess what Rick Scott calls “languishing” the rest of us just call living.

The other objectives of the bill are:

Oh I forgot to add, the last directive of the bill “requires the Governor sign a death warrant scheduling the execution…”

That’s right, there is a stipulation that the governor gets to schedule the death warrant and symbolically sign the prisoner’s life away with a signature. Maybe Rick Scott would like to flip the switch as well?

You can read the rest of Governor Scott’s letter pertaining the bill below:

It’s not all that bad though, Governor Scott also signed SB142 today. That bill officially changes the phrase “mental retardation” to “intellectual disability” in all Florida state legislation. Great job Florida, welcome to 1974!