Ash Haffner: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

Ashlyn Haffner Facebook


A transgender 16-year-old in North Carolina committed suicide shortly after he had begun his transition into a man. In a string of notes left on Ash Haffner’s iPad, he spoke about the bullying he received.

Here’s what you need to know about the tragic struggle of Ash Haffner:

1. Haffner Didn’t ‘Want to Be Remembered as the ‘Fa**ot Gay Girl With Scars on Her Arms’



On February 26, Haffner walked in front of a car, killing himself. The suicide was prompted by bullying, according to his mother, April Quick. The Union County Sheriff’s Department is investigating the case a suicide. In one of the many notes he left on his iPad, which April Quick has posted on her Facebook page, Haffner wrote:

I don’t want to be remembered as the fa**ot gay girl with all the scars on her arm. Unfortunately that’s who I am to a lot of people…I just didn’t understand why I felt the way I did when I had a decent life. Just remember me as someone who understood and stayed strong for as long as I could.

In another note, Haffner wrote, “Please be WHO YOU ARE… Do it for yourself. Do it for your happiness. That’s what matters in YOUR life. You don’t need approval on who you are. Don’t let people or society change who you are just because they’re not satisfied with your image.” A few days after his death, April returned to the spot where Haffner committed suicide in Indian Trail, North Carolina, and placed flowers and a balloon. She told WSOC-TV, “Ash had been so strong for years. Ash started enduring the most bullying when she cut her hair short.”

2. His Mother Says She Is ‘So Lost’ Without Ash

There has been an outpouring of support for Haffner and his family on social media with the hashtag “#doitforash” trending in North Carolina. His classmates at Porter Ridge High School held a vigil in his honor while also speaking out against bullying. WSOC-TV reported on the vigil, saying, “A large group circled the school rock, which was painted with a rainbow in honor of Ash. Family and friends lit candles, shared memories of the teen and pleaded for acceptance of all people.” A website, Do It For Ash, has also been set up in his honor.

In a heartbreaking Facebook post on March 11, his mother wrote:

It’s almost been two weeks & I’m so lost without you…You are missed & loved by everyone. I’ve been braving trying to go through your videos & photos. I’m so thankful you took Soooo many I love hearing your voice…It’s painful, but I’m blessed at the same time to have all this. When it gets really hard, I’ll come across something that just makes me laugh. I miss all the laughter you brought & all the funny things you did. I miss you!!

3. Ash Began Dating Girls in Eighth Grade

Ash at the Pride parade in Charlotte during the summer of 2014.

Ash at the Pride parade in Charlotte during the summer of 2014. (Twitter)

April Quick told the Enquirer-Journal that that in eighth grade Haffner came out to her about his interest in girls. Quick says she told Ash — who at that point was a lesbian and not identifying as transgender — “I will not love you any differently. I will not look at you any differently.” Quick added that she didn’t feel a single incident of bullying led Ash to his tragic decision but that it was pent up rage over time. In a separate interview with WSOC-TV Quick mentioned that she attended Charlotte’s Pride parade during the summer of 2014.

4. Ash Was a Passionate Musician

Ash was a musician whose music videos have been posted to YouTube by his mother since his death. On a tribute Facebook page for him, his mother posted one of his music clips, saying, “A reminder that Ash ‘loves’ you, I love you and we need to love one another. I am so touched seeing how many people have come together to turn Ash’s tragedy and any one else who has gone through/is going through tough times into something positive. Let’s continue to spread Ash’s voice not only for Ash but for EVERYONE!!”

5. Transgender Teens Are Far More Likely to Attempt Suicide

In October, Ash posted this poster on his Facebook page.

In October, Ash posted this poster on his Facebook page.

transgender suicide, leelah alcorn

On the CDC’s website, the section on LGBT Youth reads:

Some LGBTQ youth are more likely than their heterosexual peers to experience difficulties in their lives and school environments, such as violence.

The page also says that LGBTQ youths in grades 7-12 were twice as likely to have attempted suicide than their heterosexual peers.

In one study specifically of transgender students, a shocking 25 percent of those surveyed had attempted suicide.




Ash was my best friend!! You are an ass hole John at the top, and you need to find something else better than to pick on HIM. I am tired of hearing all of this bull shit about HIM. I am still grieving HIS death so you can just go die in a hole you ignorant ass hole backwoods redneck motherf***er


Oh and Trip was HIS nick name before HE died and the last time I spoke to HIM HE told me that if HE ever died I could take it over


STOP referring to this individual as a male. SHE was very, very confused. SHE was the cause of her own depression by not accepting the gender God gave HER. All of this liberal PC talk about who and what you “identify” with has got to come to an end. I could identify with being a damned unicorn and run around with a horn duct taped to my forehead; it doesn’t make me a unicorn.

The real issue at hand here is the poor person whose life is now damaged forever; the driver of the car. I refuse to grieve for a selfish GIRL who caused a perfectly innocent person a lifetime of regret and sadness.

Go get therapy, because you won’t find acceptance here.


John i erased the first reply I made. I started to insult you and that’s not fair you have an opinion. That’s great that everyone can have a opinion. I am a strait male and my opinion is different there is a huge tragdedy in this story, yes that driver is defiantly one of them my heart goes out to them! The mother of this child that took there own life my heart goes out to her! It doesn’t matter if this girl felt like she was suppose to be a man that was someone’s child God forbid john if you have children and one of them comits suicide! Ash was a child! With so many real problems in the world why worry about how a person believes the should have been born? Or what they want to call themselves guy/girl? It doesnt matter in the big picture! Bullying is bullying doesn’t matter what the reasons are! John I wish you the best I hope one day you can look at things from another prospective! Ash RIP


I hope you find peace within yourself. Because clearly something is wrong that is preventing you from loving and accepting everyone for who they are. May luck be with you.


I hope your referring to john not me I’m at peace!

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