Even Jesus isn’t safe from your totally tacky tastes in holiday fashion. If you’re looking to dress your most obnoxiously offensive at the next ugly sweater party, these nightmarish knits guarantee that you will, indeed, win the award for political incorrectness at every level.
Check out these awesomely inappropriate Christmas sweaters for all your holiday outings and grab a few as special gifts for someone you love (or don’t!)
After a long night of flying around the world, it’s no wonder that Santa and Rudolf have to relieve themselves, but you’d better just hope that it’s not from your rooftop. This inappropriate Christmas sweater comes complete with a light-up Santa pee stream and sparkly tinkle from Rudolf too.
Despite the fact that it lights up, this 100 percent cotton ugly sweater is machine washable and easy care. The color-changing LED lights make quite the splash (pun intended) in the dark, and the nifty battery pack will keep them flashing all night long. In the realm of ugly Christmas sweaters, this one’s a doozie for you or as a gift for someone you love, or don’t.
As the old saying goes, don’t eat yellow snow, and the Yellow Snow Ugly Christmas Sweater looks like Santa had one too many egg nogs and decided it was time to spread some of his Christmas cheer. If you’re not looking for a light-up sweater, this cushy, soft acrylic sweater washes beautifully and gets a lot of laughs too.
The reindeer on the front of this inappropriate Christmas sweater have gone beyond frisky, and moved into downright brazen buck behavior. Who knew that rut extended through the holidays? Because you don’t want to have to explain this tacky sweater to your kids, you might want to keep this for an ugly Christmas sweater party that’s strictly for adults only.
If you’d prefer these badly behaved bovines on a zip neck style ugly sweater, this red number is a perfectly inappropriate option for either men or women.
And hey, reindeer aren’t the only horny animals around the North Pole at Christmas. The Polar Bear Pair Ugly Christmas Sweater is proof positive that cold climates make all the animals desire some closer contact.
As if seeing Santa’s ample white behind isn’t enough to give you recurring holiday nightmares, it gets worse. It’s the scene of Santa in a thong that simply goes over the top. (We’d take plummer’s crack over this.) Whatever you do, don’t let small children see this or they may be damaged for life. This 100 percent acrylic ugly sweater is easy care and retains its shape well, and it’s available in sizes small to XX-Large.
There’s nothing that gets you in the holiday spirit like a little drinking humor, right? The drinking game inappropriate Christmas sweater is perfect for those parties where responsible imbibing isn’t on the table. This sweater does tend to run a bit large, so if you’re looking for that saggy, baggy look, it’s a great option.
Prefer a little liquor humor instead? The Drinking Santa sweater features the jolly old elf and that legendary reindeer looking like the morning after their Christmas Eve flight was pretty rough.
Clearly Frosty has a little snowman envy and he’s not going to take it anymore. This ugly Christmas sweater paints an irreverent Christmas picture that’s turned into a crime scene with the theft of a single carrot. While I wouldn’t encourage the kids to build snowmen like these, you will definitely take the top prize for tacky with this one.
When a 90’s rock tune turns holiday sweater, things quite naturally go wrong. That’s the best way to describe this hilarious ugly Christmas sweater, with Santa reaching out to touch his grumpy elf. This cotton/poly crew neck Christmas sweatshirt is machine washable, so you can wear this tacky top until you or your friends are tired of laughing about it. This could easily win an award at your next sweater contest, so get some tiny trophies to carry around proving your ugly sweater prowess.
If you happen to be sporting this ugly Christmas sweater, be sure not to wear it around little kids. The disturbing scene of Santa barbecuing Rudolph on the spit might be too much for them to bear. This 100% cotton crew neck, has cleverly appliqued designs including Santa, his out of control sleigh, and toys and packages scattered about. Poor Rudolph’s tongue is hanging out as he cooks over the fire. This would be perfectly inappropriate attire for your office party or a gathering of friends.
Whether it brings back memories of the cat biting the Christmas lights, or you’re channeling Clark Griswold as you decorate your holiday house, this light-up Christmas sweater is the perfect thing to wear. The unisex design features a navy blue background with snowflakes and a ridiculously over-decorated house that actually lights up with tiny LEDs. Now that’s our kind of Christmas Vacation outfit. Get this unisex sweater in sizes from Small to 3X-Large.
Who knew that Santa was actually a zombie? I guess for bad little boys and girls everywhere, zombie Santa eats their happy little dream-filled brains in lieu of leaving a load of gifts. This ugly Christmas sweater will give people chills with the desperate hands reaching up from the grave and creepy floating candy canes all over the rest. Knitted into the design, Santa appears to be snacking on some kind of goo. Is it brains or just yellow Christmas cookie frosting? Who knows? If you’re into the zombie mystique, this is the totally nightmarish knitwear for you.
Presidential parody might not be PC at any other time except Christmas, and this sweater mocks one of 45’s favorite and oft used phrases, “fake news.” This red, white and blue combo shows the prez giving a thumbs up to “fake trees” for the holiday season. All parties will surely get a chuckle out of this one, no matter their political affiliations.
If Frosty actually wore shorts, he’d be takin’ it them, because with a reindeer on the lookout for stray carrots it looks like he’s about to lose his snowmanhood. This ugly sweater features a black and white starlit sky, along with the funny forest scene, with black and white striped ribbed cuffs, collar and waist. This one would be great for holiday pub crawls and anywhere else with an adults-only audience.
We’re not really sure why so many ugly sweaters depict poor helpless snowmen, defenseless against the odds, but in this Christmas sweater our man in white gets showered with a little gift no snowman would wish for.
When it comes to tacky Christmas sweaters, this irreverent option is an homage to the man upstairs in a totally tacky way. Made of washable, 100 percent acrylic, this blue number features Jesus looking ever so humble, and holding a cross, while festive birthday decorations float from the top to the bottom, and a saying proclaiming it’s party time.
Looking for something worthy of wearing to your church coffee hour (or not!)? The Jesus Party Savior sweater features the son of God with a glass of wine in hand.
This ugly Christmas sweater is a bold way to proclaim your Christmas spirit, or flaunt your aversion to the whole season. With a predominantly black, manly design, this sweater isn’t for sissies who are afraid to say how they feel. Snowflakes intersperse with hands giving more than a thumbs up to this happy holiday season. Slip this V-neck on with a pair of black slacks and make a grand entrance into your corporate Christmas party. It’s sure to be a hit with the boss.
Nothing conjures up those warm feelings of Christmas like a unicorn vomiting up candy canes, mints and little sparkly stars, right? Well, maybe not, but the fact of the matter is that this ugly Christmas sweater delivers even more glam and sparkle because it lights up the tip top of the unicorn horn as well as the field of candy vomit. So clever. Just be prepared to horrify all your little nieces and nephews who might be miffed at your disrespect for their favorite mythical beast.
Knit in a classic red and green combo, this tacky topper will go perfectly with all of your most beloved holiday attire, from red pajama pants to designer jeans.
Frosty’s in a wicked snowball fight, and the competition has him just about to lose his head. This ugly Christmas sweater gets high marks for being even funnier on the back than it is on the front. As the snow war progresses the angry snowman rips off his head and takes aim at the opponent. You’ll love the added detail of the snowman’s cute muffler that hangs loosely on both front and back.
You don’t have to be a big, burly guy to look like (or mock) a tough biker dude this Christmas. The Faux Real biker ugly Christmas sweater, complete with tattoos, is bound to be the baddest sweater at your holiday party. This sweater serves up a photorealistic design of an ugly Christmas sweater cardigan under a leather vest.
The entire ensemble is covered with Christmas-themed bling, like the faux necklace proclaiming “I break cookies.” It features some awesome, authentic-looking tattoo sleeves. Best thing about this ugly sweater? It’s all on a tee shirt, so you get the look of an ugly sweater, but the comfort of a T-shirt. No bulk or itch here!
Imagine the blow to a snowman’s ego. Is it a case of carrot envy or just more proof that even in snowman land, size matters? Judging by the hilarious expressions on the Daiseyboutique Holiday Snowman Ugly Sweater, we’re guessing it’s the latter. This soft and thick sweater will be a favorite for all your holiday adventures, and there’s sure to be someone on your Christmas gift list that needs this, right?
The Snowman Nose Thief Sweater by Tipsy Elves shows what can happen when snowmen turn on each other. One discovers that his key attribute is missing, while his snow pal nearby is suddenly sporting a remarkable joie de vivre! This hilarious and completely inappropriate Christmas sweater is the perfect blue and grey color combo to wear with jeans or slacks. It features a playful snowflake spangled background, with a white and blue striped neckline and cuff pattern.
Far from the dreams of sugar plum fairies is the vision of Santa as a pin-up model. In this semi-horrifying holiday sweater, the old man himself is posed, reclining naked on a polar bear rug, in front of a crackling fire. It looks like he’s cracked open a beer or bottle of champagne to celebrate. Thankfully a carefully placed present in front of him conceals his other Christmas “package” from view!
While this sweater is terrifically tacky, if you’re not yet undone by the thought of Santa mostly naked, check out Santa as bodybuilder on this sweater. Both of these sweaters come in a wide range of sizes, so you can get one for men, women, or teens.
The life of a snowman is apparently fraught with unexpected trauma, especially from the creatures of nature. This inappropriate Christmas sweater features the poor hapless snowman looking horrified as he gets a golden shower from the neighborhood pooch. This cozy and warm ugly sweater is made of 100 percent cotton and features a brightly appliqued design, making it a standout for all your ugly Christmas sweater parties and gatherings where an offbeat sense of humor can be fully appreciated.
This sweater is a pretty snug fitting option, so if you’re looking for more of a baggy grandpa sweater look, you might want to go up a size. This hilarious Christmas sweater is a terrific gift idea for your siblings or father-in-law.
It takes more than a stiff south wind to melt Frosty, but no snowman’s savings are safe from a snowman who has turned to a life of crime, and is armed with two high powered blow dryers. This cotton and acrylic ugly Christmas sweater will get everyone laughing, and the classic red and green motif is perfect for your next ugly Christmas sweater party, or any other time of the winter.
This ugly sweater features a snug fit although it runs on the small side, so you’ll want to order a larger size than you might normally wear. If someone on your gift list works in the banking industry, this would be a great gift idea for them. Clearly, the crime has already occurred on the Daisysboutique Holiday Snowman Ugly Sweater.
Clearly Santa needs a new red velvet robe, because the one he’s wearing on this Christmas sweater has to be censored in front and leaves his bum in the buff on the back. This ugly Christmas sweater is one of our favorites because it has a fun design on both the front and back of the sweater, so you’ll get people laughing whether you’re coming in or leaving the room.
This 100 percent acrylic sweater stands up to washing and never loses its color, so you can count on wearing it for many Christmases to come. If you’ve got a party where the sight of Santa’s butt cheeks might not be appreciated, just duck tape an X over them, for an even funnier conversation starter. The woodgrain pattern duck tape is a perfect option for the job.
Cute cats, mad cats, and viciously mean cats decorate this awfully ugly Christmas sweater. This is the perfect way to show that you’re a sensitive kind of guy, because who else would wear a tacky sweater like this that’s adorned with red bows and bells? At minimum, you’ll make a grand entrance, wherever you go, with all that jingling of the bells. Just keep in mind, you’re likely to offend all those feline fanciers you’re hoping to otherwise impress! You’d look super slick sporting this with a pair of red jeans. Do you dare? If that’s too over the top, how about a red muffler?
What happens when two of the funniest companies on the planet collab on an ugly Christmas sweater? Considering the companies are Poo-Pourri and Tipsy Elves, you know it’ll involve some pooping theme, and this sweater does it in spades. It features Santa dropping a load down the chimney, but it’s not quite that sack of toys you’d expect from the jolly old elf.
What’s even funnier besides the sentiment “drop it like it’s hot?” The fact that the chimney Santa’s sitting on is actually a knit pocket that holds – you guessed it – your own spray bottle of Poo-Pourri so you can attend parties and poop freely in someone else’s bathroom with absolutely no fear of retribution! Get it in sizes from Small to XX-Large.
Honestly, if you want to deliver a horrifying holiday vision, this is it. This ugly Christmas sweater envisions three terrifying T-Rex as the three wisemen, and then knits up a nightmare of dinosaurs and holiday riff-raff into a multi-colored menagerie of awfulness. Totally tacky, but downright funny, this comfy cotton sweater could become a new holiday favorite for Christmas day or holiday gatherings.
When it comes to tacky Christmas sweaters, this religiously irreverent option is a great conversation or argument starter. Made of washable, 100 percent cotton jacquard, this blue and black number features Jesus celebrating his funky self and proclaiming it’s birthday party time. To look extra awful, a bright blue turtleneck will really pop.
If this Christmas sweater isn’t quite ugly or inappropriate enough for your liking, you might prefer a different Jesus-themed sweater.
If you're looking for inappropriate Christmas sweaters that will leave your friends reeling from the shock and awe of your bad personal taste, these will absolutely win the day.
