Mayor Trampled to Death By Stud Donkey

Angry Donkey

Mayor William “Bill” Bohlke of Hollywood Park, a small town north of San Antonio, was tramped to death by an angry donkey.

Atascosa County Chief Deputy David Soward told My San Antonio why the Donkey may have attacked the mayor:

They can become very aggressive, very mean, sometimes triggered by a female in heat. We’ll probably never know what triggered it, but it was evident that this particular donkey was involved, based on the evidence at the scene and what we saw on this donkey.

Mayor William “Bill” Bohlke
Well, at least they fingered … erm … hooved the culprit. But are they suggesting that the good mayor was a female in heat? Because I’ll tell you right now that that seems highly implausible.

The mayor was found about 50 yards from his truck on his Atascosa County ranch. It was apparent that he was both kicked and trampled by the donkey, which is about 500-pound or average sized for a donkey. It’s now up to the family to decide what to do with the donkey.

Maybe the donkey was just angry about the speeches at the Republican National Convention. Get it? Because the Democratic logo is a donkey. And it’s currently the Republican National Convention. Psh. You wouldn’t know a good joke if it kicked and trampled you to death.